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Best wishes to Thomas and Sheena.
This has definitely been a load off - just totting up the wedding, house move costs, solicitor costs, and the realisation that my junk car needs to be replaced soon - it's an eye-opener, so it's good I don't have the holiday money to worry about - thank you so much from all our family and friends! Everybody is genuinely amazed when I tell them about this.
Last night we OK'd the power attorney docs, made edits to the draft wills and I went over the legal docs for the house move. And amended the catering choices and got back to the videographer with the plan for the wedding day. Oh, and work lol..
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Was at a friend's tonight but he doesn't quite get "it" - he's largely concerned with money and doesn't get why people get married and is a little TOO practical, if you get my drift. He is of no comfort but he's the only one who keeps in touch. He never ever asks how Sheena is feeling, for example. Total opposite to Sheena and I. Sheena is all heart, a big cuddler. Caring and sharing are part of her nature. I find I'm berating myself as I can't seem to bring myself to tears. Instead I feel very numb just thinking about how lonely I'm going to be without her. Really bloody lonely.
Quite a few folk querying if I'm doing the right thing "for me" by taking on the girls when their "real dad" is still around. I recognise that he has to step up but people questioning this gets my back up. Abandoning the girls would be to desecrate Sheena's memory. People don't get that we've been together almost a decade, with the girls in the same flat. They don't really "know" us - do people think this was just some fling and that I should now bugger off to California or something!? I get they that they're looking out for me but it feels like they've insulted our last 9 years together like it has been nothing. It's been everything to me. The age gap gives our relationship a fantastic angle which works really well - we really are two peas in a pod and I'm going to be totally f#*@ed without her.
Been super busy. Going to Disney week after next. Thank heavens for the forum fund (serious!!) as I have spent a shit load on wedding, house etc.. and if I need a new car (mine making noises) I'm thinking about selling some gear to ease the financial burden.
Her side has been hurting a fair bit. She's been snappy with me, but they say it's always the ones you love that gets snapped at. So today I gave her lots of space.
Just feel numb.
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I went to a gig with one of my best friends from school and on the way back we were talking and I can't remember why, but we got on to the subject of my step son and how I'd done something or other for him. His reaction was "why? Its not your spunk".
I've not really bothered with him since that.
@DefaultM that's terrible to hear
What is wrong with some guys!?
I had a similar thing once (in fact, no... this happened twice with two separate uni "pals")... guys I knew from uni for years. I'd been seeing Sheena about 7-8 years in both instances and they said practically the same thing at different times.. which was, when I mentioned she had teenage stepdaughters, they both asked if they were "tidy" and "would you?" etc etc... and I'm like "WTF!?" - just because they're not "mine" - such a juvenile thing to say. Who are these people?? Maybe they need to grow up. I wonder how they'd react if they had girls and I said that to them in 15 years time or whatever. Honestly!
Women are much less likely to make comments like that - in fact I'd say these days my best friends are women!
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I've replied via PM.
Just keep on doing what you're doing TR, including talking to us here.
Your "friends" are being dicks.
I was in a relationship with his mother for the years between him being 7 and 15.
After we split up, i was the only person he'd ever been able to call Dad and the only one who'd been a Dad to him so we agreed that nothing changes.
He's 23 now, him and his Wife have just had their first Baby and he calls me "Granda'" now, just like she's my Granddaughter.
It's what you make it.
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