I have a band dilemma ( sort of)

EricTheWeary

I can't really have one as I'm not in a band!

However, I have started looking again. I have an ad written in my head to try and start a band but I know a guitarist alone is a pretty poor place to start so I haven't tried that yet.

So,anyhoo, up pops an ad on JoinMyBand looking for band members that looks suitable.Quick bit of cross referencing. Hmm.This is two members of my old band ( which left last year and the band itself split after the singer had a heart attack this year) putting something together. Now, I left on good terms but part of the reason for leaving was finding these two rather hard work as people. Although, not unfair to say they were musically the stronger part of the band ( the one being an ex pro).   

So, this is the most suitable thing I've seen for ages on various levels ( musically, commitment wise)and it has people I know. I guess if I replied with 'hello it's me' I'd at least get an audition.Although I really don't know if they'd welcome me back with open arms or not. Lots of guitarists around so if I prevaricate then I'm sure it would go anyway.

So, what's the worse that could happen if I called them up?
Have them tell me to go away. I guess that hurts my pride but that's about it. 
Get the gig and find them as annoying as I used to and have to leave, definitely burning a bridge there and having to struggle through some unpleasant rehearsals.
Get the gig and plod on trying to see the bigger picture rather than just their issues ( loud mouthed racist and person with severe mood swings - not really sure how they get on).

its a small thing I suppose but it is a genuine dilemma.

digitalscream

EricTheWeary said:

 I have an ad written in my head to try and start a band but I know a guitarist alone is a pretty poor place to start so I haven't tried that yet.

Frankly, I'd kill to find a "guitarist available" ad right now.

As for your problem...if you've been there and it didn't work out, I can't see why it'd be any different a second time (unless something's magically changed in their personalities). However...you could call them up and offer to stand in until they find somebody permanent. That way you're doing them a favour, which changes the dynamic somewhat (as well as giving you an out should things go shit-shaped).

PolarityMan

What do you want to get out of being in a band?

mike_l

EricTheWeary said:

This is two members of my old band ( which left last year and the band itself split after the singer had a heart attack this year) putting something together. Now, I left on good terms but part of the reason for leaving was finding these two rather hard work as people.

Was Emp your old singer? B-)

Can you work professionally with these two, even if you're not likely to be closest of friends outside the band?

EricTheWeary

digitalscream said:

EricTheWeary said:

 I have an ad written in my head to try and start a band but I know a guitarist alone is a pretty poor place to start so I haven't tried that yet.

Frankly, I'd kill to find a "guitarist available" ad right now.

As for your problem...if you've been there and it didn't work out, I can't see why it'd be any different a second time (unless something's magically changed in their personalities). However...you could call them up and offer to stand in until they find somebody permanent. That way you're doing them a favour, which changes the dynamic somewhat (as well as giving you an out should things go shit-shaped).

yes, there are very few!

that's a good idea - just see if I can be of help and see how it goes. The one guy had a lot of contacts with people in bands, made a big point of making contacts and would always have a list of people who could dep. However, he also tended to piss people off after a while so I suspect the number of people he has pissed off is now greater than the number he has contacts left for. 

len62

My last experience was with a 5 piece band, of the other 4 peeps, 2 were sound and 2 were a good laugh but always a bit flaky. I play primarily for my own enjoyment so for fun not profit. When my hobby got to be a constant drama of soap opera proportions I bailed and so did the other 2 solid band members. I am a twist not stick kind of person so its never again for me.

Do you need to play for money? If so is it worth the hassle of being in a band with 2 people you don't like? If they are reliable and professional I guess maybe that would make the decision a bit tougher.

EricTheWeary

PolarityMan said:

What do you want to get out of being in a band?

It may take several years in therapy to answer that!

I like playing the guitar but I'm not a great guitarist  or have much time for it so a band gives that focus ( learning songs rather than noodling about) and playing a good gig is a joyfull experience.

I don't mind anything on the organisational side as I know there is stuff that has to be done.

Musically I'm quite open minded (or maybe I'm not..?) so I don't have a totally fixed idea of what a band would play but I know my strengths and limitations so that's more restrictive than what's on myiPod.

I don't have an interest in anything of the social side of it at all. I don't want to spend time with band members outside of a rehearsal room or on a stage if I can help it. I'm not unpleasant or anti social ( although this may be getting difficult to believe...), I'm just not very interested. To the point really where anything other than the job in hand in a rehearsal room annoys me - I don't want to leave the house to pay money to stand in a smelly room and listen to fart jokes.    

EricTheWeary

mike_l said:

EricTheWeary said:

This is two members of my old band ( which left last year and the band itself split after the singer had a heart attack this year) putting something together. Now, I left on good terms but part of the reason for leaving was finding these two rather hard work as people.

Was Emp your old singer? B-)

Can you work professionally with these two, even if you're not likely to be closest of friends outside the band?

I'm very easy going ( probably too much in some ways) but its more the spill over of their personality traits into the band that concerns me. Playing a set and having the bass player throw a massive moody after because we weren't playing how he thought we should is a bit of a downer.

EricTheWeary

len62 said:

My last experience was with a 5 piece band, of the other 4 peeps, 2 were sound and 2 were a good laugh but always a bit flaky. I play primarily for my own enjoyment so for fun not profit. When my hobby got to be a constant drama of soap opera proportions I bailed and so did the other 2 solid band members. I am a twist not stick kind of person so its never again for me.

Do you need to play for money? If so is it worth the hassle of being in a band with 2 people you don't like? If they are reliable and professional I guess maybe that would make the decision a bit tougher.

No, there would be no substantial money in it. Although for one of them money was a big issue in the past and arguments about which gigs we would do used to piss me off quite a lot - he would constantly moan about not being paid enough  for gigs but in three years all he organsied was one unpaid and rather shitty gig.

monquixote

Without wanting to make you paranoid presumably they know you and have your number?

If I was putting a band together I would always call people I knew before going through the hell of auditioning. If they knew I was looking and didn't call me I'd wonder if that was a conscious decision. 

Obviously you know them and the situation better than I do.

len62

So for me; loud mouthed racist + moody bastard + money grabber = no fun at all and probably a fight at some point.

Maybe better to find one person you can play and practice with who's not a pain in the arse then do some networking to find others that are suitable to meet your goals.

JAYJO

As has been said, if they didnt contact you first and they have your number forget it!

not_the_dj

monquixote said:

Without wanting to make you paranoid presumably they know you and have your number?

If I was putting a band together I would always call people I knew before going through the hell of auditioning. If they knew I was looking and didn't call me I'd wonder if that was a conscious decision. 

Obviously you know them and the situation better than I do.

Pretty much what I was drafting.

No offence but they must have at some point gone "shall we give XXXX a call" and decided against it.

EricTheWeary

yes, they do have my  number - good point! Although I left on the basis I didn't want to do the band thing anymore so maybe it wouldn't occur to them to ask.

I feel I'm going off the idea; either put some proper effort into putting a band together or take up knitting.
:o3

mike_l

digitalscream said:

Frankly, I'd kill to find a "guitarist available" ad right now.

I'm available. Although you'll have to lower your standards to get me........

EricTheWeary

not_the_dj said:

No offence but they must have at some point gone "shall we give XXXX a call" and decided against it.

Well, if they can't even remember my name then I've no chance!


I'll get me coat...
X_X

mike_l

EricTheWeary said:

not_the_dj said:

No offence but they must have at some point gone "shall we give XXXX a call" and decided against it.

Well, if they can't even remember my name then I've no chance!


I'll get me coat...
X_X

They can, your name realy is XXXX

ICBM

Read Don Felder's book about the Eagles before deciding to rejoin a band you left because you couldn't get on with the personalities of two of the members.

Or just watch the two-part documentary, it might still be on iPlayer.

EricTheWeary

mike_l said:

EricTheWeary said:

not_the_dj said:

No offence but they must have at some point gone "shall we give XXXX a call" and decided against it.

Well, if they can't even remember my name then I've no chance!


I'll get me coat...
X_X

They can, your name realy is XXXX

Your right - that's what it says in the label in my pants. I guess L is the first letter of my surname.
:-O

digitalscream

mike_l said:

I'm available. Although you'll have to lower your standards to get me........

I'm not entirely sure a 90 mile round-trip for rehearsals would suit you

EricTheWeary

ICBM said:

Read Don Felder's book about the Eagles before deciding to rejoin a band you left because you couldn't get on with the personalities of two of the members.

Or just watch the two-part documentary, it might still be on iPlayer.

I think I spotted Part 2 on there the other day oddly enough but watched a Wallander instead.