Sometimes we just overthink things when diagnosing a problem...

Philtre

Playing my Les Paul, I hit an A major power chord and let that glorious over-driven goodness fade away....

...and as the chord fades away the notes start to oscillate in amplitude slightly, like a tremolo pedal. That's strange, only does it on the bridge pickup. Try on a SG, no problem. Try a different amp, same thing. Hmmm...

An hour later, after trying different combinations of amps, guitars, pickups, cables, and checking the pots didn't have a loose connection, it dawns on me....

...tune the goddam guitar properly, will you? (A slight enharmonic pulse)

What's your "dumb ass of the day" story?

Bridgehouse

Wondering what the strange thrumming noise is on my bass which wasn’t there the day before only to realise after an hour of consternation that it was the ceiling fan...

boogieman

Wondering why the tone on my Strat sounded a bit strangled. Spent ages fiddling with the guitar, leads, amp settings, then realised the wah pedal was on. 

Kittyfrisk

Once borrowed an original Coloursound Fuzz Wah from a friend.
Was great fun, but I noticed every time I stopped playing, I could clearly hear strange voices.
Stopped when I went out of the room, but was still there when I went back. 

Scared the crap out of me until I realised that the pedal was picking up a random radio channel which was then amplified.
Relieved? You bet 

Philtre

Kittyfrisk said:

Once borrowed an original Coloursound Fuzz Wah from a friend.
Was great fun, but I noticed every time I stopped playing, I could clearly hear strange voices.
Stopped when I went out of the room, but was still there when I went back. 

Scared the crap out of me until I realised that the pedal was picking up a random radio channel which was then amplified.
Relieved? You bet 

I had an original Colorsound Fuzz Wah Swell (£20 in 1976) which did exactly that.

Musicwolf

Recorded an acoustic track to a click but click was bleeding into mic.  Reduced click level and re-recorded, still there. Reduced click so far that I could barely hear it, head as far from mic as I could manage - still there.

Then I spotted the second set of headphones that I'd left hanging on the mic stand.

Paul_C

I recall a gig where, having done what I usually do before a gig - turn amp (and preamp) on, plugged bass in to make sure everything's working and then unplugged until time to start leaving amp and preamp on.

I got up on stage, plugged into the tuner to check tuning, all good. Plugged lead into preamp, nothing. Unplugged preamp and plugged straight into amp, nothing. The rest of the band are just about ready to go and I'm beginning to sweat.

Check lead is properly plugged into the bass, it's dangling from the strap.

Another I remember like that I'd turned the volume down on the bass after tuning.

Snags

I've lost count of the times I've run backwards and forwards trying to work out why the hell there's nothing coming out of the foldback monitors, changing cables, checking levels, checking power etc. etc. only to discover some hero has turned the master aux send on a particular aux channel down to zero. On a desk where no-one is supposed to ever touch those.

EricTheWeary

I remember playing a gig where I used tremolo in one number. Seemed a bit more pronounced than usual and then I couldn't switch it off, the tremolo continuing for the next song even though the pedal was off. I was very confused!  This turns out to be the sound of the battery dieing in my wireless. A problem fixed short term by a cable and longer term by a battery. 

 Very early in my attempts on the guitar I didn't realise there was a way around for strings on the tuning pegs. Put a new  low E on the wrong way and started tuning up. Ping - bottom part of the nut flying across the room! 

Snags

^^ @EricTheWeary has just reminded me of the last carol service. It's always a two-fer, one late afternoon, and then a repeat in the evening. The first one went off fine. In the second one, my guitar started to do this completely out of control mental howling thing.

I hunted around trying to sort it out, tweaked loads of stuff, and struggled through, roundly and vocally blaming the stupid induction loop and the PA operator (the PA person changed between services) as obviously the PA person was the only variable that had changed between the services and the induction loop is known to be a PITA as it is badly routed for the band.

Next time I got out the mini-pedalboard, plugged up, and got horrendous oscillating howling feedback. Checked all the connections. Eventually looked down at the analogue delay (mini pedal) set to a single repeat just below unity. Both tiny adjusters (repeats and mix) had been maxed out. At that point, remember the bassist's youngest daughter coming over between the services ...

ESBlonde

boogieman said:

Wondering why the tone on my Strat sounded a bit strangled. Spent ages fiddling with the guitar, leads, amp settings, then realised the wah pedal was on. 

I'll lend you the tee shirt, but I want it back.  ;-)

prowla

Kittyfrisk said:

Once borrowed an original Coloursound Fuzz Wah from a friend.
Was great fun, but I noticed every time I stopped playing, I could clearly hear strange voices.
Stopped when I went out of the room, but was still there when I went back. 

Scared the crap out of me until I realised that the pedal was picking up a random radio channel which was then amplified.
Relieved? You bet 

Macari's have relaunched the brand and are selling them for rather expensive money.

Kittyfrisk

^ Yes I saw that, thanks. More than I'd care to pay for one.
I also bought the Macari's 'Level & Attack : The book".
A thing of great loveliness & constant interest.
Sod the cost   

Mark1960

Paul_C said:

I recall a gig where, having done what I usually do before a gig - turn amp (and preamp) on, plugged bass in to make sure everything's working and then unplugged until time to start leaving amp and preamp on.

I got up on stage, plugged into the tuner to check tuning, all good. Plugged lead into preamp, nothing. Unplugged preamp and plugged straight into amp, nothing. The rest of the band are just about ready to go and I'm beginning to sweat.

Check lead is properly plugged into the bass, it's dangling from the strap.

Another I remember like that I'd turned the volume down on the bass after tuning.

Ahhaha - I've both of those things as well

hywelg

Trying to diagnose a rattle in an amp only to realise, eventually it was plates rattling in cupboard. 

Philtre

hywelg said:

Trying to diagnose a rattle in an amp only to realise, eventually it was plates rattling in cupboard. 

Ha! That reminds me of my search for the hum and buzz that was caused by my sofa chair:

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/149885/finally-found-the-source-of-my-guitar-buzz-problems-the-sofa-chair/p1

tony99

Had a particularly gnarly bogie that I just couldn't detach, was really going for it too, nothing would shift that bugger no matter how hard I tried. It was sometime later when I realised it wasn't a bogle at all but a hard callous on my finger tip.....d'oh!!

(wasn't today though, was about 3  years 2 months ago)

Philtre

tony99 said:

Had a particularly gnarly bogie that I just couldn't detach, was really going for it too, nothing would shift that bugger no matter how hard I tried. It was sometime later when I realised it wasn't a bogle at all but a hard callous on my finger tip.....d'oh!!

(wasn't today though, was about 3  years 2 months ago)

I see you keep very precise records of such events.

Kittyfrisk

ESBlonde said:

boogieman said:

Wondering why the tone on my Strat sounded a bit strangled. Spent ages fiddling with the guitar, leads, amp settings, then realised the wah pedal was on. 

I'll lend you the tee shirt, but I want it back.  ;-)

I think its known as going off half cocked?

Mick Ronson, much missed, Legend xxx

Kittyfrisk

Philtre said:

hywelg said:

Trying to diagnose a rattle in an amp only to realise, eventually it was plates rattling in cupboard. 

Ha! That reminds me of my search for the hum and buzz that was caused by my sofa chair:

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/149885/finally-found-the-source-of-my-guitar-buzz-problems-the-sofa-chair/p1

Dammit! I just re-read this thread & realised that I missed a perfectly open goal shot, for a 'U2 ,Rattle & Hum' gag.
Any retrospective points available ? 
Or a penalty shoot out for finally getting the bleeding obvious? 

Philtre

Kittyfrisk said:

Philtre said:

hywelg said:

Trying to diagnose a rattle in an amp only to realise, eventually it was plates rattling in cupboard. 

Ha! That reminds me of my search for the hum and buzz that was caused by my sofa chair:

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/149885/finally-found-the-source-of-my-guitar-buzz-problems-the-sofa-chair/p1

Dammit! I just re-read this thread & realised that I missed a perfectly open goal shot, for a 'U2 ,Rattle & Hum' gag.
Any retrospective points available ? 
Or a penalty shoot out for finally getting the bleeding obvious? 

Points awarded. Never too late for a gag. :-)