Friday humour

littlegreenman

relic245

For sale:

George Foreman grill.

Mohammed Ali DVD's

Both boxed.

GoFish

Philly_Q

^^  I think that's too true to laugh at.

GoFish

Philly_Q said:

^^  I think that's too true to laugh at.

I wasn't sure about putting it here as it's not a joke per se and isn't really funny* but wanted to share. 

*it's not even Friday - I'm all over the place!

GoFish

drofluf

nero1701

What do you call crows that stick together?

Velcrows

Jonathangus

drofluf

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings, and a man engages the hands-free speaker. Everyone else stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello.”
WOMAN: “Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only £2,000 - is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the latest models. I found one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “£90,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing… I was just talking to Lexie and found out the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking £980,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £900,000. They’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it’s what you really want.”
WOMAN: “OK! I’ll see you later. I love you so much!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room stare at him in total shock. 

He turns and asks:

“Anyone know whose phone this is?” 

GoFish

GoFish

GoFish

monquixote

GoFish said:

I really can't imagine Diane Morgan telling that joke.

GoFish

You're right - in any one of her guises, it just doesn't fit. 

GoFish

Haych

If you want hilarious Amazon reviews, click below for some of the now very famous write-ups of the aftermath from haribo sugar free gummy bears. 

https://www.boredpanda.com/hilarious-comments-sugarfree-haribo-gummies/

I seem to recall the other hilarious Amazon reviews were for Veet for men, I'll see if I can find a reference and post.

Edit: wasn't hard to find a best of compilation of reviews, here y'all go.  Warning, some of them are spit your tea out or choke funny:

https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/veet-for-men-hair-removal-gel-creme-200ml-review-too-funny-not-to-share/

axisus

axisus

axisus