Friday humour

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

Emp_Fab

Permissions errors for us on those last two Hoots.

AlexC

"My wife's got a singing gig in South Korea."

"Seoul?"

"No. Rhythm and blues."

Hootsmon

"My wife's got a singing gig in South Korea."

"Seoul?"

"I was just sayin'"

Fretwired

I've just bought a village from a chap called Shakespeare.

I say village .. it was more of a Hamlet.

TheOtherDennis

My doorbell's broken.

I didn't think it would matter, but it's had a knock-on effect.*



*Courtesy of the guy who wrote in to Radcliffe & Maconie this morning.

littlegreenman

axisus

axisus

axisus

drofluf

I hope you don’t mind me sharing a bit of joyous news on the run up to Christmas.

My good deed of the year came unexpectedly yesterday as I stood behind an elderly lady at the checkout in Tescos. Her bill for her shopping came in at a hefty £58.96 but when she brought out her purse and counted out her money she only had £50.00. 

I could see how embarrased she was and I was thinking this is probably someones Gran and I would like to think if my Gran was still alive someone would have helped her out. So I stepped up and said I would help out, but in a lovely quiet voice she said its ok you don’t need to help me, but I insisted and in no time at all we had all her shopping back on the shelves.

PhilW1

My Nan told  me she was in hospital last week with Morrissey...
I said ‘ no Nan, it was MRSA!

thanks to Harry Hill for that one.

Fretwired

I've got my wife an artificial leg for Christmas.

It's not her main present, just a stocking filler.

TheMarlin

https://imgur.com/a/J2cjSJl

TheMarlin

https://imgur.com/a/75IhTNS

Fretwired

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

Hootsmon