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My YouTube Channel
My YouTube Channel
My YouTube Channel
My YouTube Channel
On a more positive note, there is nothing quite like your toddler coming and putting their arms around your neck. You also get something of the wonder of life back. As adults we can get quite cynical about things, but being around young kids and seeing their sense of wonder and excitement about things is really good.
Chips are "Plant-based" no matter how you cook them
Donald Trump needs kicking out of a helicopter
I'm personally responsible for all global warming
One of the few advantages of getting older is we're now at an age where I guess people just assume our kids have grown up and left home, no one really asks if we have kids (a lot of people down here in Devon have done that when their kids have grown up and I think people assume we're like them). I would say mrs f had a harder time of it, people would say to her quite openly that they think there must be something wrong with a woman who doesn't want kids (I would react, erm, robustly to this). My mum has never understood us not wanting kids and was quite disappointed when the lump in mrs f womb wasn't a baby but a tumour the size of a grapefruit (thanks mum, we were a bit gutted as well, but cancer can be cured, a kid is for life).
I used to do a lot of contracting, which meant I was always meeting new people in new workplaces and the conversations are always the same, are you married, do you have kids etc? And it was much harder when I was in my 30's as people just expect you to have them.
I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.
It would be a brave person to post about actually regretting having kids, but It'd be interesting to hear it. Those people have to be out there.
Noise, randomness, ballistic uncertainty.
That's what she said.
Noise, randomness, ballistic uncertainty.
@Emp_Fab, I know, wow - where did that come from lol!
There are a few "famous" threads online about women who regret having kids - not hard to search out.
Anyway, good luck to the OP!!
I'd be interested in hearing from people on here who never had kids.
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The choice to have children or not is a very personal one, and there can be a myriad of reasons why some people don't or can't have children. Pressure from people who don't know the full picture and/ or can't stop themselves from projecting their OWN desires onto other people are unwarranted and unjustified.
With that in mind, having children was something I definitely wanted to do, and for as long as I can remember - I have one, a daughter who will be 3 in January.
In reality, it's a bit like being offered a job doing something you love, that is dear to your heart...but finding out the hours are horrendous, the pay is lousy and you have no option to leave or get promoted. If you LOVE doing it, all that is bearable, it can still be fulfilling and satisfying. Imagine being offered the job as a second guitarist in your favourite band for next to no money? You'd still wanna do it, right?
But then imagine the same offer but it's NOT a job that is dear to your heart, it's something you will resent doing, something that will be a chore and not fulfil you as a person. How do you commit to that?
I am fortunate to come from parents that, whilst no more faultless than any of us, clearly love me and support me - OK sometimes I question the way they show it, but point being they chose to have me. I was wanted.
I am sure there are a number of forumites whose story is not the same, however, people who could (I'm not suggesting they should, it's a personal thing) tell us what it's like to grow up with a father who DID resent their presence.
Now, I'm not trying to scare anyone or put anyone off...simply: It is a BIG DEAL having children. Wonderful, heartbursting but BIG. It WILL change your life, it will change YOU, it will change how big you are in the world you live in - suddenly you won't be at the centre of it, that's for sure..
For me, if I'd know exactly what it was going to be like, I'd have been more terrified than I was. But I would still have done it. For others, they would have chosen to walk away. Each to their own. No right or wrong answer. Parenthood is for some people, for others it is not..neither is the better person for that.
My YouTube Channel
I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.