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What I would say is that SEMH schools are not all the same, there are degrees as with all things. It sounds to me like a nurture group within an SEMH school would be the appropriate provision for your son, but on the other hand if he's been in mainstream education up until now then he can clearly cope with it.
You'll obviously know that routine and familiarity are a huge deal for kids on the spectrum, but not knowing your lad I wouldn't like to hazard an uneducated guess about what's best for him.
Like I say though, I do have lots of experience with both SEMH and ASD and would be more than happy to chat about it for a completely outside opinion.
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Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after youHope you get things sorted. It must be a stress for you all mate.
My wife spoke to the headmaster of his current school late yesterday who said to her "off the record, I would have to deny this conversation if you repeated it" that he and the head of the new proposed school both already knew that the new school they recommended to us was not the right setting for him to go to.
There is another school (which I never knew existed) which is a private school which caters for autistic kids with emotional difficulties.- they are not allowed to recommend it to us because of the potential cost to the LA but if we fight hard enough and long enough the LA would possibly cave in and send him there.
We had similar when he first started school and went to mainstream for the first two years which everyone said was a great idea, it was a disaster and he spent all day every day sat in a corner facing away from the class with a one to one in the name of "inclusion". The mainstream school sat us down and said everyone knew it was going to fly but the way the system works is you had to prove it didn't work before the LA would provide the right setting.
So once again my little boy is a pawn in game of poker between different areas of the education system regardless of the damage to his well being. He thinks he is going to that new school and despite his episode yesterday will be gutted if he can't go there. He said to me last night "Their right dad everything is my fault"
Its lucky for them I'm into guitar playing and not rifle shooting....
is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
Apparently they are now trying to teach him life skills as he has no chance of catching up or even getting on a basic level of where his class is.
He too gets horribly stressed at school, and i imagine it will only get worse. His mum is in constant battle trying to get him the help he's been promised.
I really hope you get something sorted.
I hope you get this sorted out, I really do.
Good luck, mate - holding thumbs that you'll get it sorted out.
There are times when things get very difficult, and very stressful, when its easy to get suspicious about people's motivations in the process. But over the years its turned out for us that everyone is doing their best in difficult circumstances. Definitely had some people go the extra mile for us and genuinely tried to do the best for our kids.
Autism is shit, no magic wands, no cures, no fixes. So outcomes are never going to be more than, well, satisfactory. Constant balancing act between optimism and realism.
I can't even contemplate what life must be like for autistic kids without that kind of family support poor little guys.
don't want to talk bad of school that withdrew offer but their specialist units wouldn't fill me with any confidence if they seem to have zero idea how to handle and react to behavioural aspects of autism and suggest he would likely be better somewhere else that doesn't get up in his face and bring out worst.
i also recommend checking Facebook to see if any local groups for autism as you can ask for feedback on local schools, provision, your rights and exactly who you need to speak to from others who already went through it.
good luck man, i know your torment and struggle, my wee lad is 8, non verbal, no concept of danger, hyper and a flight risk. We had to put our foot down to get him in a specialist school and not mainstream with a small unit.
Let us ken how you get on.
john
I have come across other parents who appear unwilling to accept their reality, which has caused them a lot of ongoing heartache, e.g. insisting on their kids going into mainstream education as if they will "grow out of it". Not saying this applies to anyone here, of course, but I've seen this and it's quite upsetting, really.
In the meantime our son went to a specialist school, and he has made great progress relative to his abilities. Last night he accidentally hurt his sister, and signed "sorry" without us having to prompt him. A small thing, but it's progress.
We're still a bit hit and miss in that particular regard, but we'll get there eventually.
Firstly, you should complain in writing to the relevant authorities over this move. An unscheduled meeting like that is totally out of order.
Secondly, it is frustrating to be bounced around because educational systems. We had the difficulty of discovering that the recently departed on maternity leave SENCO hadn't actually done her job over the last year and had failed to action certain procedures.
Thirdly, you say the special school doesn't tolerate any ASB. If so, then you should query in writing again why the offer was withdrawn and the school's policy regarding ASB (personally I wouldn't class it as ASB. It's a symptom of autism, the physical fleeing response, not him trying to start shit with other people).
Why do you dread the prison school? You might find that it turns out to be the right environment for him. Autism has no certain easy pathway. Something you might consider wrong for him may be successful.
Basically search for all Autism Specialist schools in your area and fight the LEA to get him into one. We have fought tooth and Nail to get my son into one. Took 4 years of fighting
He just is too vulnerable to be in a school with 16 year olds who have been removed from mainstream because of expulsions for violence, stealing cars etc.
He would just get eaten alive.