How much compromise / is it worth it? (band questions)

RocknRollDave

"How much compromise?"

Only you can answer that.
Every band involves compromise over material - either you have a band leader who dictates what you play and the other members are happy with the compromise of being told what to do, or you have a band that operates as a democracy, in which each band member has to live with only having a percentage of the say.
Even famous originals bands have this issue - Mick Jagger's not particularly fond of Tumbling Dice, but it's a big hit with the fanbase so they play it often, for example.

There are all kinds of compromises involved in being in a band - what songs you'll play is obviously one, but also what are you going to wear? Where are you prepared to gig? How often? Who gets this solo or that part..?     You'll just know when you are happy and when you're not...and when you're not it's time to speak up and face the fact that you'll either be listened to or it is time to ship out.

hotpickups

LOL getting everyone to agree on clothing/theme is the biggest problem in my band believe it or not LOL. Everyone's a fashion victim all of a sudden

RocknRollDave

@hotpickups Yes, it can be one of those issues that really causes division in a band, can't it?

We're a wedding band, so really it has to be smart gear, which is easy enough, but as the oldest and most overweight member of the band I have had to distance myself from some of the most fashion-conscious suggestions over the years...Who wants to look like the rest of the band's dad trying to be down with the kidz?!

PVO_Dave

Lot of really good input in here, thanks to all who replied

I made the decision today, but I based it on the family side of things in the end, I couldn't in good conscious take four hours out of an evening and not give my wife a break from dealing with the baby, not fair on her, especially as I don't think my heart is really in it either. 

monquixote

I've been there. 

I quit a band a month before my daughter was born. I was bimbling along not enjoying it that much, but impending fatherhood made me really resent the time I needed to spend practicing etc.

It puts life into sharp focus.

hotpickups

PVO_Dave said:

Lot of really good input in here, thanks to all who replied

I made the decision today, but I based it on the family side of things in the end, I couldn't in good conscious take four hours out of an evening and not give my wife a break from dealing with the baby, not fair on her, especially as I don't think my heart is really in it either. 

I think that's a good decision at this particular time in your life. You can always pick up from where you left off with the bands in a couple of years time.

Actually I clean forgot about you the thread originator. I've been enjoying all the input too

meltedbuzzbox

PVO_Dave said:

Lot of really good input in here, thanks to all who replied

I made the decision today, but I based it on the family side of things in the end, I couldn't in good conscious take four hours out of an evening and not give my wife a break from dealing with the baby, not fair on her, especially as I don't think my heart is really in it either. 

You got there before I was going to suggest it. 

Ultimately if you are unhappy and you cant make head way you end up resenting the band and dislike doing it. 

midlifecrisis

good decision choice. you will know when you are ready to go back to band playing again.