I want a divorce... or a murder...

Hootsmon

I could kidnap her for you....a sort of Japanese takeaway if you like

RobDavies

I find Gogglebox genuinely funny. It's great TV. 

 I also like First Dates and Bear Grylls Island, so screw the lot of you.....

monquixote

About two and a half years ago I moved into a new house and discovered the TV aerial didn't work. 

Threads like this are the reason I haven't bothered getting it fixed. 

meltedbuzzbox

octatonic said:

Not exactly swiftian in its rapier like subtlety, then?

been watching red dwarf lately by any chance?

richardhomer

monquixote;617970" said:

Threads like this are the reason I haven't bothered getting it fixed. 

And probably reason to lament the continued functionality of your interweb....

Dalefty

Consider yourself lucky my girlfriend wants me to buy her a car tomorrow, she has the hole day planned out bouncing between car dealerships, and we're not even married and have only been dating since just before Christmas 2014, so for less than six months.


DaLefty

jd0272

Dalefty;618011" said:

Consider yourself lucky my girlfriend wants me to buy her a car tomorrow, she has the hole day planned out bouncing between car dealerships, and we're not even married and have only been dating since just before Christmas 2014, so for lessthan six months.





DaLefty

I'd heartily suggest fucking her right off.

Dalefty

jd0272 said:

I'd heartily suggest fucking her right off.

Easier said than done, she is amazing in bed, she gives great head and does this amazing thing with her tounge that makes you feel as if you have just died and gone to heaven, and besides masturbation is just too much effort..

Did I mention that she is not only Irish, but a red haired Irish woman with a temper to match her firey good looks.

And did I happen to mention that she is drop dead gorgeous, with an amazing body to kill for?  She is one of the few women that I have never had to fake an orgasim with.

DaLefty

Branshen

I thought faking orgasms was something only girls did...

randomhandclaps

Branshen said:

I thought faking orgasms was something only girls did...

Silly... He said fake 'orgasim' not 'orgasm'. It's Latin for machismo.

chillidoggy

Think yourself lucky your missus doesn't watch ITVBe.

octatonic

meltedbuzzbox said:

octatonic said:

Not exactly swiftian in its rapier like subtlety, then?

been watching red dwarf lately by any chance?

Not recently but yes tis quouthed.

jonnyburgo

Like the comedian Steve Hughes said about TV,"oh stop being so cynical, come on, eat your shit"

RocknRollDave

Kay Burley outside the hospital where Kate Middleton is due to give birth.......now THAT is a new low in TV.

jd0272

Dalefty;618070" said:

jd0272 said:





I'd heartily suggest fucking her right off.







Easier said than done, she is amazing in bed, she gives great head and does this amazing thing with her tounge that makes you feel as if you have just died and gone to heaven, and besides masturbation is just too much effort..



Did I mention that she is not only Irish, but a red haired Irish woman with a temper to match her firey good looks.



And did I happen to mention that she is drop dead gorgeous, with an amazing body to kill for?  She is one of the few women that I have never had to fake an orgasim with.



DaLefty

Points noted

Iamnobody

Dalefty;618011" said:

Consider yourself lucky my girlfriend wants me to buy her a car tomorrow, she has the hole day planned out bouncing between car dealerships, and we're not even married and have only been dating since just before Christmas 2014, so for less than six months.





DaLefty

A hole day sounds good but forget buying a car...

mike_l

Drew, a murder will cost less in the longer term.

Sambostar

Agree, and you'll probably only have to serve 10 years, probably less with parole and you'll still get 3 meals a day cooked for you.