Rules for playing live

camf

This. http://somethingyousaid.com/2013/04/25/read-this-before-you-play-music-in-public/

Cirrus

Nah, this is one of those articles that takes a strong stance on something because otherwise there'd be no point writing an article. Don't play a strat? Don't use more than 2 toms? uuurrgghhh....

TheOtherDennis

Sorry, but you can't blame the guitar for the abuse being heaped upon it by "a thousand shitty pub bands." And I don't care if you don't like Clapton - millions don't - you can't 'ban' a guitar just cos he plays it. He plays Gibsons too, you know. Wanna ban them as well?

I don't care what it says on the guitarist's strap either. I'm not there to listen to his strap.

If the drummer is good enough to use more kit than is listed there, good on him. Even if he isn't, it's his kit, not yours. So long as he doesn't tell you what amp to bring, it's his decision, surely?

And if it's 110 in the shade, I don't care what the fashion police think, I'm wearing shorts.

Yeesh, some people really have way too much time on their hands.

siremoon

Memo to Messrs Marvin, Gilmour & Knopfler.  I've worked out where it all went wrong guys ...

:-S

camf

Well it made me laugh... and at one time or anther I've been guilty of all of these crimes.

The23rdman

Seems to me that the article has been written by someone from this book.

PolarityMan

no more than 2 toms...are you fucking high?

Rocker

2. Don’t wear shorts.

Everything must exist within the confines of its proper environment. Pele didn’t perform in jeans; Elvis didn’t perform in fucking shorts. Have some damn respect for your art.

(It should be noted that this rule may be utterly disregarded only by Angus Young and by women with nice legs)

3. Keep your shirt on.

It doesn’t matter if it’s 110 degrees up there and you have the torso of a curiously bronze Norse God, when a musician removes his shirt, he exposes himself as nothing more than a bit of a tool.

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I am inclined to agree with the above quotes and the reference to a bass guitar [needs 4 strings and frets and not look like part of a moose antler (paraphrasing his comment a little).  I agree too that wireless guitar 'connections' are needless for most of us - some might argue that NO connection is better.  But that is for another day.

Thanks to the OP for highlighting this information.  You did a good days work, Sir.

ICBM

The first five are stupid. Even the one about bass guitars, which I happen to agree with for me, but some great music has been played on five/six string basses held at nipple-covering height.

The last five are absolutely bang on though.

ThePrettyDamned

Ooo, it only needed 2 'rules' before it broke out 'women, get yer legs out'.  ¬_¬

Also, with regards to wearing an instrument too high.  If you play lively music, fuck off am I swinging it around my ankles.  I need to be able to go from 16th roots and powerchords to tapping out a riff in a split second.  It's difficult enough doing it sat down... Not every pub band wants to churn out endless punk and classic rock covers.  

Oh, and no way you're allowed to perform with any sense of showmanship or expression.  Jesus, what is it you're doing, trying to entertain people?!

In short, you need to be these guys.  

Because otherwise you're a twat.  

hugbot

Yes, dont play a strat. Play a tele or an offset. How will you ever be cool if you dont play what every other band does these days?

monquixote

5 string Warwick and Strat player. 

If it offends small minded knob heads who write lists then all the better. 

Cirrus

I do agree with the not requesting monitor changes thing. People always look like divas when they do that, even if they're completely reasonable in their request. No matter how bad it sounds to me, and I've played on some shocking stages, I'll try to keep a smile on my face and battle through because the audience have more fun if they think you're having fun.

OilCityPickups

It does raise a few interesting points ...

I think audiences deserve professionalism from a band ... and in my book that goes further than just knowing your material. people listen with their eyes as well as their ears, so personally I always get annoyed with bands that look like they've not made an effort. And yes ... I know some bands cultivate an 'anti image' ... but in my book that must be an obvious choice, not just a result of not being arsed.

A pet hate of mine is singers trying to be 'clever' with audiences between songs. There are very few front men who can really 'talk' to a crowd ... and less is definitely more on that score. I suppose it comes under the 'hello Aldershot' rule ... but hearing some numpty tell me which Stones album their next cover is off of, or asking a bunch of complete strangers how they're doing boils my blood Just get on with it!

octatonic

1. Rock out. 

2. Preferably with cock out.

mike_l

I do agree on the taking off shirt thing.

Especially me. Due to a big fuck-off scar.....

bobblehat

I was with him all the way to No.10 

Everyone needs a shred face! Your not trying hard enough if you ain't got one.

digitalscream

I actually disagree with all those rules, except possibly the Aldershot one (mostly because I doubt I'll ever play in Aldershot).

There are good reasons (okay, some are just reasons) for doing all those things. I can imagine watching this guy's band is a pretty boring and/or soul-sucking experience.

BenSirAmos

I didn't roll on the floor laughing but as a light-hearted bit of content the article didn't offend me as much as some of you miseryguts.

ESBlonde

If you need to be told the rules, are you ready for the Dog and Duck yet?

Stick to the youth club scene and private parties for 16 Year olds.

ICBM

bobblehat said:

I was with him all the way to No.10 

Everyone needs a shred face! Your not trying hard enough if you ain't got one.

I *especially* agree with him on that one.

"Guitar face" actually puts me off listening to players who do it. Worse even than foot-on-the-monitor rock wankery. (Although that's close.)