Wasp stings

viz

monquixote said:

viz said:

Waspard - timewaster letters, right?

Wisdom for you Mr Viz.

Got both books. My fave: the beef/beel scarecrows and the crossword. Oh and the poem with kingdom/kindom :-D

viz

I once was having a can of lilt on a hot sunny day. I put it on the wall, and a couple of minutes later I took a huge swig and felt something non-liquid in my mouth. I thought - oooh that's funny, there's an unprocessed bit of grapefruit floating in there, how lovely, i'll bite that and chew it up and suck all the lovely grapefruity flavour out of that sweet delicious chunk. When my teeth crunched down on that wasp, my mouth flooded with an horrid sour bitter liquid causing my mouth to just open and let all the contents flow out onto the pavement (minus teeth and tongue obviously). And lying there was this ruined broken wasp, flexing and twitching. I stamped the shit out of it.

Deadman

viz said:

I once was having a can of lilt on a hot sunny day. I put it on the wall, and a couple of minutes later I took a huge swig and felt something non-liquid in my mouth. I thought - oooh that's funny, there's an unprocessed bit of grapefruit floating in there, how lovely, i'll bite that and chew it up and suck all the lovely grapefruity flavour out of that sweet delicious chunk. When my teeth crunched down on that wasp, my mouth flooded with an horrid sour bitter liquid causing my mouth to just open and let all the contents flow out onto the pavement (minus teeth and tongue obviously). And lying there was this ruined broken wasp, flexing and twitching. I stamped the shit out of it.

That story made me shiver.

ICBM

digitalscream said:

'Twas a hornet.

It didn't sting me, but even having never seen one before I could tell it was a nasty evil thing.

Hornets are actually less aggressive than wasps and not likely to sting you - but if they do you'll really know about it. And they do look like pure evil.

Wasps are nasty little bastards though.

CloudNine

Deadman said:

I've only been stung once; on the sole of my bare foot, obviously I stood on the little bastard. It really hurt, I thought I'd trodden on some glass at first.

I've read somewhere that if you get stung you should use a credit card to 'scrape' off the sting. I hope I don't need to test the idea out anytime in the near future though. Wasps are really at the top of the hate list for me. They're even more pointless than flies.

The credit card thing is for Bee's not Wasps. Wasp's don't leave their sting in you, it's a weapon they can use repeatedly, the snidey little f*ckers. I hate them.

Bee's leave the sting behind, which also means they die shortly afterwards. More of a Kamikaze sort of act, which I suppose you have to admire a little more. The credit card is to push out the sting without squeezing more venom into you from the little sac that accompanies the sting.

(different little sac to the one PaulK mentions above)

monquixote

viz said:

I once was having a can of lilt on a hot sunny day. I put it on the wall, and a couple of minutes later I took a huge swig and felt something non-liquid in my mouth. I thought - oooh that's funny, there's an unprocessed bit of grapefruit floating in there, how lovely, i'll bite that and chew it up and suck all the lovely grapefruity flavour out of that sweet delicious chunk. When my teeth crunched down on that wasp, my mouth flooded with an horrid sour bitter liquid causing my mouth to just open and let all the contents flow out onto the pavement (minus teeth and tongue obviously). And lying there was this ruined broken wasp, flexing and twitching. I stamped the shit out of it.

If ever there was a beverage that could be improved by wasp venom it's Lilt.

viz

Yes agreed, except it wasn't wasp venom, it was wasp thorax contents.

monquixote

I'm giving you a Wisdom because I so enjoyed the word thorax.

randomhandclaps

I was once at a bus stoop and a wasp asked me for £1 for the bus as his kid was sick and he needed to get to the hospital.  I was a bit suspicious but I gave it to him.  Looking back it was obviously a scam and in many ways I blame myself for not asking more detailed questions.  I'm extra wary now.

bertie

also.............. bee stings are acidic,  wasps are alkali.    Treat wasp stings with  acid (lime/lemon/vinegar)  but dont put that on a bee sting, you'll make it worserer

ICBM

bertie said:

also.............. bee stings are acidic,  wasps are alkali.    Treat wasp stings with  acid (lime/lemon/vinegar)  but dont put that on a bee sting, you'll make it worserer

So if you treat a bee sting with a wasp sting, do you make water?

holnrew

I had a sting on the side of my left hand, I put it down on top of the boat and there was a wasp there. I think I apologised to it.

monquixote

viz said:

Yes agreed, except it wasn't wasp venom, it was wasp thorax contents.

I should also add that in my household the goopy contents of an insect's thorax is called farfignugen.

VimFuego

we're planning on getting bees next year (need to do a course first really), so I guess I'll be getting stung a bit. Not really relevant I know, but thought I'd share nonetheless.

Evilmags

I nearly had a car crash when a Wasp stung me. It was in a hot country where the fuckers are nasty. The evil jet black hornets that live where my brother abides are terrifying. loud as hell and very large indeed. They could be used go induce mental illnesses...

viz

monquixote said:

I'm giving you a Wisdom because I so enjoyed the word thorax.

Wow thanks!!!

monquixote

I might take it away again for posting that video

Myranda

ICBM said:

bertie said:

also.............. bee stings are acidic,  wasps are alkali.    Treat wasp stings with  acid (lime/lemon/vinegar)  but dont put that on a bee sting, you'll make it worserer

So if you treat a bee sting with a wasp sting, do you make water?

That's just non-sense...

You get honey - how do you think they make it?

RedRabbit

I was once stung on the onside of my lip.  Swelled like a bastard and hurt like hell.  Still went to work though.  Just saying....

Quite fancy beekeeping but don't know were I'd keep the hive.  Doubt the neighbours would take to kindly to one on the front lawn.

Myranda

RedRabbit said:

I was once stung on the onside of my lip.  Swelled like a bastard and hurt like hell.  Still went to work though.  Just saying....

Quite fancy beekeeping but don't know were I'd keep the hive.  Doubt the neighbours would take to kindly to one on the front lawn.

It's only small - living room?