Friday humour

axisus · October 2019

Image: https://www.askideas.com/media/14/Fat-Girl-Funny-Bike-Ride.jpg

jonnyburgo · October 2019

Bloke goes up to the checkout at Asda, puts on the conveyor one apple, one pie, one piece of steak, one potato, one bottle of beer. The checkout girl says

"let me guess, you live by yourself"

The bloke looks at his shopping then at her and with a knowing look says

"Oh how did you guess?"

To which she replies

"You're an ugly cunt"

proggy · October 2019

Big fish, little fish, cardboard box.

I fucking hate stocktaking day at the Birds Eye warehouse.

Fretwired · October 2019

Image: http://www.fretwired.com/images/eco-sheep.jpg

EricTheWeary · October 2019

Urgent request

Due to someone dropping out...Is there anybody on here interested in a helicopter trip?

It will be with me and 3 friends.....We’ll be leaving at 10.10am on Friday from Manchester Airport and first fly direct to Southport where we will have breakfast. Afterwards we fly to Dublin to enjoy a lunch and a Guinness or two. Later on in the afternoon we will then fly down to London for an evening dining before staying in a 4 star hotel in the centre of the city. Early the next morning we depart London to be back at Manchester around noon.

If you are interested, please PM me - preferably someone with a helicopter.