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  • HaychHaych Frets: 6158
    I left the wife as she’s obsessed with coffee
      she said I haven’t grounds for a divorce 

    (I just made that up ) 
    I came a bit latte to this.

    There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife

    Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky

    Bit of trading feedback here.

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  • the_jaffathe_jaffa Frets: 1927
    These coffee puns are making a mocha-ry of this excellent thread now.
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  • goldtopgoldtop Frets: 6512
    hollywoodrox said:
    I left the wife as she’s obsessed with coffee
      she said I haven’t grounds for a divorce 

    (I just made that up ) 
    I've always wanted a perky copulator. (c) Les Dawson, 1872
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  • rogdrogd Frets: 1612
    May be an image of deer and text that says DID YOU KNOW THAT A WHITETAIL IS CAPABLE OF JUMPING HIGHER THAN THE AVERAGE HOUSE THIS IS DUE TS POWERFUL HIND LEGS AND THE FACT THAT THE AVERAGE HOUSE CANT JUMP
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  • swillerswiller Frets: 1775
    Dont worry, be silly.
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  • HaychHaych Frets: 6158
    A man has been in court accused of sexually assaulting fruit.

    He got off on a peel.

    There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife

    Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky

    Bit of trading feedback here.

    2reaction image LOL 0reaction image Wow! 0reaction image Wisdom
  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 10067
    Several cows have been sexually assaulted locally.

    Police are looking for a man in a Jersey.
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • HaychHaych Frets: 6158
    How much should I spend on a really good bottle of wine?

    Half hour?  Twenty minutes?

    There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife

    Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky

    Bit of trading feedback here.

    3reaction image LOL 0reaction image Wow! 0reaction image Wisdom
  • HaychHaych Frets: 6158
    I always thought orthopaedic shoes were a waste of time, but I stand corrected!

    There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife

    Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky

    Bit of trading feedback here.

    7reaction image LOL 0reaction image Wow! 0reaction image Wisdom
  • StratavariousStratavarious Frets: 3809
    A guy stole a dessert from a shop.

    The police said it was just a trifling crime
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  • springheadspringhead Frets: 1703
    Stratavarious said:
    A guy stole a dessert from a shop.

    The police said it was just a trifling crime
    Lucky he didn’t get custardy.  
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  • HaychHaych Frets: 6158
    The police came to front door late last night and showed me a photograph.

    "Is this your wife, sir?", the cop asked.

    "Yes.", I said.

    The cop continued, "It appears she's been hit by a bus."

    I replied, "Well, yeah, she gets that a lot... but the kids seem to like her!"

    There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife

    Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky

    Bit of trading feedback here.

    8reaction image LOL 0reaction image Wow! 0reaction image Wisdom
  • HaychHaych Frets: 6158
    Midwife:  "Do you wish to have the father present for the birth?"

    Mother to be: "I don't think so, he and my husband don't get along very well!"

    There is no 'H' in Aych, you know that don't you? ~ Wife

    Turns out there is an H in Haych! ~ Sporky

    Bit of trading feedback here.

    5reaction image LOL 0reaction image Wow! 0reaction image Wisdom
  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 10067
    I’ve been doing dry January…

    Sauvignon Blanc - definitely dry
    Muscadet - ditto
    Chablis - ditto
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • BrioBrio Frets: 2244
    edited January 11
    If size doesn't matter, why don't they make three inch dildoes?
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  • ShrewsShrews Frets: 3237
     
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  • NothingOnTheTeleNothingOnTheTele Frets: 548
    I rear-ended a car the other day. The driver was a dwarf. He got out, walked over - big scowl on his face. 'I'm not happy,' he said.

    I said, 'Well which one are you then?'
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  • KittyfriskKittyfrisk Frets: 20518
    Banned from baking for the local kids. No idea what the problem was...


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  • bertiebertie Frets: 13587
    just because you don't, doesn't mean you can't
     just because you do, doesn't mean you should.
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  • Musical_Mystery_TourMusical_Mystery_Tour Frets: 562
    A  guy comes home with a duck under his arm, and he's forgotten his keys so he knocks on the door. His wife opens the door and looks at him...

    'This is the pig I've been f***ing' he says.
    'That's not a pig, that's a duck' she says.
    'I wasn't talking to you' he replies.
    My youtube music channel is here My youtube aviation channel is here
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