Anyone else in the throes of VD?

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  • no burd so ive treated myself to another PRS  ;) happy valentines me!

    It'll never last! 

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  • amarok1971amarok1971 Frets: 276
    no burd so ive treated myself to another PRS  ;) happy valentines me!

    It'll never last! 
    it'll be the best sex its ever had tho :kissing_blush: 
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  • LuttiSLuttiS Frets: 1004
    Sat on the sofa with Mrs.L last week watching some tv.. she turns to me and says, "Do you mind if i don't get you a present for valentines day?" 

    My mind leaps to analyse the statement, testing for traps, loopholes and meaning.

    i say "ok"


    This morning, i give wifey with card, flowers, bit of choc and a book (Billy Corgan Poetry - who's a thought? :) )

    I'm sat at work now, wondering. 
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  • JAYJOJAYJO Frets: 809
    LuttiS said:
    Sat on the sofa with Mrs.L last week watching some tv.. she turns to me and says, "Do you mind if i don't get you a present for valentines day?" 

    My mind leaps to analyse the statement, testing for traps, loopholes and meaning.

    i say "ok"


    This morning, i give wifey with card, flowers, bit of choc and a book (Billy Corgan Poetry - who's a thought? :) )

    I'm sat at work now, wondering. 
    Its all over mate. saddle up and get outa there!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 16961
    To all those without a girlfriend or wife consider this ..




    But look on the brightside - you can probably afford to buy more gear and beer .. :-)

    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • RandallFlaggRandallFlagg Frets: 5575
    edited February 14

    I left a card on the dining room table this morning as I left for work.. On the front is says "To my perfect wife..."

    I'm sure she will appreciate the irony. 

    "...I can hear you breathing down the hall"
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  • Tell her don't get in a stew about it
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 3701
    ..........better known as "Overpriced Flowers Day"
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 8992
    edited February 14
    Dominic said:
    ..........better known as "Overpriced silly card, tat, and Flowers Day"
    fixed ;)
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 13744
    I'm pretty sure it's best known as Valentine's Day.
    Be your own evil twin. 
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  • As a medical man, I rather assumed that the Thread Title was referencing socially acquired diseases!?!
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  • FretwiredFretwired Frets: 16961
    Apparently after the #MeToo campaign sending a valentine card to a woman at work could be construed as sexual harassment.


    I could be in trouble for sending a car to our receptionist .. inside ..

    Roses are red
    violets are blue
    my trousers are tight
    just thinking of you!

    Am I in trouble .. :-)

    https://www.thebalance.com/should-i-give-coworkers-valentine-cards-and-gifts-3515602

    My pump-action drivel gun is smoking hot today!
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  • stevebrumstevebrum Frets: 4178
    I got my Mrs the same as last year but in a different colour...

    Fuck all comes in many different shades...

    She reciprocated.

    We both agree VD is nonsense...
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  • WezVWezV Frets: 9079
    AlexC said:
    Just to add a touch of sick-making genuine soppiness to the thread - VD is also our wedding anniversary. My idea. Mostly so I never forgot it. 12 years ago today we hired a castle in the Highlands for a very long, drunken weekend. In. Strange twist we also ended up on stage playing - Mrs C in her wedding dress with a guitar belting it out. Ha!
    My in laws got married on Valentine’s Day.   

    This is clearly a terrible idea as it means our babysitters are always busy.  Inconsiderate gits ;)
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  • BRISTOL86BRISTOL86 Frets: 1435
    Seems like this morning was the highlight of my day....quick copy and paste of the message I just sent to my brother :lol: 

    So. Hope your valentines night is going nicely. Here’s a quick summary of ours (and it’s only 7 o clock). We’ve already decided at this point to go to Keynsham and we have a table booked at a nice bar for 8.  

    Try to get Uber. Fail to get Uber. Try to call taxi instead. No taxi companies answer the phones. 

    Decide to get bus. Drive to the bus stop as it’s pissing rain and then realise we have no money. 

    Go to shop with cashpoint. 

    Cashpoint out of service. Say ‘fuck this’ and call taxi again, finally getting through. Get home and sit in the cold car on the drive until the taxi arrives, as we can’t bear to go back in the house and listen to the cat’s incessant whining. 

    Taxi shows up. What can only be described as a geriatric rasta, driving a car decked out head to toe in animal print faux fur, turns up, and drives to Keynsham at an average speed of around 4mph. All the while, playing three reggae songs from his USB stick (but he skips two of them each time as they keep getting stuck and skipping, so it’s basically one song on repeat). 

    Then we finally get into the pub that’s always looked really nice when we’ve driven past, only to find that it reeks of piss and you get a free stabbing with every pint. 

    Ah, romance. 
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  • richardhomerrichardhomer Frets: 18866
    Being single, I got fuck all.

    On a more positive note, that’s how much it’s cost me....
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 3701
    Fretwired said:
    Apparently after the #MeToo campaign sending a valentine card to a woman at work could be construed as sexual harassment.


    I could be in trouble for sending a car to our receptionist .. inside ..

    Roses are red
    violets are blue
    my trousers are tight
    just thinking of you!

    Am I in trouble .. :-)

    https://www.thebalance.com/should-i-give-coworkers-valentine-cards-and-gifts-3515602

    Unless the trousers are tight because you simply have a fat arse as a result of her cooking !
     Seriously,what a sad article that link is .........as soon as the personality bypass is made a compulsory operation the sooner we can all become proper office automatons ......why not just be neutered and microchipped too.
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  • menamestommenamestom Frets: 2274

    Didn’t get my wife anything, been in A&E all day after a few strange ‘episodes’ over the last few days.  Been hooked up to machines and prodded and poked.  Looks like nothing too serious, which is a great present in itself and she was naturally glad to have me back home, but did make the point that I could plan better, as she gave me a nice shirt and a card.  
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  • Didn’t get my wife anything, been in A&E all day after a few strange ‘episodes’ over the last few days.  Been hooked up to machines and prodded and poked.  Looks like nothing too serious, which is a great present in itself and she was naturally glad to have me back home, but did make the point that I could plan better, as she gave me a nice shirt and a card.  
    TL:DR - spent the day in bed...got gift, sent none. 

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  • RobDaviesRobDavies Frets: 1791
    I got a card from my missus that said "I had to kiss a lot of frogs before finally meeting my Prince Charming". 

    Which, reading between the lines, implies that she was a bit of a slag before she met me. 
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  • BRISTOL86BRISTOL86 Frets: 1435
    RobDavies said:
    I got a card from my missus that said "I had to kiss a lot of frogs before finally meeting my Prince Charming". 

    Which, reading between the lines, implies that she was a bit of a slag before she met me. 
    Or a less than subtle way of telling you she’s found someone else?
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  • RobDaviesRobDavies Frets: 1791
    BRISTOL86 said:
    RobDavies said:
    I got a card from my missus that said "I had to kiss a lot of frogs before finally meeting my Prince Charming". 

    Which, reading between the lines, implies that she was a bit of a slag before she met me. 
    Or a less than subtle way of telling you she’s found someone else?

    Hopefully.
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 3966
    Champers, Chinese, and chocolate here - three of the greatest foodstuffs known to mankind all in one big VD hit!
    It might look like I'm listening to you, but in my head I'm playing my guitar.
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 3966
    This year I bought her some sexy underwear so it's for her but more for me (not me wearing it obviously) 
    Methinks he doth protest too much...
    It might look like I'm listening to you, but in my head I'm playing my guitar.
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 13744
    Fretwired said:
    Apparently after the #MeToo campaign sending a valentine card to a woman at work could be construed as sexual harassment.
    I thought that "don't poop where you eat" was already well enough established to render such advice redundant?
    Be your own evil twin. 
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  • HAL9000 said:
    This year I bought her some sexy underwear so it's for her but more for me (not me wearing it obviously) 
    Methinks he doth protest too much...
    When he said "I wanna get in your knickers" she didn't realise he meant it literally

    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

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  • slackerslacker Frets: 947
    I got all Mrs S wanted (wine, chocolate, dinner cooked by someone other than myself) and afterwards left her alone in front of Coronation Street. Result. 

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  • Flink_PoydFlink_Poyd Frets: 2355
    HAL9000 said:
    This year I bought her some sexy underwear so it's for her but more for me (not me wearing it obviously) 
    Methinks he doth protest too much...
    HAL9000 said:
    This year I bought her some sexy underwear so it's for her but more for me (not me wearing it obviously) 
    Methinks he doth protest too much...
    When he said "I wanna get in your knickers" she didn't realise he meant it literally
    I'll PM you both a pic
    Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.....


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  • SeshSesh Frets: 866
    Me and the wife both laid low with colds. The idea of a romantic home cooked or restaurant meal didn't appeal. Convenient sustenance was what we needed. In the end we found ourselves wandering around Sainsbury's like zombies.
    "Is there anything sadder than buying two ready meals on valentine's Day?" we thought.
    Yes, buying only one ready meal on valentine's Day.
    Is there anything sadder than buying one ready meal?
    Yes, that woman over there buying batteries.
    Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a guitar a little.
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