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Waiter: You could try the tarka dhal sir, it's a little 'otter.
Then one day when she was out I looked through her underwear drawer.
I found a nurses outfit, a policewoman's uniform and a French maids outfit.
I thought, well if she can't hold down a fucking job then she's clearly not for me.
You Sir, are well read, fair play to you
Glad I didn't They turned out to be a bunch of cun7s.
When i asked at the job centre they said i had to go to Cornwall.
I said "why, is that where the job is"?
They said "no, thats where the back of the fucking queue is"!
(nabbed from twitter)
I told my doctor I can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs.
He said I could have that new croonervirus.