The philosophy thread

Fretwired

Over a cold beer I thought about an age old question:

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the bollocks?

Women always maintain that giving birth is far more painful than a bloke getting kicked in the bollocks.

Well, after another beer,  and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the bollocks is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.

A year or so after  giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a bloke say, "You know, I think I'd like another kick in the bollocks."

I rest my case. Time for another beer. 

chillidoggy

A woman can only suffer the pain every 9 months.

Drew_TNBD

And after she's had two or three, it barely leaves a dent.

Women like to hype up this "we go through more pain thing" because it is the *only* point of our physical form that they win on. In all other respects, men are vastly superior.

not_the_dj

They're doing it wrong ;-)

We did a lot of preparation for our kids births. Both were home births, the first in a birthing pool and that was a fantastic experience for all of us. No drugs or pain relief at all....no screaming, just concentration and breathing working with the contractions.

Afterwards my wife described it as 'uncomfortable' but not painful. Nothing like the media portrail of birth, which is quite damaging to a lot of women as that's what they're expecting, which causes them to be tense which is totally counterproductive.

Slightly more difficult for our second son, but the midwives were getting bored (or approaching the end of their shift) so they started talking about transfering to hosiptal (the contractions weren't regular enough) so they got her our of the pool. That gave my wife the impetus to go for one big push with the next contraction and out he popped. Again no paiin relief or medical intervention.

Of course we were lucky in that both were in good positions (the second had been breech but he turned a couple of weeks before the due date) but it doesn't have to be all screaming.

frankus

is it really a philosophy thread?

Drew_TNBD

not_the_dj said:

They're doing it wrong ;-)

We did a lot of preparation for our kids births. Both were home births, the first in a birthing pool and that was a fantastic experience for all of us. No drugs or pain relief at all....no screaming, just concentration and breathing working with the contractions.

Hope she did a poo first. Last thing I would want as a child is the subconscious memory of being dropped in a puddle of watery shite.

not_the_dj

Drew_fx said:

not_the_dj said:

They're doing it wrong ;-)

We did a lot of preparation for our kids births. Both were home births, the first in a birthing pool and that was a fantastic experience for all of us. No drugs or pain relief at all....no screaming, just concentration and breathing working with the contractions.

Hope she did a poo first. Last thing I would want as a child is the subconscious memory of being dropped in a puddle of watery shite.

When you have a birth pool it's advisable to have a sieve close at hand for just that.

Fretwired

Well I'm off to the Philosophers Arms after work for a bit of binge thinking ....

Catch you later ...

holnrew

Men are pathetic when it comes to the old kick in the balls argument. It's embarrassing for me as a male. I've had worse pain than a kick in the balls (including accidentally hitting myself in the balls when I was already having pain in the left ball and laid me out on the floor for twenty minutes).

When I had surgery to block a varicose vein in my ball, they had to puncture a vein in my groin. They had trouble finding it because it was buried deep, and all the rummaging around was painful enough even with anaesthetic. But when they punctured the vein, worst pain ever. It was only for less than a second, but still...

As for prolonged pain, when my gallstones have acted up, christ. My future mother in law has had them and has said it's worse than childbirth. I think I could take pushing a baby out of my minge if I had one.

randomhandclaps

People have been asking this question forever yet no-one ever thinks to ask a hermaphrodite.

One think I do know is that each time my wife gives birth the incidences of me getting clouted in the bollocks rises sharply.

Drew_TNBD

People have died from shock post ball kick. It is a pretty awful thing to do to someone.

jd0272

Childbirth? Pah. "It stings!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she said, "You'll be fine. Pleased that's a leather sofa...", said I (home birth).

Try a burst gastric ulcer and a near death experience. 'Ya fucka' doesn't come near to the pain. Nor does the paramedic saying in the ambeeelance on the way to the hospital "We can't legally give you any more morphine Jason......" as it didn't even touch the pain. And fuck speed humps too. Knew they were coming when the driver said "Sorry...."

ROOG

 Like passing a mellon she said, not sure if she meant me or her.

jd0272

They love the attention.

ROOG

Mind you it was a bit of a shock to find that walls in maternity departments are thicker than most.

Drew_TNBD

ROOG said:

Mind you it was a bit of a shock to find that walls in maternity departments are thicker than most.

Struggled to get a glory hole going???

jd0272

Drew_fx said:

ROOG said:

Mind you it was a bit of a shock to find that walls in maternity departments are thicker than most.

Struggled to get a glory hole going???

Fucking hell Drew, you've got issues.

I'm not complaining mind. Generally the most entertaining things I read all day. 

scrumhalf

Apparently the pain from a kidney stone is closer to the pain of giving birth than a kick in the cricket set.

And you don't get 9 months' warning of a kidney stone either. The pain is incredible.

jd0272

Our drummer has kidney stones. Has to have some laser zappy thing treatment. Said it was all jolly unpleasant.

VimFuego

scrumhalf said:

Apparently the pain from a kidney stone is closer to the pain of giving birth than a kick in the cricket set.

And you don't get 9 months' warning of a kidney stone either. The pain is incredible.

but at least you don't have to feed, clothe, educate and buy a 1st car for a kidney stone, so it's better from the POV.

paulk

I passed a kidney stone a few years back. Reading Marcus Aurelius did not help me one fucking bit.