Fiction on theFB #1.

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TTonyTTony Frets: 27346
edited August 2013 in Off Topic

The rules:

We each write 2 sentences which should (in an ideal world) follow-on in some way from whatever's been written previously.

To keep it easy to follow the story, please don't post other comments on this discussion (I'll just delete them!) - use the original discussion instead (here).

Rather than stickying this discussion, let's try to keep it near the top by replying quickly ...

As there's only a few of us playing this time - suggest that we do three rounds.

The order is ... TTony  >>  rpr  >>  BigPaulie  >>  littlegreenman  >>  Antique_Guitars  >>  holnrew  >>  redrighthand  >>  Bucket  >>  PolarityMan  >>  Johnnyurq  >>  bluenose.

Good to go?

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Comments

  • TTonyTTony Frets: 27346
    edited August 2013

    Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (all good stories start this way), the beautiful princess (naturally) was not having a typically princess-style day.

    The day had started badly - the clock radio alarm had woken her with Radio 1 at 6am - had got worse when she realised that she hadn't put the "do not disturb" sign outside her door the previous evening and she could now hear a key being inserted into the lock, and then got very very bad indeed when she'd read the message that had just arrived on her phone.

     

    @rpr - yours!

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  • rprrpr Frets: 308
    edited August 2013

    The message read "Glad to see you cared. I'll be round to collect you later-John". Now this was spooky as John  was her deceased boyfriend, whose funeral she'd attended last week.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Frets: 30
    edited August 2013
    She felt her stomach sink to the floor; a wave of nausea, fear and disgust enveloped her. She wondered who could be so sick to send such a message when she was still deep in the throes of grief but noticed that the text had actually come from John's phone: then the door opened.

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  • littlegreenmanlittlegreenman Frets: 4959
    edited August 2013
    John walked into the room, "I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you about this before, and for what I had to put you through, but all will become clear once I explain".

    Reeling from the sight of her "dead" boyfriend, barely able to speak, she simply uttered "How could you?"

    @Antique_Guitars
    littlegreenman < My tunes here...
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  • Antique_GuitarsAntique_Guitars Frets: 1167
    edited August 2013
    Seeing that she was distressed John tried to move towards her and embrace her but she was having none of it, she pushed him hard in the chest and the force nearly toppled him. " OK OK calm down" he said and with that she fell to her knees, tears and mascara streaming down her face like the Niagra Falls.


    @holnrew
    Old Is Gold
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  • holnrewholnrew Frets: 8207
    edited August 2013
    John stood there, watching Princess Karen's tears and snot pooling on the floor and he could only imagine what was going on in her mind. Little did she know that John's presence in her living room was the only the start of such a big mindfuck, her brain would never walk the same again.

    @redrighthand
    My V key is broken
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  • Karen slowly came to her senses, only half aware of the goings on around her, the decaying skin and pus on John's pallid face, the news report blaring from the radio about the spillage at the local nuclear reactor...

    Suddenly she reached a point of total clarity, and without hesitation grabbed her smartphone, logged on to Mumsnet, and posted a new thread: "AIBU to hate my selfish bastard of a BF for coming back from the dead just when I'm starting to enjoy dating hot local DILFs?".

    @Bucket
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  • BucketBucket Frets: 7751
    edited August 2013
    She didn't have to wait long for a reply - the well-known forum user known only as Harridan404 typed "No, YANBU - what a selfish arsehole, my advice would be to get a divorce as soon as you can."

    While mulling this advice over, Karen logged into The Fretboard to have a quick gander at what was being said about the latest abominable limited-run Gibson Les Paul, and found that she shared the other users' disbelief at its $11,999 price tag while also being disgusted at the combination of abalone binding, Robot-tuning idiocy and a fucking Bigsby - then she scrolled down to Off Topic, stunned to see that a story was being written piece by piece about her experiences so far today.

    - "I'm going to write a very stiff letter. A VERY stiff letter. On cardboard."
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  • PolarityManPolarityMan Frets: 7273
    edited August 2013
    "This is just too weird.....", she thought to herself as she rubbed her antlers absent mindedly, "....I'm a princess, normally my butler reads my text messages to me." She pushed past the thing that used to be John, and summoning every ounce of her sense of entitlement, vigorously rang the small hand bell she kept on her bedside table.

    @Johnnyurq Your move.
    ဈǝᴉʇsɐoʇǝsǝǝɥɔဪቌ
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  • johnnyurqjohnnyurq Frets: 1368
    edited August 2013
    The Princess turned and said to John, you come back from the dead and irradiated to boot just as I get used to my lorry battery powered vibro expecting to pick up where you left off, no way matey boy, I don't need this shit I am a Princess you know.

    That was when John dropped his bombshell that he was not the only returnee from a festering, dank and irradiated grave, so now the nuclear zombie apocalypse was upon mankind!!!!

    Over to you in the studio @Bluenose
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  • TTonyTTony Frets: 27346

    These dreams were getting more vivid and more ridiculous-yet-realistic and Princess Karen was getting them more often - more often than she cared for - she had to stop waking up to Radio 1.

    She sat up in bed and checked the door to her room - it was fine, still closed and all still sounded quiet outside in the hallway - but as she turned back to the bedside table she saw that the message light on her phone was definitely blinking - that was no dream.

     

    @rpr - round 2 ...

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  • rprrpr Frets: 308
    The message was from an unknown number. She felt a horrible, deep chill run through her body as she opened the inbox and read...
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  • ...Have you had PPI on any of your loans in the past 6 years? If so you may be entitled to compensation.

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  • Antique_GuitarsAntique_Guitars Frets: 1167
    edited August 2013
    Princess Karen was terribly confused! "but i've never taken out any loans, daddy always pays for everything" she mumbled to herself whilst desperately trying to figure out what was going on. Just as Karen was starting to piece together what this information meant, another text arrived. This time it was from Mike Farner (her ex lover, world famous guitarist and former frontman of Grand Funk Railroad) he was in town and was wondering if the princess was around to hook up and maybe jam out some sick Cajun-Japanese-Turkish Rave Jazz. The pair had met some years ago at a seedy underground electro club in Berlin, where she had thoroughly impressed Mike with her vituoso flute playing abilities.

    @holnrew
    Old Is Gold
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  • holnrewholnrew Frets: 8207
    edited August 2013
    Unfortunately she was out of practise as a flautist. She contemplated the word "flautist" for a moment, and came to the conclusion that it was a silly word and would replace it with "fluteer" in her vocabulary. She quickly tapped out a reply to Mike Farner (her ex lover, world famous guitarist and former frontman of Grand Funk Railroad), "I would love to meet up for a drink holmes, but I'm afraid I don't have the fluteer skills to pay the bills, yo."

    @redrighthand
    My V key is broken
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  • Suddenly Karen remembered that she was supposed to be meeting her friend Dick Strong in town - she'd forgotten in all of the excitement. Grabbing her raincoat, jumper, hat, umbrella, smartphone, handbag, shopping bag, three bin liners, a half-eaten kebab, a small penknife, a stuffed mouse, a small pot plant, a USB cable, and a large package wrapped in brown paper and featuring only the words "EXTREMELY FRAGILE", she hotfooted it to the bus stop, and took the number 73 to the centre of town. @Bucket
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  • BucketBucket Frets: 7751
    edited August 2013
    On the bus, setting aside all the other gubbins she had brought with her, Karen unwrapped the large package wrapped in brown paper and featuring only the words "EXTREMELY FRAGILE" and found another box inside. Once she opened this box, and the several others nestled inside each other like Russian dolls (each bigger than the last) she discovered, to her shock, a portal to the centre of the earth.

    Live with that, @PolarityMan!
    - "I'm going to write a very stiff letter. A VERY stiff letter. On cardboard."
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  • PolarityManPolarityMan Frets: 7273
    She closed her eyes as she felt herself being inexorably pulled into the rapidly growing vortex.

    Meanwhile in Mexico.....
    ဈǝᴉʇsɐoʇǝsǝǝɥɔဪቌ
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  • TTonyTTony Frets: 27346
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  • johnnyurqjohnnyurq Frets: 1368
    edited August 2013
    Meanwhile in Mexico the nice Mexican luthier chaps were putting the final touches to the Princesses new Mex custom shop Stratele/Mustang hybrid axe (no Bigsby natch) so she can wail on it when she emerges from the center of the earth.

    But for now Karen was too busy pulling mega G's and laughing at her face and all her major appendages flapping about in the vortex storm like a jowly Churchill type dog in a force 10, how the hell am I going to get out of this one she asked herself?


    @Bluenose or whoever is next.



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