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eoinzyeoinzy Frets: 128
edited July 2022 in Off Topic
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 16004
    Precis    
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  • AK99AK99 Frets: 1563
    Short version..

    There's a Horse and an Alligator sitting at the bar. Barman walks up and says - "Here lads, wot's wiv'all the long faces then eh ? :)
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30273
    Horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "why the short face?".
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  • munckeemunckee Frets: 12254
    A horse walks into a bar and the barman says “hey why the long face”. thousands of people signed an online petition to get the barman fired for racism. 
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  • KKJaleKKJale Frets: 982
    Two goldfish walk into a bar and the barman says, "Hey, why the long faeces?"
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  • eoinzyeoinzy Frets: 128
    edited July 2022
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  • fastonebazfastonebaz Frets: 4065
    He was hung like a horse though.  So he had that going for him. 
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  • proggyproggy Frets: 5827
    A white horse walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Do you have any whiskey?"
    "Of course" said the barman "I've even got one named after you"
    "What, Charlie" said the horse.
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  • eoinzyeoinzy Frets: 128
    edited July 2022
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280
    It's kind of a long winded joke for a very old punchline.


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  • PhilW1PhilW1 Frets: 941
    ...then he died and some cunt sat on him.
    The End.
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 24208
    I hate you.
    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
    Also chips are "Plant-based" no matter how you cook them.
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  • RandallFlaggRandallFlagg Frets: 13929
    edited March 2021
    man sits on a dead horse in a bar....


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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 2534
    A man walks into a pub with a biscuit tin in one hand and a duck under his other arm and asks the patrons, if I can make this duck dance on this biscuit tin will you buy me a drink? One person comes over and says sure, show me. He places the tin on the bar, puts the duck on the tin and it immediately starts tap dancing! Amazed, the person buys him a double. This goes on for a while with other people coming in and buying him drinks to see the duck tap dance. He’s soon three sheets to the wind and when the pub has died down the landlord asks, just how do you get that duck to tap dance on that tin?

    The man pulls the lid off the tin and blows the candle out.
    Tomorrow will be a good day.
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30273
    Where do you lot find these jokes, archaeological digs?
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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 2534
    Sassafras said:
    Where do you lot find these jokes, archaeological digs?
    If you have a modern PC joke that won’t offend anyone, I’m all ears.  :3
    Tomorrow will be a good day.
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  • scrumhalfscrumhalf Frets: 11262
    A horse goes into a pub and goes up to the bar.

    "Why the long pause?" asks the barman.

    The horse looks at him and says "I think you're in the wrong joke." 
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  • SassafrasSassafras Frets: 30273
    zepp76 said:
    Sassafras said:
    Where do you lot find these jokes, archaeological digs?
    If you have a modern PC joke that won’t offend anyone, I’m all ears.  :3
    Point taken.
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  • PhilW1PhilW1 Frets: 941
    zepp76 said:
    Sassafras said:
    Where do you lot find these jokes, archaeological digs?
    If you have a modern PC joke that won’t offend anyone, I’m all ears.  :3
    Said Noddys mate.
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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 2534
    PhilW1 said:
    zepp76 said:
    Sassafras said:
    Where do you lot find these jokes, archaeological digs?
    If you have a modern PC joke that won’t offend anyone, I’m all ears.  :3
    Said Noddys mate.
    Three people are waiting to go in for a job interview, the first person is called in and has a very good interview. At the end, the boss who has a bit of a complex about his physical deformity asks, before you go, is there anything you notice that’s different about me? The interviewee replies yes, I noticed that you have one ear down on your neck and one near the top of your head. He is asked to leave and the next person is called in, again the interview goes very well, the interviewee has all the right credentials and at the end is asked the same question, he also replies that he noticed the boss had one ear on his neck and one near the top of his head. He’s asked to leave and the last person is called in. The interview didn’t go so well, the boss just didn’t like the cut of his jib and had a bit of an attitude towards him. At the end he still asks the same question, do you notice anything different about me? The interviewee replies yes, you wear contact lenses don’t you. The boss is impressed and asks, how did you know? The interviewee replies, well you wouldn’t wear glasses with ears like that!
    Tomorrow will be a good day.
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