Sorry for the self-indulgent tone of this thread but it's important to me... (and I'm a bit pissed)
As some may recall, my mum died unexpectedly in August 2016. Tomorrow, the sale of her house... my family home from the age of ten until I left at age... er.... never mind that bit.... will complete and it will belong to someone else. We moved there from London in May 1974, when I was just 10, Harold Wilson was Prime Minister and the house cost my parents the grand sum of £11,000 ! I remember the day we moved in. I was thrilled to discover that the Welsh channels were showing the Six Million Dollar Man, which had ended on the London stations and I remember phoning my old mate in London to gloat about it
:-)So many memories... and as of tomorrow, I won't be able to go there anymore. I have so many... rebuilding my Honda 550 in the garage, hanging the tank up from the rafters to respray it. Mum popping up to bring me a cup of tea. Me taking my VF550 out, and polishing it adoringly on the weekends. Staggering in at god knows what hour, off my tits, trying to creep up the stairs without being heard. Christmases with everyone there. Me writing programs on my dad's new Amstrad computer. Me getting into bulletin boards on my old Atari 520 STFM before the invention of the internet. Thousands of memories...
Now, the house is bare. No furniture, nothing left - just empty rooms. I'm not ashamed to admit I walked around the house this week, alone, and sobbed my heart out. It seems so odd that a home so full of life and love can end up being just a bunch of empty rooms on the market to the highest bidder.
As of tomorrow, I'll be debt free for the first time in thirty years, but I'd much rather still have my mum.
I guess it's just one of those moments in life that all of us has to go through but we don't realise how important they are until it happens to us.
I've been dreading the day that I say my goodbyes to the house for a long time. I'll be going over there in the morning to pick up the last few items, give the carpets a quick hoover and hand the keys to the estate agent. Strange days indeed.
Donald Trump needs kicking out of a helicopter
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
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On the other, my Nan is 90 and all the stuff you remember doing in your house, I remember her being around during various bits of my existence. Chin up and celebrate your life.
I've spent the day at her house clearing it all out with my Dad and Uncle. It is bittersweet. I miss her a lot, but still smile at some silly things. Plectrums down the side of her bed for one! Or the sleeping bag I used 20 years ago when I was a kid. It will be on the market soon. Everything has to go.
The important thing is, you had a family home to build so many great memories. It wasn't the bricks that did that, your family did. As said above, you aren't losing any memories, just the house. However, it still sucks.
I’m sure it’ll be a tough day Emp - all the best with it. The new owners will create their own history in there - which is actually a great thing....
All the best.
Sadly,my mother had been gone for 18 months but I walk around the house and see her everywhere - it's almost as if all is still well and she has just "popped to the shops" as she used to say.
Its a very cathartic experience to stroll through all your childhood memories in your mid fifties.
I think @richardhomer has hit the nail on the head
I wish you many happy memories Mr Emp
Still sucks though. Alas I will never have that feeling, we moved about a lot when I was a kid. My mum lives in a house I never lived in so I won't have that attachment. Fortunately my mum is the fittest 70 year old I've every met. I will likely be retiring myself before she passes away.
As i left the house for the last time i watched a council worker throwing my mothers beloved wall lights into a skip.
My mother worked hard on the garden and it shows. Now. When i pass the house the garden is overgrown and honestly looks a disgrace. The council have a new tennant and the neighbours who have bought their houses must be livid.
Lots of good memories and bad . no regrets my mother would not have liked any of us to live there (3 of us) and expected us to do better and we all have done.
chin up mate good luck for the future.
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
I was born in my Grandparents house in a small village in Leicestershire. My father had built a bungalow next door in the plot of land but it still left a huge garden and orchard. The extended family were once a large part of the small village, today over 50 years later just my fathers cousin still lives there. The house was sold decades ago and the land built on so much that the bungalow now seems to have a huge garden compared to the little gardens all the other houses now have. I would often have cause to revisit my childhood village over the interveening years. Last time was spring 2016 when my son played in the trials for the under 21 UK pool team, I drove through the village which has yet more massive housing development in progress and for the first time I could actually feel I didn't belong. I've not lived there for 55 years although I visited family ofton that did.
They can't take the memories though. I don't know if that helps @Emp_Fab but you will carry on, look to the future but remeber your past.
The pain will distil itself to memory...it's those we need to cling on to.
Stay cool..it'll be OK in time.
I think all that's only natural behaviour.
Apart from hoovering the carpets, obv.
I cleared some some of my dad’s stuff out after he died eight years ago but my mother is still in the house. I sometimes wonder what that will be like, having to throw away the crap she’s accumulated in 51 years there. I can’t even sort out my own garage.
Perfectly natural to be upset.
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The only things I want from my mum’s place are her family photos, everything else can go. As someone else has said, the best memories are in your head already, you don’t really need objects to keep those alive.
I'm finding this 'closure' hard. It's the final letting go that I don't want to make. Until now there was plenty of stuff that needed doing in relation to her. Now there's nothing but the memories.
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."