Maybe I've been hoofin' too much Wickes Steel 140, but I'm really tired of CGI based movies. Where the hell are the STORRRRIIEEEEESSSSSSS !?!?!!!
I blame Tom Cruise. 2012 was dross. Absolute dire, diabolical, diarrhea-otic, DROSS. But that big gloomy "the world is ending" thing has been huge since then.
Every. Fucking. Trailer. Has. The. Same. Fucking. Hans. Zimmer. String. Patch. With. De. Satch. Hurrrrrrrr. Hated colours, gloomy transitions, and BIG FUCKING STINGS UP THE WAZOO!!! It's like being fucked to death by bees!
Trailer steps:
1. Load a desaturated LUT across all your footage.
2. Make your fade-to-black transitions 10 seconds long.
3. Load up Native Instruments THRILL and hold down a diminished FsharpFlatMinorBb# chord/
4. ????
5. Profit. But only if China buys your movie in droves.
Movies are crap now. And yes I'm a cum-smudgeon.
Comments
It's more the Marvel/DC thing... fuck you in the eyes with darkness until you bleed to death. Bloody movies are so dark too. If I wanted to know what it felt like to have glaucoma, I'd shoot myself in the eyeballs with a broken toaster!
Basically coherent or challenging narrative being replaced by 'action' stylee of lots of confusing incoherent CGI visuals plus mahoosive EXPLOSIONS while dialogue is happening.
Plus Tom Hardy "Taboo" type mumbling dialogue FFS.
Oh dear, I'm now officially a grumpy old git (as if no-one knew).
Then watch the first Star Wars.
And then understand why CGI is shit.
Especially if you watch the George Lucas remastered version of the original with the added CGI bits, which are horrifically obvious.
"Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski
"Only two things are infinite - the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
Can't stand CG!I. Maybe a younger generation raised on X-boxes can get something out of it but it's lost on me.
Chistopher Reeve made me believe a man could fly, Adam West didn't punch anyone who didn't get back up again and Frank Oz's hand up Yodas bum was real enough for me.
My feedback thread is here.
Compare the real aircraft in The Battle of Britain with CGI stuff in Pearl Harbour, the difference is laughable.
And the old epics like Spartacus etc with hundreds of extras and massive sets instead of a computer generated scene.
Honestly most films nowadays are just like watching a computer game but then my choice is mainly Film Noir from the '40's where a great story could be told in 90 minutes not this modern overblown tripe that goes on seemingly forever.
Sequel = bigger explosion
Trilogy = biggest explosion
And then there's these bloody amp modelling contraptions...
The mark of good CGI is often that you don't notice it, but there are also films where you are fully aware its all CGI and that's fine too. I don't want everything I watch to look like the real world.
My pet peeve is using CGI when it would be just as easy to use a real world practical solution. CGI to remove an actors moustache is ridiculous, give the man a shave
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"Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski
"Only two things are infinite - the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
The problem is when CGI becomes the film instead of being a small part of the telling of a story.