How on earth do you meet people these days?!

west

This was my pof profile some  years back , i did actually get one reply amazingly .....

misanthropic alchoholic austere male late forties
seeks malevolent assignation
with a view to make his lasting existance pergatory
in exchange for neglidgable sexual services
at  inaudinant expenditure and sporadic  misery.

must like Dogs ....

Bucket

Bygone_Tones said:

skunkwerx said:

I don’t have a social circle, or any mates bar 1 for that matter..

My work sucks..

This is your problem. Sort the rest of your life out first and look for a relationship last. Not the other way around.

Instead of thinking about what you can get, think about what you can offer.

Looks are way less important to girls than they are to guys (thankfully). So even if you use online dating, very few girls are going to be interested if you have no social life, no interests of your own, and are not on a career path that you are passionate about, have no ambitions etc. Thats the stuff that's attractive to women.

Try and do at least one social activity per week, take up something new maybe. Find a better job that you do like and can talk about with passion, or at least have a career in the pipeline that you are working towards getting.

"Where to meet girls" is a silly question, they are everywhere, billions of them, you just need the courage to go talk to them.

Fwiw being in a bar with a mate who is a girl will work in your favour a lot more than being with other guys, and the more attractive she is, the better.

Wise words.

Snags

I have no clue. I lucked out in my early 20s and the thought of Mrs Snags somehow not being around and me being back on the dating scene fills me with horror (after the initial self-delusion about loads of hot young women wanting a not-rich boring middle-aged bloke wears off).

Observing friends of both sexes who've been in the long-term single place, though, I'd say the trick is to get involved in social activities that you will enjoy for themselves. Don't go looking for a partner, just go to meet people and share a mutual interest/pleasure. You'll gel with the group better, end up with some friends and "a life" (whatever one of those is) and you will increase your chances of stumbling on a partner.

I also have chums who have successfully done the internet dating thing, although all with some false starts. And I have other chums who haven't partnered up at all (although would like to); the trick is to focus on doing stuff that will get you some happiness/value out of life regardless, and not pin everything on meeting A N Other.

But that's easy for me to say; tomorrow's my 23rd anniversary, and I DHAFC about meeting people romantically anymore. I do know that being in a long term relationship isn't all perfume and roses, though (but I'm still glad I am, in case Mrs Snags sees this!).

Heartfeltdawn

You're asking how to meet women on a forum with a near-perfect sausage count. 

skunkwerx said:

So I took to the online realms.. fuck me!
Tinder, pof, bumble, that other one etc.. 
I’ll swipe anything and everything just to see who matches... 

3. In 4 months. 3!!! 
Of those 3, one actually talked. She talked just enough for me to know I never wanted to talk to her again. 

Seems like a ridiculous way of meeting someone genuine anyway.. its like ‘rate my face, yes or no’. Im bald with a beard and a nose ring.. so not exactly most girls cuppa. 

Then don't do it. The swipe face stuff is moronic. POF is incredibly scary single mum tastic. OKCupid is the only one I've actually liked using and has success on because you can actually be who you want to be on there. When it comes to dating, folk get rejected if they don't like writing. I've made some awesome friends and had some fine entanglements with OKC so it's the winner for me. 

With Tinder and the like, people meet up too quickly. Avoid people who say "I don't like waiting, I prefer to meet". This is fucked to my mind. You know nothing about a person other than how they may look and yet you're going out somewhere with them. Blah. 

Give me the freaks who like English and obsessions and smutty behaviour  

goldtop

http://www.meetup.org

Find local groups that are interesting to you and (somehow) find the time to get involved. If you are interested in the subject, you will be interesting - on at least some level - to some of the others in the group. Interested and enthusiastic people are more appealling in general. Develop friends there (M & F), and widen your social circles.

As someone said above, there are certain interests/subjects where the M:F ratio is better. I did stained glass evening classes a few years ago and it was two guys and about 9 women. If only I had been single, etc. Might be a bit transparent/desperate if you chose a subject you had no interest in though! (If I was doing it now, I'd do an Italian cooking course.)

If your retail hours really are so limiting of your free time and happiness, you know what you've got to do.

Good luck!

(Ms Goldtop and the last few GFs have been found through online dating. So it did work for me, but it's tedious, soul-destroying and if you're not cynical when you start, you will be after a month or two. If you do go for online dating, first create a fake female profile and just browse the blokes - make mental notes of the most appealling (profiles and types of photos) and use those as a guide for creating your own.)

Emp_Fab

I used to have the same problem then one day I had a motorbike crash and ended up with a below-the-knee cast and crutches.  The transformation was astounding - honestly.  I went from being invisible to a gold-star fanny magnet overnight.
I went out with my mates loads of times and was continually approached by women.  It was such a turnaround that I seriously considered starting an inflatable fake plaster cast and crutch rental business.

DiscoStu

Alnico said:

You have a guitar!
This is exactly how guitars work

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KxpDwbXbCY4/UaDA6YB-C_I/AAAAAAAAEh8/XNtCUgDMaMc/s1600/4188.jpg

JackieB33

Mate, 

You might not be doing much dating. But when was the last time you did any arguing? 

I kind of envy you.  

57Deluxe

guitarfishbay said:

Join some clubs and just chat to people, be yourself and make some friends. Either you meet someone, or eventually you’ll meet someone through a new friend you’ve made. It’s not something you can rush IMO, and it’s nice having more friends 

If I had a £1 for every time that been chirped at me...!

Reality is - the girls you want to meet don't go to Am-dram and choir and flower arranging, car maintenance, woodwork or Ramblers...

VimFuego

I subscribe to the theory of Jay and Silent Bob from Dogma and hang around outside family planning clinics.

chillidoggy

Emp_Fab said:

I used to have the same problem then one day I had a motorbike crash and ended up with a below-the-knee cast and crutches.  The transformation was astounding - honestly.  I went from being invisible to a gold-star fanny magnet overnight.
I went out with my mates loads of times and was continually approached by women.  It was such a turnaround that I seriously considered starting an inflatable fake plaster cast and crutch rental business.

Bloody hell, that’s exactly what happened to my mate when he fell off his bike! Came off it round the country lanes, and ended up in a field.

He went from having mediocre success with girls, to virtually having to beat them off with one of his crutches, it was unbelievable. Never even had to make a move, they just kept chatting him up. It worked so well, that even after he had the cast taken off and could walk normally, he use walk into the boozer affecting a limp and using a walking stick. Jammy bastard still scored loads of times.

Not that I’d advocate having a bike or any other accident just to get laid but as far as the female sympathy vote went, it was a winner, for him at least.

He did fall off his bike again a while later, but was uninjured, and moaned about the fact.

digitalscream

@rocktron - I deleted those copy-pastes of yours because there's malware and lots of NSFW images in the links. Please be more careful next time, eh?

guitarfishbay

57Deluxe said:

guitarfishbay said:

Join some clubs and just chat to people, be yourself and make some friends. Either you meet someone, or eventually you’ll meet someone through a new friend you’ve made. It’s not something you can rush IMO, and it’s nice having more friends 

If I had a £1 for every time that been chirped at me...!

Reality is - the girls you want to meet don't go to Am-dram and choir and flower arranging, car maintenance, woodwork or Ramblers...

That’s your experience not mine. It depends where you live but if you’re in a big city there are loads of women you can meet, at all ages.

I met my girlfriend through a Samba School we both performed in. 

She’s currently enrolled in a weilding course, and also recently got her own workshop where she’s started making wire frames for costumes.

Many of her friends are musical or practically minded women who gig or are involved in making all kinds of stuff (one of her lines of employment is making giant puppets).

I’ve met previous girlfriends through playing sports. 

One thing I learned from a previous failed relationship is I can’t be with a partner who doesn’t have their own hobbies and interests. It’s nice to share some hobbies, but it’s not essential to have the exact same ones. I prefer being with someone who will take positive actions towards enjoying life, you do find those types at clubs and at exercise classes, it’s not a myth.

Be sociable, make friends and if you meet someone where there’s a mutual attraction then great, if not just enjoy your free time until you do. 

Iamnobody

Fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve been put the game for nearly 20 years but I was thinking about this the other night - what would I do!

I think online dating is just an additional stream but not essential. It probably wouldn’t be for me...

As far as I can tell, people still go to pubs and clubs. People still meet at work and sports/hobby clubs and through mutual acquaintances.

I’ve heard of singles clubs as well - not necessarily the best place to meet a potential partner but the days and nights out get you socialising in different places with different people.

If all else fails buy a Thai bride.

goldtop

57Deluxe said:

guitarfishbay said:

Join some clubs and just chat to people, be yourself and make some friends. Either you meet someone, or eventually you’ll meet someone through a new friend you’ve made. It’s not something you can rush IMO, and it’s nice having more friends 

If I had a £1 for every time that been chirped at me...!

Reality is - the girls you want to meet don't go to Am-dram and choir and flower arranging, car maintenance, woodwork or Ramblers...

In a similar thread on another forum, a woman has most likely posted "Reality is - the guys you want to meet don't hang out in online forums for guitars, cars, sci-fi, etc". Are we all like Comic Book Guy?

As I and guitarfishbay said, you join something that you are interested in. Even if you fancy no-one there, you still get to widen your social circle - they all have friends.

randella

I was walking around the school field one lunchtime nearly three decades ago when I saw a mate of mine impressing some girls we knew by playing ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ to them on some nasty old Spanish thing he’d likely stolen from the music room.

I went home that night, picked up the old man’s D-35, dug out the Dylan songbook and set to work.

Now this hobby of mine has had me gripped for years. I’m told I’m quite good at it. It’s recently taken me on a mini-tour to France, made me some fantastic friends, and cost me a fucking small fortune spent in weird, smelly shops with carpets held down by gaffa tape. 

One thing it hasn’t done in the intervening 28 years is impress a woman enough for her to want to take her clothes off in my vicinity. 

To that end I’d say you’re better off with the evening classes.

mart

randella said:

I was walking around the school field one lunchtime nearly three decades ago when I saw a mate of mine impressing some girls we knew by playing ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ .... 

One thing it hasn’t done in the intervening 28 years is impress a woman enough for her to want to take her clothes off in my vicinity. 
...

Have you tried playing something other than Knocking on Heaven’s door?

Flink_Poyd

I find carrying a shitty stick around helps, comes in handy every time I go down the co-op. 

It's not something I've had to worry about for close to 20 years and didn't particularly worry about it before that. I used to work nights so holding down a relationship was pretty much impossible. I decided after 2 years I was sick of it so packed everything up sold the house and went travelling where I met Mrs Wifey. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't I'd still be single as I'm crap at talking to,women. 

 Sometimes when you're looking for something you never find it, other times stuff just slaps you in the face. Not really sure what I'm trying to say here other than I believe in fate having a big part in it. 

randella

mart said:

randella said:

I was walking around the school field one lunchtime nearly three decades ago when I saw a mate of mine impressing some girls we knew by playing ‘Knocking on Heaven’s Door’ .... 

One thing it hasn’t done in the intervening 28 years is impress a woman enough for her to want to take her clothes off in my vicinity. 
...

Have you tried playing something other than Knocking on Heaven’s door?

Bastard. That’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years. 

I thought playing it on a Les Paul would do it, but apparently it only works for Slash. 

randella

Emp_Fab said:

I think you should write some poetry...  Women are suckers for poetry.

Back in my dating days I had quite a lot of success with this one....

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I've got a knife
Get in the van.

I missed this first time around. Genuine lol.