downsizing home

RaymondLin

midlifecrisis said:

RaymondLin said:

340k 9 years ago must be a mansion unless you live in city centres of major cities surely, or Richmond or something.

4 bed detached potters bar

I think the better life style would work out better, your children are at an age where they will be going to university and leaving home shortly so do you even need the space?

Better living standard, financial security.

I do not see a down side. 

midlifecrisis

dchwhite said:

Just another pov, but when my parents decided to move away when I was about your eldest's age, I decided not to go along and stay in the local area instead. Not to try to say what you and yours should or shouldn't do of course

shes still a student. no way could she not move with us  at least until she goes to uni next yr.  actuslly talking about moving just 12- 15 miles or 20 minute drive time

mellowsun

340k for a 4 bed detached sounds like a bargain these days! I'm only a few miles south of Potters Bar (Enfield Chase) and right now you'd get a 2 bed terrace here for that.

So if you can release the cash and get somewhere nearby for a lot less I'd say do it.

Chalky

If it displaces the 15 year old from their friends then be prepared for consequences. You can be all "sod it and take the bus" but I've known parents who have done similar and then had 20 years of bad relationship with their kids.

Folks who haven't experienced it can give you all the tough guy and tough love suggestions but what value is their opinion if they have never been through it?

Ain't telling you what to do. But every decision we make has consequences so be prepared. Kids are not as forgiving as their parents.

Jez6345789

It probably sounds harsh but kids can't rule your life. A few years from now they will be doing there thing and you will be the lonley parent struggling to get them to come to Sunday lunch. If you daughters off to Uni then she will find most of her friends have moved on when she comes home. Well that's what my daughter has found in the last two years. Your son is younger but 10 miles down the road is not moving to Australia. It's worth pointing out if dad had a stroke or health issues and can't work for a while it will be game over and you will be moving and not to a place of your choosing. Stress is real issue for middle aged self employed and stuff you put yourself through when you were 30 just kills you in your mid 50's

midlifecrisis

mellowsun said:

340k for a 4 bed detached sounds like a bargain these days! I'm only a few miles south of Potters Bar (Enfield Chase) and right now you'd get a 2 bed terrace here for that.

So if you can release the cash and get somewhere nearby for a lot less I'd say do it.

that was11 yrs ago and it was a bargain even then, its probably north of 600k now.

Chalky said:

If it displaces the 15 year old from their friends then be prepared for consequences. You can be all "sod it and take the bus" but I've known parents who have done similar and then had 20 years of bad relationship with their kids.

Folks who haven't experienced it can give you all the tough guy and tough love suggestions but what value is their opinion if they have never been through it?

Ain't telling you what to do. But every decision we make has consequences so be prepared. Kids are not as forgiving as their parents.

15 yr old ok with it, more the 18 yr old but she seems to be coming round, now the idea of a car is on the table

thomasross20

Jeezo, 260k gain!? Man, I'd struggle to save that in a lifetime!

Jez makes a point... and it's one I think about since no kids (of my own) for me... they all grow up eventually and you're pretty much left to your own devices. I know people who have them "just because" - it fills a void and they've done better to do... but in the end you'll be on your own. I've skipped it all, I'm on my own now and rather than a gaping hole I've got shedloads to do!! 

midlifecrisis

thomasross20 said:

Jeezo, 260k gain!? Man, I'd struggle to save that in a lifetime!

Jez makes a point... and it's one I think about since no kids (of my own) for me... they all grow up eventually and you're pretty much left to your own devices. I know people who have them "just because" - it fills a void and they've done better to do... but in the end you'll be on your own. I've skipped it all, I'm on my own now and rather than a gaping hole I've got shedloads to do!! 

not a gain really, gotta live somewhere. unless i just get a motorhome and become a nomad,  ha no council tax

dchwhite

midlifecrisis said:

dchwhite said:

Just another pov, but when my parents decided to move away when I was about your eldest's age, I decided not to go along and stay in the local area instead. Not to try to say what you and yours should or shouldn't do of course

shes still a student. no way could she not move with us  at least until she goes to uni next yr.  actuslly talking about moving just 12- 15 miles or 20 minute drive time

I was too, but it was a bit further away - 3,000 miles Good luck with whatever you end up doing, anyway.

musicegbdf

Another way to look at it. My eldest just took out a forty years ,yes forty year, mortgage. But when I die my assets will go to her to help pay it off early....

mellowsun

I think that longer, multigenerational mortgages will become the norm. I understand that this is often happens in Switzerland, for example.

Certainly in London, people are happy to pay 500k for a 1 bed flat in the right area.

Personally, I'd rather be mortgage free but not everyone has the same view.

midlifecrisis

mellowsun said:

I think that longer, multigenerational mortgages will become the norm. I understand that this is often happens in Switzerland, for example.

Certainly in London, people are happy to pay 500k for a 1 bed flat in the right area.

Personally, I'd rather be mortgage free but not everyone has the same view.

we took ours as a 20yr mortgage 11 yrs ago, the norm seemed to be 25 yrs, but worked out it wasnt a lot more each monthe and finishing 5 yrs earlier saved a lot of interest, wow 40 yrs, no end in sight.