Need some band advice

MazzaG

Hey guys,

Just in need of some advice from those of you who may have been in similar situations.

I'm currently in a 3 piece originals band (6 months in). Musically it is going really well. The three of us get on great and have a laugh.

However I am definitely a lot closer with the bassist, the drummer is very much his own person and outside of band practice I don't really see him, we exchange the odd text during the week but that's about it. Like I said, when we are together playing it is great and we have a laugh, we click fantastically musically as well.

The drummer has his own life outside of the band, his own circle of friends and social life which I obviously have no problem with, On the other hand I am on the introverted side and do tend to enjoy my own company. We go out for beers once in a while though.

I guess I'm pessimistic by nature and tend to always worry about the pointless things. In your opinion, do bandmates need to be "best friends"? 

Does a successful originals band need each member to be close and always talking/in touch? I guess naturally I tend to look at the bands I admire and I see that they appear to always be with each other, even outside of a musical situation. But then it's no secret that even the greatest bands on earth have their difficulties.

Sorry if this seems a bit aimless, but thank you for reading.

Tldr: Do band mates need to be with each other a lot (outside of musical situations) for things to work out in the long run?

thomasross20

Pfft, don't think so! 

There, that's your answer!

MazzaG

Well I guess that's that then! Haha.

But thank you for the response. 

thomasross20

Maybe if you're trying to conquer the world and make it big, it might be a bit more important. But outside of that, I really don't think it matters much. I only see my band members at practice.

robinbowes

No, absolutely not.

Does the band work? Are you happy? Are they happy?

R.

Deijavoo

I've been in all situations of closest friends, housemates, acquaintances, people I didn't know or even maybe disliked in bands together. If it works it doesn't matter. Then again I've pretty much always been in the same band as my closest mate so maybe I'm a little bit blinkered.

Roland

If it works then it works. You need to be friendly in your relationships with other band members, just as you would with any other work colleague, but that doesn't mean you have to be best of friends. In fact I think it helps to have different outlooks.

monquixote

Nope band mates are like work colleagues it's important that you have respect for them and like them, or it makes things very difficult, but you certainly don't have to be friends.

Teetonetal

Don't stress on it, think of the positives:

You all get on, you musically click and you don't live in each others pockets. Also if you all have your own group of friends you have a much bigger chance of getting a decent number of people to watch you

I live in a different city to the rest of my band, never see them out side of gigs and rehearsal (2 hr round trip for me) and only chat occasionally on facebook or text. Add to that I am English, bass player is Italian, drummer and singer are Swiss German which makes communication a challenge.. 

What's important, is that you are all pulling your weight, all reliable and musically in the rough same ball-park.

quit stressing.  

DesVegas

Not at all, going out together socially is not important. Drummers are a strange breed remember .. 

MazzaG

Some really, really excellent points guys and I thank you for your responses. 

I think the three of us are happy, musically it just *works*, we click very well on that level. In the studio itself we knuckle down and get to work but at the same time we do have fun. I do think the others are happy with the situation, I mean like I said I am just a natural pessimist and tend to always focus on what could go wrong as apposed to what is actually going right. 

Many of you said "if it works, it works" and I think that's true, I guess it's a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". 

Thanks again guys, big help.

freakboy1610

If you get on within the context of the band then it's nothing to worry about. Not being friends didn't stop The Who from being very successful. Being too chummy can bring it's own problems e.g. Morrissey & Marr.

digitalscream

I'm in exactly the same position, except it's the drummer and I who get on great (we also tend to be the musical leads in the band). Don't get me wrong - we're all pretty tight, especially now that we're a 4-piece, but it's kinda relative. The singer and bassist came in as a package deal, since they were already best friends before the band, so they tend to be closer to each other than to me or the drummer.

Looking at a lot of other bands, I think it helps more in an originals band to be fairly close - cover bands tend to be a lot more interchangeable in terms of personnel. My dad's band, for example, never rehearse or even see each other outside of gigs. I just can't get with that; I have to have a decent relationship with the people I'm playing with, otherwise it's a miserable experience for me.

EricTheWeary

Teetonetal;605314" said:

Don't stress on it, think of the positives:

You all get on, you musically click and you don't live in each others pockets. Also if you all have your own group of friends you have a much bigger chance of getting a decent number of people to watch you

I live in a different city to the rest of my band, never see them out side of gigs and rehearsal (2 hr round trip for me) and only chat occasionally on facebook or text. Add to that I am English, bass player is Italian, drummer and singer are Swiss German which makes communication a challenge.. 

What's important, is that you are all pulling your weight, all reliable and musically in the rough same ball-park.

quit stressing.  

I saw the American blues guitarist Lightning Willie playing with a band the promoter had put together for the European tour. Two of the band spoke no English and it still all worked.

monquixote;605304" said:

Nope band mates are like work colleagues it's important that you have respect for them and like them, or it makes things very difficult, but you certainly don't have to be friends.

that's about right I think.

lloyd

Absolutely you don't need to be in each others pockets to be a great band. The important thing is that you click when you're playing, anything else is a bonus but equally it could be a hindrance-especially if you fall out/break the band up.

I like that my current band are mates and do see each other socially occasionally, we very occasionally get to gether just as a band to share a beer and discuss things without eating into rehearsal time. 

Nowadays I don't see my closest mates for moths due to being in another part of the country and the mates I do have in Manchester I can go weeks without seeing.

Sounds like you've got nothing to worry about mate. The music is the important thing and clicking when oyu're doing that.

Maynehead

If it's working, it's working. There is no formula for a successful band, you have to find your own way there.

IanSavage

digitalscream said:

Looking at a lot of other bands, I think it helps more in an originals band to be fairly close - cover bands tend to be a lot more interchangeable in terms of personnel.

One thing that I do miss about being in an 'original-originals' band (the one I'm with at the minute is a blues bands, so about half-and-half originals and covers which we tend to put a spin on) is the gang mentality, that kind of 'us against the world' thing where we'd go out for beers and play pool or whatever together and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that we were a band. The 'got your back, bro' kinda feel was there in most of the bands I've been in, but I guess age plays a part as well (maybe you just grow out of that ).

Not saying that you NEED that to be a successful band, but it is a pleasant by-product of being in one sometimes.

albanov

Wouldn't worry about it, I was in a band a while ago where both guitarists had known the drummer for 15+ years and still had no idea what he actually did for a day job. Lovely guy and a good musician but eh, you know. Drummers.

Fuzzdog

It's nice when everyone in a band are good friends, but by no means essential.

I actually prefer it when everyone gets on musically but doesn't really share much of a life outside the band - I find it's a lot easier to voice ideas and be critical when necessary without the fear of upsetting a social relationship, which generally makes the band work better.

ESBlonde

If you go on the road and live in the back of a van for weeks you need to get on. Otherwise be yourselves and enjoy the music.

Danny1969

Although you don't need to get on with your band mates outside of gigs and rehearsals I've always found it a big addition to my social life. We have barbecues together, go watch other bands together, go for dinner and drink together. The wife's all get on and that increased their social circle. Big happy family but that's not really been an accident, more about choosing the right people to begin with. Some people have been sacked along the way