Wives / Girlfriends and their seemingly never ending 'list of jobs'

Col_Decker

So Mrs.Decker is taking herself and the kids away for a few nights on Sunday morning to go visiting in-laws in deep dark east midlands. Alas I can't go as I can't take the time off work .... oh no!!!

So she says to me 'what you gonna do sunday?', to which I reply giving her a list of stuff 'I' need to do. Mainly stuff on the van, like fixing a few rust patches, sorting a loose wheel bearing, etc. 'Good idea' she says.

Then yesterday she asked what I was going to do on Sunday? Err the van I says. 'How long is that gonna take?" she says.

FFS then out comes The List.

mend the fence

mow the lawns

trim the hedge

clean the pond

Women, you can't live with them, and .... that is all. 

Sporky

My list of chores for this evening was: 

• Change from work to play clothes (already put out for me)
• Drink Fanta (brought to me)
• Play Monster Hunter
• Put dinner in the oven
• Take dinner out of the oven
• Eat dinner
• Watch telly
• Go to bed
  

octatonic

If Mrs Oct delivered a list like that I would be immediately writing 'For Janet to do' on the top of it and sticking to the fridge.

Then I'd jizz in her pants drawer and go to the pub.

.

.

.

.

Please don't tell her I said this.

Col_Decker

Just to be clear, said jobs won't be getting done. Then an argument will happen. Then jobs will be done. By me.

octatonic

Sporky said:

My list of chores for this evening was: 

• Change from work to play clothes (already put out for me)
• Drink Fanta (brought to me)
• Play Monster Hunter
• Put dinner in the oven
• Take dinner out of the oven
• Eat dinner
• Watch telly
• Go to bed
  

No jizzing in pants drawers for you then?

For shame.

axisus

I'd just give her a list of things she could do for me. You, do one of mine I'll do one of yours.

PolarityMan

Im also being made to fix the fence this weekend, i only did the other one a few weeks ago

TTony

Sporky said:

My list of chores for this evening was: 

• Change from work to play clothes (already put out for me)
• Drink Fanta (brought to me)
• Play Monster Hunter
• Put dinner in the oven
• Take dinner out of the oven
• Eat dinner
• Watch telly
• Go to bed
  

I don't understand why there was a whole load of stuff between

• change from work to play clothes

and

• go to bed

 

???

Sporky

Not that sort of play clothes. We don't all look as good as you in a gimp suit.

Antique_Guitars

I am usually the one telling the wife things she has to do.............. like tidy up her shit!

Drew_TNBD

Wow. My wife never does this bullshit! Actually I'm the one always mocking her for how messy she can be! I'm no neat-freak, but I tidy up when I feel it is necessary. Quite happy to let the washing up sit there for a day or two whilst I do other more important stuff - like watching playthroughs of playstation games on Youtube.

But yeah; if she ever gave me a list like that, I'd do what Jim said, except I'd actually do it!!

It's just a bit... I dunno... fuckin' mumsy I suppose. Piss off, I aint your kid, I'm a grown man!

digitalscream

To be honest...as long as it doesn't interfere with work (I work from home), I actually appreciate the odd list of jobs that my wife comes up with - my short term memory is fucking useless, so even when I spot stuff that needs doing, I've usually forgotten it 20 minutes later. I tend to be focused on one or two specific tasks and completely miss the massive pile of washing that needs to be sorted, even though it's sitting right outside my office door.

Then again...it's a bit different to most, because wifey had fairly major spinal surgery last December (a routine disc removal that went horribly wrong through no fault of the medical staff) so I have to do pretty much everything that involves lifting or bending, otherwise she'll try to do it. I just forget to do it all...

Phil_aka_Pip

what is it with wimmin? the gf comes to stay and she'd rather clean my kitchen than sit down & watch a video. My mum comes to stay and she's whingeing about this & that and all I can say is "Mum, it was never a problem until you arrived"

octatonic

Drew_fx said:

I'm a grown man!

Well, let's not go crazy here.

spacecadet

My wifes job list for me this weekend includes:

Mow front and back gardens
Cut front and back hedge
Weed back garden
Sweep patio
Clean two bathrooms
Hoover house
Clean both cars
Clean all house windows inside and out
Tidy garage

My list of jobs

Play football with my boy
Teach my boy how to ride his bike
Learn 3 hours of songs I don't know for a dep gig on Sunday
Have a big long poo

I wonder what jobs I will get done!

chillidoggy

I'd imagine the big long poo would be first on the list, but beyond that, I'm struggling.

octatonic

spacecadet said:

My wifes job list for me this weekend includes:

Mow front and back gardens
Cut front and back hedge
Weed back garden
Sweep patio
Clean two bathrooms
Hoover house
Clean both cars
Clean all house windows inside and out
Tidy garage

My list of jobs

Play football with my boy
Teach my boy how to ride his bike
Learn 3 hours of songs I don't know for a dep gig on Sunday
Have a big long poo

I wonder what jobs I will get done!

What are her jobs?

spacecadet

octatonic said:

What are her jobs?

Ride and groom her horses.

Drew_TNBD

That's what she tells you. What she's really doing is slagging you off to all her "friends" on Mumsnet.

octatonic

spacecadet said:

octatonic said:

What are her jobs?

Ride and groom her horses.

Sounds dull- reckon you got the better deal.

Seriously- employ a cleaner.

We've had a housekeeper/cleaner for the last 10 years.

It saves so many arguments.

Drew_TNBD

^ Ooooo get you wit' ya slavery!!