Terrible Meal Out

gubble

I thought I'd share my recent experience of a meal out, so I can get it off my chest & hopefully provide a bit of humour. Apologies in advance for the long post.

Long story cut short Mrs Gubble was invited through her work for a free meal at a local Tandori which is under  new management. We booked and went on Sunday evening.

Upon arrival we were advised it's not a free meal but a pay what you think it's worth. No issue as even if it was free I'd have paid something even if just as a generous tip.

So we sit down and handed a couple of menus. All the usual suspects are on the menu and things are looking good. Guy comes to take the drinks orders, then back to take food orders. At the point we are told that we cannot have anything on the menu and are handed a piece of paper with what's actually on offer - nothing on the actual menu was on offer that night. The piece of paper gives a starter, a choice of two curries (of which I've never heard of before) and a couple of side dishes. We order the starter, one of each of the curries and the side dishes.

Starter arrives. A meat samosa and an onion bahji. Clearly not home made and very much like the ones you get from the cash and carry in bulk.

Main course time. Mrs Gubble's curry can only be described as half a chicken breast (as one piece not diced) in an Uncle Ben's Korma sauce that's been heated up and cooled down a few times so it's very much like a congealed gloop. It was garnished with two glacier cherries(very strange) and (I'm being totally serious here) a Yorkshire Pudding !  Now having spent four years at uni in Bradford I've been to more than my fair share of random curry houses and not once have I ever seen a Yorkshire pudding accompanying a curry. It was a frozen reheated aunt Bessie type one rather than home made.

My curry was also very bizarre, again a single chunk of chicken but with vegetables a tomatoes based sauce and lots of chillies. It can best described as an Italian chicken based dish with many chilies and of course a Yorkshire pudding.

Neither curry tasted good - they were terrible and in the case of Mrs Gubble's main meal I encouraged her not to eat it as it looked worryingly unsafe.

The side dishes were meant to be Bombay Potatoes and Cauliflower Cheese (again why?). I cannot comment on these as they didn't arrive.

Upon leaving I was asked how much I felt I should pay and they looked genuinely shocked when I said zero as it was the worst meal I've ever eaten out.

As we were out the door I could hear one guy saying "I've come out for a curry, you've given me a menu, told me I cannot order anything from it and now you're telling me I can't have a popadom or a naan bread?"

RandallFlagg

so you didn't stay for dessert?

I hear it's dry Weetabix with a gherkin on top.

RocknRollDave

!! Truly bizarre!

Yorkshire pudding with a curry....!

In these days of Tripadvisor et al, you have to pull out all the stops to keep customers happy, you can't afford a whole evening of unhappy customers!

RandallFlagg

RandallFlagg

In the above pic, note that the image is the "serving suggestion"

From that, I must glean that Iceland are recommending that your breach the sidewall of said Yorkshire pud and decant the curry onto a pile of freshly cooked rice and then eat, discarding the lurid batter pudding to the bin.

Fretwired

Sounds like the chef and his team quit ..

Ravenous

gubble said:

Long story cut short Mrs Gubble was invited through her work for a free meal at a local Tandori which is under  new management. We booked and went on Sunday evening.

I think reporting back to Mrs Gubble's work is a good idea!

I suppose there might be the odd hiccup with any new management, but it sounds a tad catastrophic...

Actually I think you should have asked them for payment, as food tasting is a challenging profession!

Guitar_Slinger

gubble said:

Terrible Meal Out

I thought that was the programme on ITV2 after Take Me Out, where the blokes who didn't get any when they got themselves "a dirt" tried to cop off with the birds who looked OK from 25 yards under flashing lights, but not close-up in a bikini.  

The Turkish version of Take Me Out is called "No larkey, no larty."

not_the_dj

A live action remake of the Fawlty Towers Waldorf Salad episode.

Dominic

they needed a visit from Michael Winner.............sadly no longer possible RIP

Legionreturns

Guitar_Slinger said:... birds who looked OK from 25 yards under flashing lights, but not close-up in a bikini.  

Good from far, but far from good? 

Body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch? 

Butter face? 

stickyfiddle

To be fair, I've eaten at several Pakistani-run places that put glacé cherries in their pilau rice. 

The rest... I got nothing!

octatonic

I'm awfully sorry but we are all out of Waldorfs.

chillidoggy

Cherries? Jeez, I've eaten more than my fair share of curries, but I've never known that one.

gubble

chillidoggy said:

Cherries? Jeez, I've eaten more than my fair share of curries, but I've never known that one.

Not just any old cherry - Glacier Cherries, those sugary ones you get in a jar that go on cocktails and cakes. On top of a 'korma' with a Yorkshire pudding on the side.

I wish I'd taken photos now

Guitar_Slinger

Maybe they ordered 200 frozen curries using a smartphone and autocorrect changed it to cherries? 

Sporky

gubble said:

chillidoggy said:

Cherries? Jeez, I've eaten more than my fair share of curries, but I've never known that one.

Not just any old cherry - Glacier Cherries, those sugary ones you get in a jar that go on cocktails and cakes. On top of a 'korma' with a Yorkshire pudding on the side.

I wish I'd taken photos now

I thought Glacier cherries were usually frozen.

BRISTOL86

We were in hospitality at Chepstow Races on Friday night and were invited to dollop either cream or strawberry cream (already set out in jugs) onto our cheesecake. 

One was mayonnaise and the other was thousand island dressing. Proper Fawlty Towers stuff. 

Guitar_Slinger

^ ^ lol

What's milder than a Korma?  Chicken Custard!

mellowsun

Sounds terrible, I bet that Iceland curry in a Yorkshire pud would have been a better choice.

Maybe the place is a front for something else - you perhaps were lucky to get away.

57Deluxe

Sounds like they had a mass jerk-off in the kitchen into yours - Always best never to antagonise the