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Comments
My eldest son was born in Wordsley hospital.
I would say work on your muting of unplayed strings and try to get the notes that you're playing "programmed" under your fingers before you speed it up any. Maybe work on making sure your bends are in tune too.
My opinion is that you're attempting to play pieces beyond your technical ability. Way beyond! Which is no crime because Yngwie's stuff is way beyond most people because of its technical nature.
The problem with trying to play stuff beyond one's ability is that it sounds unmusical and sloppy.
I do not play this kind of material so I'll leave it to others to explain how to do the technical stuff.
For posting the video, fair enough, it can take confidence to put your work up for scrutiny.
How it sounds: You've got lots of messy tremolo picking and the arpeggios lack clarity and precision. My 2p's is that as your technique improves you'll look back at these vids and hear what I mean.
My experience of these internet thingys though is that pointing to the elephant in the room often makes no difference, but there you go, you asked nicely for feedback and I've pointed to the elephant anyway!
I spent far too long trying to sweep pick and whilst I ultimately gave up as it didn't fit in with the band I play in (but throwing in the occasional string skipping arpeggio is fun); things I did to try and clean up my technique, which is my ultimate critique of your video - it's a bit messy - is to slow down.
Going deeper slow down, unplug the amp; or at least dial down the drive as this will make sure you have to play cleanly, learn a couple of patterns and move them around the neck to get a 'feel' for what you're trying to achieve.
I'm sure JustinGuitar has a section on sweep picking, and there are numerous youtube tutorials
Hats off though for having the balls to try an Yngwie tune - and keep practicing and you'll meet your musical goals.........just don't listen to Perpetual Burn by Jason Becker!!!