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I'll remember that about Brighton in case we are ever down that way, thanks!
Yeah it's so so so crap I can't come back to give Sheena a cuddle and just be happy with her. Numb, anger, despair, tiredness. Anger! I gave Sheena my all. And I know I have the girls, and that's great, but it's different. And I've taken on huge responsibility. Which is fine. But I'm allowed to weep for myself, too, which is what I feel like doing. I'm not adjusting well getting back into work and the commute, but then it's only been two days. It's really going back into a comfort blanket. Though I don't feel comforted and feel I haven't anything to look forward to or take joy in (spending time with the girls is good, though). I'm glad to have this outlet, being able to write here. Though totally obviously I miss bending Sheena's ear in the evening. I might drive out to see her tonight despite the dark, wind & rain.
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Unfortunately Christmas is now here and I know it won't be easy - I was talking with my dad the other day about it - My mum died in mid Sept (1986), so quite close to Christmas - My dad's best man's wife just died 2 weeks ago and he was talking with me about how 'shit' that first Christmas was - And how 31 years later he still recalls that first 'lonely' Christmas - So be prepared - I'm sure you are but don't 'sulk' at home on your own feeling lonely and sorry for yourself - Have your moment by all means but try and be positive and busy
Managed to sell her car today. Sad to see it go but the sales guy at Arnold Clark (!) was actually decent and didn't get completely ripped off. There's a plaque on a cat pen at the local shelter (will try to get a pic of it) due to the funeral donations , so will try to go see that. Bunch of other stuff happening. Got the final house snags done. Traffic today was a nightmare, 2hr 30m total ugh. Work was ok first half of day. For no reason got angry again tonight. Got some odd-shaped photos delivered for a while bunch of frames I have - one for the desk at work.
Apologies as not on too much of late and I feel all I have time for us to update this thread. Will hopefully be a better participant in future months.
Sorry about your dad's best man's wife was it cancer?
A few more folk have said give it time in order to move on. But I don't know what "move on" means. I don't want to move on or forget or ever let her memory fade.
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Take your time, and your own company whenever you need it, but remember there are many people around you to help also.
Adam
Friends and acquaintances naturally quickly move on with their lives and forgot a bit - some are great some are not. That’s life. My daughters are my main support and that is great. I talk to them about stuff that I never thought I would and this is reciprocated. They are the most important thing.
Ive now decided to dip my toe back in the relationship waters and it has been fun and interesting. I loved my wife but it’s time to start moving on and that is what she wanted for me.
There is no manual for this, no right way or wrong way, I just want to live life, laugh, have companionship again and remember that I have been lucky enough to have loved and been loved by someone special.
8 months , almost a year or around 1% of your life. I can't say what I'll do in future but I told her I'd never find anybody else. I do feel I like to get out and meet people , though.. sitting in to play guitar in my own isn't lighting a fire inside me anymore/right now.
Really appreciate your views/story etc - as I do everybody's, of course. Did you consider any sort of grief counseling?
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What I am sure about is that there is no right or wrong way of doing this, and it can take people very different lengths of time to adjust - and you should feel free to experience this in your own way and at your own pace.
Best wishes guys
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Taking the idea of sharing experiences to better deal with life I chanced on this earlier on Meryl Streep's Wiki page and thought of you, Tiggs:
Streep lived with actor John Cazale for three years until his death from lung cancer in March 1978. Streep said of his death, "I didn't get over it. I don't want to get over it. No matter what you do, the pain is always there in some recess of your mind, and it affects everything that happens afterwards. I think you can assimilate the pain and go on without making an obsession of it."
:0
Trading feedback: http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/72424/
A mate of mine died suddenly a few years back, leaving behind his wife and 2 young girls.
She has documented her journey as a widow in a blog. You can read it here.
https://widowsdontwearblack.com
Everyone seems to experience grief in different ways but I'm sure much of what you are experiencing is completely normal for someone who has lost their partner.
Have a read of her blog. It's very open and honest and may help you...
I'm getting my ashes next to Sheena when I die but for those who go on to other relationships I wonder how they decide what happens to their own remains later down the line (split ashes?).. just something that popped into my head ..!!!
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probably because I have no kids and am painfully practical about almost everything
Read 5 of those blog posts
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