Today's thinking about quitting my band thread

monquixote

digitalscream said:

In my experience, that kind of email is simply an invitation to talk about it over and over again for the next month.

Far better to say, "Guys, I've had enough and I'm out."

Gets around any potential "Oh, but please..." awkward conversations

That's intentional.

I started the band and it's the first time I've brought it up seriously with them. 

I don't think at the moment we are in a position where it can be saved, but I owe them the opportunity to talk about it.

They also might say: Fine piss off then. 

monquixote

Danny1969 said:

Have a good hard think before you do anything rash, it sounds like a great band that would be hard to put together again

My advice if it's worth anything is use someone to do FOH and your ears, doing PA and sorting out sound is not your problem. Every single band I gig with has someone else to do the PA, not a band member. It's worth the money in my book so we  just pay them as a fifth member. 

NOTE : you know your can control your ears with your phones with the desk your using .... IOS or Android .... so they can do their own ears. That side of things shouldn't be a problem at least

You are right 

Given my life commitments if I jack this one in I won't be playing in bands again for a long time (and possibly ever).

I think we really need to either get a dedicated sound man, or play out of our amps. Half and half doesn't work.

ICBM

monquixote said:

I think we really need to either get a dedicated sound man, or play out of our amps. Half and half doesn't work.

No, it doesn't. I totally understand where Danny is coming from with a very polished, professional set-up where everything is mixed by a dedicated soundman. But it is also complicated to set up and get really right, and if it's not really right it's worse than doing it the old low-tech way. In my opinion - which I have to qualify by saying I've never actually done it live at all, because trying to do it even for practices was so offputting for me.

It is partly 'laziness' - I simply want to do the job with the least possible amount of complexity, fuss and gear to carry - but partly because I think that it's genuinely better unless you're totally committed to the other way.

There is also definitely a case for taking things seriously, but not too seriously. I'm not sure how to describe the difference, but if it's not enjoyable as well as hard work, then you're taking it too seriously… and it sounds to me like it's too much work to be enjoyable at the moment. (Unless it's your actual wage-earning job, of course.)

dindude

Drew_fx said:

dindude;1049285" said:

I know this isn't the higher musical plane we all saw ourselves on when we were 16 year olds (and @drewfx still does), but it's none less a valid a reason to pick up guitar and enjoy it.

:-S

You don't know anything about me mate. Music to me is part therapy, part escapism, and part entertainment - or hobby if you will. That doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't take it seriously, and that you no longer take it seriously doesn't make you any better or more knowledgeable than anyone else on the subject.

4 words. It was a joke.

Drew_TNBD

You're a joke.

thomasross20

It'll be good for you to have the chat, you've left it a little open-ended (even though you've said you want out) by saying you'll be there to have a chat. I say keep going and try to address the issues - now is the time. 

My band got a new drummer and it's been a big improvement. Still some little things but I'm not going to let it stop me getting out of the house one day a week to do something I like (as long as it doesn't take too much time, like these 3+ hour gigs...)

Kebabkid

Sorry to hear that Nick and as others have said, your email should at least get you all talking.

Just looking at the basics, it sounds like you have a good band, good musicians and if the personnel are ok people and you get along, you've probably got more going for you than most bands. However, it does need to be fun and maybe the IEM set-up is putting you all under unnecessary stress. I've no experience of IEMs and whilst I can see how useful they could be, do they "remove" something from the live experience or restrict you?

As to the crowds you're playing to, are they regular gigs (pubs etc) or functions? You could sign up with an entertainment agency which might steer you away from rowdy crowds although playing functions doesn't always guarantee that and you do lose an element of control over the places and types of event you play if you've got an over-enthusiastic promoter, but it might be worth a try.

I, too, have family restrictions like probably quite a few of the folks here so the limited amount of time that you have to offer up is important but this is your thing and your time. I think you'd miss it terribly if you stopped. You're too much of a good player and enthusiast to hang up your guitar and despite wanting to take your "Nile Rogers forum tag", I think you should sit tight.

I hope it all works out for you matey

gusman2x

When I want to fuck my band off, I have to force myself to remember how shit previous bands have been.

monquixote

gusman2x said:

When I want to fuck my band off, I have to force myself to remember how shit previous bands have been.

This is very wise words.

Teetonetal

monquixote said:

Drew_fx said:

Get back to basics.

Ditch the click. Ditch the backing tracks if any, ditch the tech. Become a ROCK band again!

TBH I'd love that, but I suspect the suggestion will be as popular as a fart in a space suit.

BUT, if that is really the thing that is making you unhappy, then at least suggest it, especially if continuing to use it makes you will leave anyway. IF you are going to have the should I leave chat, then make sure you really know exactly what it is that stops the fun. IF something really isn't working Gig after Gig, then get rid.

Phil_aka_Pip

I found the easiest thing to do was to send round an email that says, simply:

I quit


and then, when you re asked to reconsider, just reply to each person who asks you to reconsider: "Thanks but I don't want to discuss it".

DesVegas

Yep, i got out of the covers band and am loving my originals band at the moment

mudslide73

Your problems don't sound insurmountable - as others have said really. Get someone in to remove the PA issues or simplify the setup. You'd enjoy it more if you only had to concentrate on playing. For us it only takes a new venue to be good (or revisiting an old haunt we all love) to pep us up a bit... we're all falling apart at the seams so it's a miracle we can still do it

Also it's like with jobs or women: don't jack it in until you have an alternative lined up. Once my Wednesday's are spent at home it would be very difficult to start using them again. If I jacked the band in I'd be miserable as sin (or even more miserable as sin).

ESBlonde

Nick, have a word with Gavin here http://www.ceghirepro.uk/about-us/team. Say Kevin from Souled As Seen sent you.

He's a local lad (Bury way), built like a brick outhouse, a super nice guy and great technical knowledge. He used to mix my 8 piece soul band for the last couple of years it existed. I built and owned the rig but found it easy to hand over to Gav once he'd quickly proven he knew what he was doing. I'd have him in an instant if I needed someone, he brings plenty to the party and enabled me to relax and enjoy the gig far more than I had for years.

TTony

So, what's happened then???

Are you, me and @Phil_aka_Pip going to form the old git, slightly less old git, and remarkably younger less-of-a-git, trio for some 12-bar jamming sessions in the back room of Phil's local, or did you patch it up and get your sound problems sorted out?

Hopefully - because from what I heard, you're a good tight band and you're a whole lot better a guitarist than a 12-bar jam session - you've got it sorted ... but if not, that back room beckons ...

monquixote

TTony said:

So, what's happened then???

Are you, me and @Phil_aka_Pip going to form the old git, slightly less old git, and remarkably younger less-of-a-git, trio for some 12-bar jamming sessions in the back room of Phil's local, or did you patch it up and get your sound problems sorted out?

Hopefully - because from what I heard, you're a good tight band and you're a whole lot better a guitarist than a 12-bar jam session - you've got it sorted ... but if not, that back room beckons ...

Good point, I owe this thread a bit of an update.

Had a band meeting on Tuesday. Many home truths were said in all directions, some of it a bit uncomfortable, but it let us clear the air and make sure we were all pulling in the same direction.

The main thing for me was that we tried going full DI for the guitar just using an Atomic Amplifire straight into the desk. That fixes my issue where I can't hear the same thing in my monitors as is coming out of my amp. 

We've also tried to work out a bit of a military plan for load in, setup and load out.

The net result was that we had a gig on Saturday. I could hear what the audience could on guitar, we had no feedback issues, the landlady rebooked us immediately and gave us an extra £50 and a round of drinks as she'd enjoyed it so much so I'd call that a win.

TTony

So, that a no for you me & Phil at his local then??

But congrats on getting it sorted.  

monquixote

TTony said:

So, that a no for you me & Phil at his local then??

But congrats on getting it sorted.  

Fraid so.

You really don't want to try and play blues with me, I'm bloody terrible at it. That's why I don't go to jam nights.