1. Picks only exist when being observed. Look away for even a second and they will disappear.
2. Modern physics requires twelve dimensions to explain how the universe works. Plectrum physics postulates a thirteenth which hoovers up unobserved picks. (Dimensions five through twelve respectively explain right-hand gloves, Tupperware lids, odd socks, TV remotes, biros, 0.05” Allen keys, car keys, and items of cutlery.)
3. Every time a pick is manufactured, a quantum-entangled pair is created in an alternative universe. If that pick gets misplaced yours will get misplaced too.
4. Every time you put a pick in your pocket it creates a rip in the fabric of reality which it disappears into. In our reality the pick then never existed.
5. Half of all existing picks are actually anti-picks. When a pick comes into contact with an anti-pick they will both disappear.
Sometimes it really is easier to believe that picks exist only inside your head than to open the Pandora’s box that is plectrum physics.
I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
Comments
The problem of vanishing picks has been solved by ensuring that there are a liberal supply in every guitar case, and scattered throughout every room in the house.
1. Picks only exist when being observed. Look away for even a second and they will disappear.
This is the truest thing I've ever read on the internet
I now play with a tungsten pick with mother-of-pearl inlay
At £26 a time (I have two) you do not loose these.
I apply the same principle to picks. Last time I bought 20, and benefitted from a bulk price. They live in a tin which is stuck to my pedal board. There’s a second tin which holds all the free picks I’ve been given or found lying around. These are available for dealing with rule 9 If you lend a pick to someone they will only give it back if they’ve damaged it.
Guitar Bomb Giveaway – Win a FREE set of Oil City Pickups Deep Six humbuckers