Ignorance is not bliss.

Bucket · April 2015

beed84 said:

CabbageCat said:

I reckon:
You are hiding your disappointment with unjustified anger. If she had said no you would probably find something else to be grumpy about.
She doesn't owe you a reaction. Acting like she does is ruder than her refusal to provide one.
You're right, she doesn't owe me anything, and I don't expect her to. However, I'm venting my annoyance here, not towards her; I never would. Also, answering an appropriate question when someone asks is simple politeness. Also, if she had said no, I'd probably be disappointed but at least I'd know and could get on with other stuff, make other plans etc.

Exactly this.

I find it hard to understand why people don't respond as soon as they see something. Maybe I just over-prioritise replying to messages.

I do understand that it might not just be me that's the issue, it could be other things getting in the way.

Slow repliers suck, basically.

dafuzz · April 2015

You can't just expect someone to respond straight away. By that logic somebody will send a text and then the pair of you will have to send flurries of messages back and forth in a communicative frenzy until one of you dies of exhaustion. And then the other will moan about how rude they are on their forum of choice

Just chill

Emp_Fab · April 2015

beed84 said:

^
Very wise words indeed. I'll let a few days pass, and if I've still not heard anything, I'll give her a ring.

NO! Are you nuts ? - or just a stalker ? If you haven't heard anything it's because she doesn't want to contact you !!

She knows you're interested and want to meet up - you have no reason whatsoever to 'remind her' of the situation by ringing her. You may as well carve her name into your guitar and/or your forehead. The only thing you'll achieve by ringing her is to confirm her belief that you're desperate. ...and nobody likes desperate.

dafuzz · April 2015

Emp_Fab said:

beed84 said:

^
Very wise words indeed. I'll let a few days pass, and if I've still not heard anything, I'll give her a ring.

NO! Are you nuts ? - or just a stalker ? If you haven't heard anything it's because she doesn't want to contact you !!

She knows you're interested and want to meet up - you have no reason whatsoever to 'remind her' of the situation by ringing her. You may as well carve her name into your guitar and/or your forehead. The only thing you'll achieve by ringing her is to confirm her belief that you're desperate. ...and nobody likes desperate.

Bang on. Like it or not Beed you're in damage limitation at this point.

thomasross20 · April 2015

I know a few marriages that have ended as old flames have got in touch on facebook and you can guess the rest ...... in fact that was a story on BBC not long back (some % of divorces is now due to social media carrying's on)! I was on facebook waaaay back, but had enough of it. Glad I'm not on it and don't intend to rejoin ever. Too much pouting on there, too

I used to be the one to reply instantly to all messages but these days I'm often busy so it takes a while. In the OP's case it does sound like she's ignoring him a bit - maybe give it a few days. Then quit facebook and feel relief washing over you. I suspect you'd feel less angry if it were a guy, but you'd still be annoyed to see somebody interacting online when they've not answered a direct question you've sent.

Emp_Fab · April 2015

The thing is, if someone is rude to you by ignoring your communication, what do people who aren't mental do ?

a) Think 'how ignorant... they can fuck off'

b) Phone them in a few days time to ask them again

Focus Beed.... focus..... You can do this...

You want her to think "Why hasn't he contacted me?", not "Oh god, it's him again".

Drew_TNBD · April 2015

[admin edit. - comment deleted]

Iamnobody · April 2015

Drew_fx;591657" said:
admin edit. - quote of above post

Provocative or not mate you are a fucking bell end for posting it.

beed84 · April 2015

Emp_Fab said:

The thing is, if someone is rude to you by ignoring your communication, what do people who aren't mental do ?

a) Think 'how ignorant... they can fuck off'
b) Phone them in a few days time to ask them again

Focus Beed.... focus..... You can do this...

You want her to think "Why hasn't he contacted me?", not "Oh god, it's him again".

Haha thanks Emp. Now that I've slept, I feel like I can.

Just for the record, I'm not pursuing anything romantic with my friend, I was just innocently trying to find out what has happened to our agreed plans. Desperation might be one perception, which I get, but really, I'm not.

Also, my post is more to do with ignorance as a pet hate of mine as opposed to do with anything personal towards her. She's a good friend and I'm sure she'll get in touch soon enough. I just struggle with second guessing, that's all.

Sambostar · April 2015

Why don't you make a voodoo doll.

Emp_Fab · April 2015

beed84 said:
Just for the record, I'm not pursuing anything romantic with my friend

boogieman · April 2015

Just a thought, but maybe she just didn't see the message? If I'm using FB on my mobile, I don't always see messages cos they come up in a separate app.

Deijavoo · April 2015

Drew_fx said:

[admin edit. - comment deleted]

You took the words right out of my mouth there Drew.

beed84 · April 2015

Honestly, Emp, I'm not. If anything does happen then its a pure fluke!

boogieman said:

Just a thought, but maybe she just didn't see the message? If I'm using FB on my mobile, I don't always see messages cos they come up in a separate app.

I guess it's a possibility. I guess I'll just have to wait to find out. In the meantime, back to life...

viz · April 2015

Emp_Fab said:

beed84 said:

^
Very wise words indeed. I'll let a few days pass, and if I've still not heard anything, I'll give her a ring.

You may as well chizzle her name into your guitar

ftfy

beed84 · April 2015

viz said:

Emp_Fab said:

beed84 said:

^
Very wise words indeed. I'll let a few days pass, and if I've still not heard anything, I'll give her a ring.

You may as well chizzle her name into your guitar

ftfy

Drew_TNBD · April 2015

Censorship wankers!

randomhandclaps · April 2015

Has it occurred to you that your friend might in fact be internet phantom (ADMIN EDIT: see here)?

Sassafras · April 2015

Get a great big tattoo of her face on your chest and tear open your shirt when you do eventually come face to face with her.

Girls like that, or so I'm told.

holnrew · April 2015

Aww I missed offence.

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