5th Birthday Jam and Gig Reaction, Photos and Videos

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  • and @Bridgehouse of course
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  • I'm just uploading these raw because I ain't got time to make them look pretty.

    Here's Boulevard Of Broken Dreams featuring @snags, @Bridgehouse, @drummermatt, and a brilliant tremolo thing from @McToot ;


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  • AlnicoAlnico Frets: 4221
    sticker said:
    My photos and vids are finally on the one drive ! 
    Great vids of @Alnico doing his thing! Awesome!
    I'm lost for words...

    "Sorry" is the only one I can find!
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  • This is a good one, Zombie with @Legionreturns @vasselmeyer @drummermatt ;


    Ha! I own 66.66% of the guitars in that clip!

    TBH I don't even remember doing that one.
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  • So here have the finale.

    Unadulterated and raw in tooth and claw.

    Comfortably Numb followed by Ace Of Spades.

    Featuring the very talented @Snags @CustomPedalBoards @Bridgehouse @drummermatt @Modellista @Alnico @markblagdon @Sasquatch_Bob ;

    20 minutes of awesome.


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  • AlnicoAlnico Frets: 4221
    edited September 13
    I can't play for shit,

    Time I admitted that.
    Sorry for that car crash, I really sholdn't be here anymore.
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  • SnagsSnags Frets: 486
    @Alnico I wish I couldn't play for shit the way you can't pay for shit.

    If you're having a down day, trust in the judgement of others -  everyone there thoroughly enjoyed your stuff.


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  • darthed1981darthed1981 Frets: 2121
    edited September 13
    Snags said:
    @Alnico I wish I couldn't play for shit the way you can't pay for shit.

    If you're having a down day, trust in the judgement of others -  everyone there thoroughly enjoyed your stuff.


    Yeah this @Alnico you hold yourself to a high standard and that's admirable but don't beat yourself up.

    It's a gig, it's about the punters and they loved it, and we all left with smiles as musicians, THAT is a success.

    If there was anything you technically weren't happy with, then there are the two most important words in the English language to remember... "next time" ...

    Which we are all looking forward to :)

    Warning: this post may contain overtly affectionate references to Mary Spender
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  • darthed1981darthed1981 Frets: 2121
    edited September 13
    @Legionreturns are the recordings still hiding in a secure location?!?! :)
    Warning: this post may contain overtly affectionate references to Mary Spender
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  • pmbombpmbomb Frets: 399
    Snags said:
    @Alnico I wish I couldn't play for shit the way you can't pay for shit.

    If you're having a down day, trust in the judgement of others -  everyone there thoroughly enjoyed your stuff.



    I did - and that's the measure I use on myself.

    Don't be so hard on yourself our friend.


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  • I've taken the video down, possibly temporarily, while we try and talk @Alnico round.

    I did wonder why you said "I'm sorry" after the song - you obviously hold yourself to a very high standard.  As you can tell I was loving your work at the event, so were the crowd.  Surely that counts for a lot more than the fickle voice of self-doubt?

    We're all in the same boat of "should have practised more".  It doesn't matter.  We all have stuff going on in our lives which means we're not as good players as we should be.

    Be kind to yourself.  You said you'd hardly played for three years - tell yourself well done for getting up and back to it.  Nobody is judging anyone here, we're just in it for a good time.  This is a starting point to get where you want to be.

    We all want to be better at what we do, that's why we get together and try and push ourselves outside our comfort zone.  That's what you did, and the world's a better place for it.

    You're on the verge of a decent breakthrough, making the music work for you again.  Don't lose heart now!
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  • LuttiSLuttiS Frets: 1004
    @Alnico from the whole weekend, Mrs L only received one snippet of video from me - that was of the comfy solo. Mrs. L approved. 
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  • Alnico said:
    I can't play for shit,

    Time I admitted that.
    Sorry for that car crash, I really sholdn't be here anymore.
    @alnico - I saw your more detailed post before you took it down and put this (but didn’t have chance to respond then). It sounds like you are/have been in a dark place emotionally and mentally. Please get some professional help and talk to your friends on here and in real life. Your health matters more than playing guitar.
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  • McTootMcToot Frets: 1063
    @Alnico ; - in the spirit of cheering you up a bit...



    Chin up dude and keep rocking! 

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder


    My trading feedback  - I'm a good egg  ;) 

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  • AlnicoAlnico Frets: 4221
    I've logged back in to reply to PM from Tony and Pete which were very kind and I couldn't ignore.

    Matt - Thanks for yours too.

    On Wednesday night when I saw what was a Car Crash of a performance from me, I almost ended my own life.

    I don't really care about anyone else's opinion on this, that's how it hit me and that's mostly because I'm barely 4 weeks into becoming sober after a drug dependency that's lasted most of my adult life. That's all my own fault, no one else's.

    I appreciate the kind comments about my playing but you're just wrong, it was a fucking car crash and until I can bear to hear and see myself play to a standard I call "Good", I can't put myself through this anymore.
    If my playing was better than some others then I appreciate your kind words but I can't live with myself playing like that, much less being on video, in public and online, playing that way.

    If the standard I hold myself to is higher than others and seems extreme, please remember, I'm not you!

    That's what threw me over the edge and I live right next to the Anglican Cathedral so, rightly or wrongly it almost turned into that,...literally.

    The fault lies with me, it's my mental health that's misfiring and it's all my own doing so it's down to me to fix it.
    The only way I *can* fix this is to go away and hang my head in utter shame while I find something within me that can play and look in the mirror.

     I would personally appreciate it if those videos never see the light of day ever again but I'll be careful not to be accusatory here and make it clear that my reaction to them was my own doing and is not anyone else's responsibility. My weak state of mind and frankly crushed mental health is the result of lots of different factors, compounded by a brutal period of detox which I'm in the hardest part of right now- 4 weeks sober this Weekend.
    At the Jam session, I was stoned and it shows clearly. Drugs are bad for you in many ways.

    I've logged in to reply to some kind messages and to explain myself here.
    I've been 100% honest and not hidden anything through respect for the people involved here. All I ask of everyone is to allow me the space I need to deal with my own feelings my way.
    My way isn't your way and you might not understand it but the only thing that really matters is that I understand it and I can work with it.

    I've agreed with Tony that I'll keep my membership here with TFB open and see what the future holds.
    In the meantime, one of you is helping me with practice in a constructive way and on a weekly basis, I'll be submitting videos of my playing in private to him for him to critique and help me improve.
    I'm also talking to someone else about how I feel, so please don't think I'm doing nothing about this, far from it.

      @McToot ...
    Thank you and I tell you what,...when I can play something that deserves that Jackson, I'll pop down and see you to collect it and we can enjoy the whole experience.

    Thanks for all of your understanding if you can.

    Mark.

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  • McTootMcToot Frets: 1063
    @Alnico ; you take the time you need to get yourself in a better place and space. We'll still be here and we'll still want to engage with you in whatever way makes you happiest. 

    Take care chap. 

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder


    My trading feedback  - I'm a good egg  ;) 

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  • McToot said:
    @Alnico ; you take the time you need to get yourself in a better place and space. We'll still be here and we'll still want to engage with you in whatever way makes you happiest. 

    Take care chap. 
    Seconded.
    Warning: this post may contain overtly affectionate references to Mary Spender
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  • McToot said:
    @Alnico ; you take the time you need to get yourself in a better place and space. We'll still be here and we'll still want to engage with you in whatever way makes you happiest. 

    Take care chap. 
    Thirded. Look after yourself man. :)
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  • SnagsSnags Frets: 486
    Mark, do what you need to in order to get/stay well. Just know that you're valued here, and I'm sure we're all rooting for you.
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  • LuttiSLuttiS Frets: 1004
    Not really much to add other than to second/third/fourth what everyone else has said, we're here for you, and do what you need to do to get to where you need to be. 
     You had some fantastic goals before as Jamfather which you seemed really excited about, and your enthusiasm for guitar is really infectious so i hope to see you around soon. 
    All the best.
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  • @Alnico You know we're here when you feel up to it, mate. Best wishes.
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  • fandangofandango Frets: 1109
    @Alnico - I'll add my best wishes too. Thank you for your kind comments to me at the Sasquatch gig. 


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  • richardhomerrichardhomer Frets: 18888
    edited September 15
    @Alnico - I’ve not seen the video - so I’m in no position to argue with your perception of it - but I’m sorry this has caused you so much distress. It sounds like you’re winning with getting straight - you deserve credit for recognising and dealing with the issue - but I can imagine it’s tough. 

    I really want to say, mate - you’re a massively popular member on here - just a quick scan through everyone’s comments on this thread demonstrates that. It sounds like you need to try to hold yourself in similar regard as everyone on here so obviously does.

    Wishing you all the very best from Manchester
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  • markblagdonmarkblagdon Frets: 741
    @Legionreturns - are you going to release the soundcloud files to the public, so we can download them? Cheers.
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 15719
    @Legionreturns - are you going to release the soundcloud files to the public, so we can download them? Cheers.
    Needs everyone to give their approval in the private thread :)
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  • markblagdonmarkblagdon Frets: 741
    @Legionreturns - are you going to release the soundcloud files to the public, so we can download them? Cheers.
    Needs everyone to give their approval in the private thread :)

    who are we still waiting to hear from then? Will see in that thread.
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