Friday humour

Emp_Fab

Emp_Fab

Fretwired

Fretwired

Fretwired

rawk100

https://i.imgur.com/0HUEUsk.png

axisus

ronnyb said:
That so reminds me of a serious motorcycle accident i witnessed in Cumbria. The biker had an horrific injury to his knee, there was a gaping hole in it and all he kept asking about was how badly his motorbike was damaged. 

BAck in the 80s, a guy at my first job took a company van out and was caught up in a bad underpass crash that wrote the car off. As the paramedics were stretchering him into the ambulance he could be heard to say something ....  "get .... the ... tape ... out ... of ... the ... car ....". He was listening to the only existing master tape of his bands new demo!

axisus

Susan's husband didn't seem interested in sex any more. She was walking through town and noticed a seedy little shop, with a small Ad in the window - Madame X can sort out your sex life. Curious, she went in. The wizened old Madam X was indeed an expert of all sex related problems, and sold Susan Magic mustard - guaranteed to work. 

Susan shot home and cooked her husband's favourite meal, sausages. She left the piping hot food on the table, with the mustard pot next to it, and went upstair to change into her sexiest negligee. Her husband came home and said "sausages, my favourite!" and sat down to eat. Susan was just preparing herself for her grand entrance when she heard loud guffawing from the dining room. She rushed down and exclaimed "What is going on?".

Her husband, with tears of laughter rolling down his face said "I just put some mustard on my sausage, it stood up, peeled itself then shot up the cat's arse!"

Moominpapa

axisus said:

ronnyb said:
That so reminds me of a serious motorcycle accident i witnessed in Cumbria. The biker had an horrific injury to his knee, there was a gaping hole in it and all he kept asking about was how badly his motorbike was damaged. 

BAck in the 80s, a guy at my first job took a company van out and was caught up in a bad underpass crash that wrote the car off. As the paramedics were stretchering him into the ambulance he could be heard to say something ....  "get .... the ... tape ... out ... of ... the ... car ....". He was listening to the only existing master tape of his bands new demo!

The very definition of rock and roll

Fretwired

Bridgehouse

Bridgehouse

Bridgehouse

Bridgehouse

JerkMoans

Q: What's pink, smells of piss, and goes in and out?

A: Dame Barbara Cartland doing the hokey cokey.

proggy

Moses was the first geezer to download data from the cloud to his tablet.

Bridgehouse

Bridgehouse

Bridgehouse

Bridgehouse