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Comments
Please find enclosed your invoice for the removal of Mr King
May we also request a further 25% down payment for the Clapton booking.
Regards
H.i.t Man
Honestly! Fancy leaving your guitar at home. Schoolboy error.
Yours etc.
It appears you were lying, in fact, it's now quite clear that you did have a gun.
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Dear Sting
Please fuckoff.
Your message in a bottle is currently number 9999397 in the queue. We care about all our customers and will ensure that someone gets it as soon as possible.
Actually I do have to put the red light on, as I am learning photography and using a full-spectrum light would damage the film.
Yours
Roxanne
I gave your brother a donkey back at school and can confirm that contrary to your pop ditty, he was a right fat cunt
Yours
Bert Shit.
Thanks for ad-libbing "let them know that springtime is coming" during the performance of feed the world at live aid. We can all take comfort in your well timed reminder that hot weather is on the way and I for one am looking forward to baking my balls off in 50c heat with no food or water.
Yours
Skinny Pete
Africa
Thanks for drawing my attention to the obvious lack of signage in our town.
Rest assured that we will be giving all streets a name in due course.
In honour of your contribution to pop music, global peace, and town planning, might we take the liberty of naming the local dump after you?
Yours,
Edward Elbow-Patches,
Traffic and Street Services.
P.s. I wish to point out that jogging and hide and seek are no longer permitted in our town outside specified hours.
Unfortunately you may not. Patrons are not allowed to enjoy cigarettes, pipes, cigars or any other tobacco products while in one of our craft.
Yours sincerely,
I.I. Captain,
Skarloey Boat Hire Ltd.
Dear, Elton John
I have started a go fund me campaign for the fuel for your Rocket.
Please, will use it.
Yours sincerely
Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana x
I prefer the front/ living room,
Regards
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I know someone who works mostly on guitars, but just might be able to modify a phone to suit your sausage fingers.
Pubert Gruntfuttock