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More seriously... you need a Bigsby B5 and a Vibramate V5-TEAS-ST kit with Tele bridge saddles. I can't find a UK price, but unfortunately they're not cheap. They are really the only way of doing it without modding the guitar to take a different bridge, since that Strat-type bridge doesn't allow for the strings going through the back. Any other bridges I can think of which would work have a different footprint and would need drilling, and leave the old holes visible, I think.
You can get one direct from the US, but it's nearly £200 even before you get stung for import duty…
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Bigsby-B5-Vibramate-V5-TEAS-ST-Mounting-Kit-Cabronita-Tele-USA-Brand-New-/232175947771
"Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski
"Only two things are infinite - the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
B17: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=bigsby+b17&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari#imgrc=OdHFfCnZCiPeVM:
chopped B17:
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=chopped+bigsby+b17&client=safari&hl=en-gb&prmd=sivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiFso2H6qnSAhUpJ8AKHc75CDwQ_AUICCgC&biw=414&bih=628#imgrc=-0KAcUVsN1UICM:
Rutters bridge:
http://www.ruttersguitars.com/uploads/RuttersChoppedBridge1.jpg
You would have to order the bridge with cuts for string psssage to allow Bigsby use.