I gone done written a tune

Cirrus

So, I'm usually a bit afraid of putting up my own stuff for fear of the inevitable general indifference I'll receive. I don't have the same fear with my band's music because there's 4 of us, we exist, we play gigs, all is well. With my own stuff, it's just me with a little bucket of sounds that no one has any reason to care about 

Nonetheless, I suppose it has to happen some time. I've got tunes, 12 of the buggers, and I've spent long enough on them that I feel I must inflict them on you. This is one, it's mostly mixed barring minor tweaks that'll come to me while I'm finishing the other tracks I'm sure.

kin

Enjoyed that, good tune mate.

guitarfishbay

Cool song, well recorded.  I like the arrangement.

Danny1969

I like them, very atmospheric and interesting. I like your voice too 

I would say though, as a( now retired producer who listens for songs rather than technically listens  ) that to make these songs more palatable to the causal listener things would have to get less busy with more emphasis on the vocal and less busy little parts competing for the space.  

I think what you have done is produce something you like and like minded people on here and around the world would like too but If you did want more mainstream appeal then I think there's better songs under the clutter. In short I think you have gilded the lilly

Cirrus

A fair and welcome critique. I suppose when it's all just down to me on my own, all I can really do is what feels right - I'm very aware of the value of a producer in bashing things into shape!

If you have any specific advice relating to this track, like "get rid of the guitar at 2:30" etc, please feel welcome to give it!

Fretwired

That's a good song and I enjoyed listening to it all the way through .. @Danny1969 is right.

Well done though .. I liked the guitar mayhem at around 3:30 ...

guitarfishbay

To me I think grade 1 bass when I think commercial, especially verse 2 I think (listened to it twice earlier but currently at a family gathering so going on memory). Overall it's more a case of all instruments being busy here if you're thinking commercial.

But it's your music so do what you like. I enjoy 'busy' stuff FWIW so I think it's fine for my own tastes

duotone

I liked that, there's nothing that I thought felt/sounded wrong. Good job!

My favourite bit was I especially loved the chords & guitar tone at 2.54 

victorludorum

It's very accomplished and doesn't sound too busy to me, although I'm only listening on a laptop, so I'm probably missing a lot. I'm looking forward to hearing some others now... ;-)

Cirrus

Fretwired said:

That's a good song and I enjoyed listening to it all the way through .. @Danny1969 is right.

Well done though .. I liked the guitar mayhem at around 3:30 ...

Haha, I had fun with that. Wanted to try to give the impression that the song was about to burst into a big final chorus then deliberate deflate into the quiet outro. That lead-ish part is a cranked up Genz Benz Black Pearl with a rat and a Memory Toy so the delays are all scrunched up. I'm not actually convinced I like the Genz Benz that much but I liked it here.

duotone said:

My favourite bit was I especially loved the chords & guitar tone at 2.54 

I fell in love with that sequence going from G to Dsus2/F#  that was how the idea started, really. IIRC the tone is my Mesa Stiletto set the same as in the choruses, just with the volume on my bridge pickup turned down to about 3.

victorludorum said:

I'm looking forward to hearing some others now... ;-)

You might regret saying that in a month or so.  Thanks though! 

spark240

Danny1969 said:

I like them, very atmospheric and interesting. I like your voice too 

I would say though, as a( now retired producer who listens for songs rather than technically listens  ) that to make these songs more palatable to the causal listener things would have to get less busy with more emphasis on the vocal and less busy little parts competing for the space.  

I think what you have done is produce something you like and like minded people on here and around the world would like too but If you did want more mainstream appeal then I think there's better songs under the clutter. In short I think you have gilded the lilly

I would agree here...its a really good song, strong melody and riffs, and if I had done it I would be more than happy, but I think on a mass appeal level I would make it a bit  shorter, I would use that catchy single guitar riff towards the end sooner and build on it.

Great track though...;-)....Oh and Im near Bham ....just sayin.