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Had to have a chat with a customer today who owes us a lot of money (which to be fair is my job).
He was not happy that I had to chase him for money and his excuse was "I've been working at this shop for over a hundred years"
It may seem like it to him but I assure you he hasn't.
I'm adding that to my list of reasons for non payment.
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"Do you know he's been diagnosed bipolar?"
"What, he's magnetic?"
A strange mix of scientific literacy and ignorance. Such a fine line between clever and stupid.
A few years ago I was covereing a tech services line for the brewrry I work at.
A pub calls us and says he can't get any beer through the lines. I ask a series of questions including "when did you clean your lines", bare in mind this should be done every week - every other at a push if you are vigilant the rest of the time. He says "I can't, the line cleaning system broke". I ask when it broke... "about a year ago".
He then told me he wanted an emergency call, and to be back on sale within 4 hours and got really arsey when i pointed out all the equipment would need to be changed, he needed to learn how to use it and he should stop trying to serve any beer until it was done.
Not as bad as the landlady who insisted she cleaned her lines every week. One of our techs asked her to demonstrate how she did it. She went and feteched a bottle of jif and started wipign the outside of the equipment
Instagram
Him- can I ask you something?
Me - yeah what's up?
Him - do you know what a butt plug is?
Now I've known this guy a good few years and at first I thought he was joking, turned out he wasn't I literally had to draw one on a bit of paper.
Very surreal.
Holnrew once left a butt plug on the kitchen drainer and his girlfriend's dad came over and said, "That looks like a butt plug! Hahahaha!" and Holnrew went quiet and Holnrew's girlfriend's dad went quiet.
I like that story. It's sad in a way but also happy because it didn't happen to me.
Her (looking at the people on the pavement outside): So this dark glass means those people can't see me?
Me: That's right.
Her: But I can see them?
"can I have a toad in the hole without the Yorkshire pudding"
the guy behind the bar looked a little confused and then said
"so you just want three sausages then?"
electric proddy probe machine
My trading feedback thread
Sat with my mum in the hospital yesterday, the old woman in the next bed, who must have been about 80 if she was a day, she had dyed ginger hair which made her look like an orang-utan with alopecia.
Out loud, no attempt to lower the volume at all:-
"Where are all these doctors? I'm an escort, I've got clients waiting, I can't hang around here all day waiting for you lot to tell me there's nothing wrong with me, I've got better things to do. If you don't get a move on, I'm off. Anyway, I can't understand what takes so bloody long, any fool can read a scan, you know."
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
As it turned out, imagine his surprise when I knew exactly what he wanted, and yes, we did have it.
'Ah yes, you want Davidson's Textbook of Medicine, 5th edition, here you are'