Friday humour

Hootsmon · August 2018

Hootsmon · August 2018

Hootsmon · August 2018

Hootsmon · August 2018

rawk100 · August 2018

https://i.imgur.com/tbQ8koO.png

Bridgehouse · August 2018

Ye olde Minder..

Emp_Fab · August 2018

I coulde be so goode for you.

Jimbro66 · August 2018

kaypeejay said:

BigBearKris said:

jdgm said:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are out driving in Watson's shiny new automobile, and having a jolly time until suddenly the oil pressure gauge starts to waver and the light on the dashboard goes on.
"I say Holmes", says Watson, "I think we had better pull in at the next garage and purchase some lubricant!"
"Very well, Watson old chap, whatever's necessary to keep our motorised carriage on the road!"
"I say Holmes, while we're at it, would you like to split one of those new-fangled ice creams with me?"
"I don't think so, old boy, gives me a headache y'know, bad for the old grey matter - but you carry on."
"Gosh Holmes, I can't possibly eat a whole one and I don't think they'll sell me half an ice cream, surely?"
"Don't worry, Watson! Leave it to me - you just have to know how to address the merchant classes!"

They pull into the garage.
Holmes gets out and goes to the kiosk, where the attendant says "yes sir, may I help you?"
And Sherlock Holmes says;
"Half a cone and oil, please."

Wow indeed

I prefer the “Lemon entry Watson” joke but I can only remember the punchline.

Dr Watson knocked on the door of Sherlock Holmes' house. When Holmes opened the door Watson exclaimed "Good lord Holmes, you've painted your hallway bright yellow!". Holmes replied "Ah, it's a lemon entry my dear Watson".

rawk100 · August 2018

kaypeejay said:9

BigBearKris said:

jdgm said:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are out driving in Watson's shiny new automobile, and having a jolly time until suddenly the oil pressure gauge starts to waver and the light on the dashboard goes on.
"I say Holmes", says Watson, "I think we had better pull in at the next garage and purchase some lubricant!"
"Very well, Watson old chap, whatever's necessary to keep our motorised carriage on the road!"
"I say Holmes, while we're at it, would you like to split one of those new-fangled ice creams with me?"
"I don't think so, old boy, gives me a headache y'know, bad for the old grey matter - but you carry on."
"Gosh Holmes, I can't possibly eat a whole one and I don't think they'll sell me half an ice cream, surely?"
"Don't worry, Watson! Leave it to me - you just have to know how to address the merchant classes!"

They pull into the garage.
Holmes gets out and goes to the kiosk, where the attendant says "yes sir, may I help you?"
And Sherlock Holmes says;
"Half a cone and oil, please."

Wow indeed

I prefer the “Lemon entry Watson” joke but I can only remember the punchline.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson have solved another case. Afterwards, they celebrate with a few brandies at their Baker St. residence. Holmes, feeling the brandy, reaches over and puts his hand on Watson's knee.

"Watson, for some time I've wanted to tell you that I quite fancy you."

With a sense of relief Dr. Watson replies, "And I you, my good Holmes. I've simply never felt comfortable expressing my feelings without knowing where you stood on the matter."

"Right", says Holmes, "Let us retire to the bedroom then."

Watson rushes to the bedroom and strips to his shorts. Holmes pulls down Watson's underwear, bends him over the desk then tells him to hold that pose. Complying, Watson watches as Holmes leaves the bedroom and returns with a lemon meringue pie. He smears the pie across Watson's ass and proceeds to bugger him. Later they're lying in bed making small talk. Watson says, "That was fantastic Holmes, but I have to ask; what was all that with the pie?"

"Lemon-entry my dear Watson, lemon-entry."