Ways to annoy your wife, what works for you?

jonnyburgo

And falling asleep before she does that irritates her too, apparently it's evidence that I have no life in me.

ICBM

Stopping suddenly in the middle of an argument when I realise I'm not going to get anywhere and refusing to discuss the subject any further.

Bucket

I'm a bit of a neat freak so my girlfriend's laissez-faire approach to tidying and washing up annoys me.

She's messy so my rather anal-retentive approach to the above annoys her.

Luckily we don't live together, I think it would probably cause arguments.

djspecialist

crunchman said:

Eating.  Apparently I eat too noisily.

Apparently I swallow far too noisy.

Before you lot get all kinky, this is most often complained about when I come in from doing some gardening and neck a pint of water.  Seems unfair to me.

RandallFlagg

Telling her that Dawn, our neighbour over the road, looks really nice in that new dress.

darthed1981

RMJ said:

Breathing 

I've read through this thread waiting for someone to say this, to see if I could get in first, you win.

So, this.

crunchman

djspecialist said:

crunchman said:

Eating.  Apparently I eat too noisily.

Apparently I swallow far too noisy.

Before you lot get all kinky, this is most often complained about when I come in from doing some gardening and neck a pint of water.  Seems unfair to me.

My daughters are sometimes getting told off for eating too noisily now as well.

Axe_meister

Falling asleep when she's riding me.

octatonic

octatonic said:

She is very hard to annoy.

I'm the grumpy one.

Still trying.
Haven't succeeded.

underdog

octatonic said:

octatonic said:

She is very hard to annoy.

I'm the grumpy one.

Still trying.
Haven't succeeded.

Send her to me for a few days, seems I'm incredibly good at pissing off women, even when I'm not trying.

Sassafras

jonnyburgo said:

And falling asleep before she does that irritates her too, apparently it's evidence that I have no life in me.

It's the other way round for me, waking up never fails to send her into paroxysms of rage.

fandango

Playing anything by Frank Zappa ... or even better (trying) to sing an out-of-tune version of his "Love of my Life" off the Reuben & The Jets album.

boogieman

fandango said:

Playing anything by Frank Zappa ... or even better (trying) to sing an out-of-tune version of his "Love of my Life" off the Reuben & The Jets album.

My wife is pretty hard to annoy, like others I'm generally the grumpy half of our marriage. Putting on a Mahavishnu Orchestra track usually works though.  

Sesh

octatonic said:

octatonic said:

She is very hard to annoy.

I'm the grumpy one.

Still trying.
Haven't succeeded.

Has the fact that you are now seemingly emp not annoyed her?

Iamnobody

As of today I can confirm that forgetting her birthday goes down like a shit sandwich...we are away for the weekend partially because of it and I still forgot!

guitarfishbay

Bucket said:

I'm a bit of a neat freak so my girlfriend's laissez-faire approach to tidying and washing up annoys me.

She's messy so my rather anal-retentive approach to the above annoys her.

Luckily we don't live together, I think it would probably cause arguments.

Hah same thing here. You get used to it with a bit of compromise...

I get stressed if I feel enclosed by stuff being everywhere. Especially if there's nowhere to walk in a room due to stuff being all over the floor.

Somehow she needs nearly two wardrobes, a chest of drawers and 3 tall bookshelves (that corner IKEA Billy thing), most of the door hooks, under bed storage, and half of my chest of drawers too. I have half of one section of one wardrobe and half of a chest of drawers.

At least the floor is clear these days, many items of flatpack furniture building later...

Can't complain otherwise though.

boogieman

Iamnobody said:

As of today I can confirm that forgetting her birthday goes down like a shit sandwich...we are away for the weekend partially because of it and I still forgot!

Good grief, that's going to give her ammo for decades to come. Wouldn't want to be you right now. 

Dominic

My wife has a ridiculous obsession with insects....flys,wasps,midges etc  and keeping them away from the house
If we are away or eating outside and a fly or wasp comes near the table she does this very very annoying jumping up and swatting/flappingi in a completely out of control screaming fit whilst ducking her head and generally prancing around like a demented loon......invariably wine bottles and side plates go flying soaking and staining everybody at ours and adjoining tables. It makes me absolutely furious.
 Consequently,no matter how hot she keeps going round the house closing windows  ....so I keep following her round re- opening them and patio doors etc.........very often I do it even when it's cold just to annoy her.

AlexC

Playing one of her guitars - although she's allowed to play mine anytime she likes, apparently.

Winny_Pooh

If I close the doors downstairs when it's freezing it "keeps out the fresh air"
yet
Cracking a bedroom window overnight for some cool air to have a comfy sleep under a duvet "gives me a headache and sore throat"