Friday humour

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FretwiredFretwired Frets: 24602
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Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
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  • bertiebertie Frets: 13581
    A Mummy covered in nuts and chocolate has been discovered in Egypt.

    Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche. 


    (stolen from Lord Tom B   on FB)
    just because you don't, doesn't mean you can't
     just because you do, doesn't mean you should.
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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700
    :D very droll Bertie......

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 16524
    bertie said:
    A Mummy covered in nuts and chocolate has been discovered in Egypt.

    Does that make her a yummy mummy?
    Tipton is a small fishing village in the borough of Sandwell. 
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  • CabbageCatCabbageCat Frets: 5549
    (It's "Rocher" not "Roche")
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  • bertiebertie Frets: 13581
    as in Cunt not Cat ?
    just because you don't, doesn't mean you can't
     just because you do, doesn't mean you should.
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  • KebabkidKebabkid Frets: 3369

    Some silly ones I've heard this week.

    What's the best cheese for hiding a horse?

    Mascapone

    What cheese should you use to coax a grizzly out of a cave?

    Camembert

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  • bertiebertie Frets: 13581
    sometimes  'aural' jokes dont translate well to being written
    just because you don't, doesn't mean you can't
     just because you do, doesn't mean you should.
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 16524
    Kebabkid said:

    Some silly ones I've heard this week.

    What's the best cheese for hiding a horse?

    Mascapone

    What cheese should you use to coax a grizzly out of a cave?

    Camembert

    What music does cheese like?

    R'n'Brie
    Tipton is a small fishing village in the borough of Sandwell. 
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9889
    What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

    Halloumi!
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • JAYJOJAYJO Frets: 1535
    I had a curry and ten pints last night, was on the toilet in work all morning. Most uncomfortable actually, my mate said Ringsting! I said  Why? Whats he gonna do about it?
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  • strumjoughlampsstrumjoughlamps Frets: 3392
    edited January 2014
    bertie said:
    sometimes  'aural' jokes dont translate well to being written
    That's what I thought when I read yours 
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 24602
    I caught my wife frigging herself off with her Sainsbury' s loyalty card.

    She's a nectarphiliac


    My workmates all take the piss out of me for being a train spotter.

    I got my own back on them though. I 'forgot' to radio them that one was coming through when they were working on a track fault.

    Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
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  • VimFuegoVimFuego Frets: 15944
    presumably they didn't have chocolate in Egypt in the times of the Pharaohs.

    I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.

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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 24602
    Transfer deadline day breaking news!

    Amanda Knox linked with move to Italy.

    Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700

    Little miss Muffet

    Sat on a tuffet

    lazy cow

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 24602
    It's said that pets and their owners can resemble each other.

    If that's true, I'd like to know where my wife keeps the hippo.

    Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
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  • bertiebertie Frets: 13581
    That's what I thought when I read yours 
    ah, but it works - on the same principle as the "Rhino Neal"    or "sick squid"  jokes   but the cheesey based ones dont
    just because you don't, doesn't mean you can't
     just because you do, doesn't mean you should.
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 24602
    I rang my daughters school up this morning.

    "Sorry, Amy won't be in today as she's not very well."

    "Oh dear," said her teacher, "what's she got?"

    "French, Maths and English I think."

    Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
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  • DeadmanDeadman Frets: 3983
    Been asked to coach a football team in Sheffield midweek.

    I called them and said I can't manage Wednesday.
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  •  

    bertie said:
    A Mummy covered in nuts and chocolate has been discovered in Egypt.

    Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche. 

     

    A Mummy soap star has been accused of having his nuts felt by girls under 16.

    Archaeologists believe in may be be Pharaoh Roache


    My muse is not a horse and art is not a race.
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