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I personally feel the way around it is knowing the songs stone cold dead - enough that you barely have to look at your guitar.
Use the force Master Luke...
So I think, what would I like to see and try to include a bit of that.
My aim is to, look like you're into it, that you're enjoying being up there, that what you're playing moves you, that you're perfectly in control of your instrument.
A cross between Angus Young and Steve Vai in movement terms.
Everyone is nervous when they perform, but you can look confident by controlling the outward signs of nervousness. So, either stand very still, or make expansive, decisive movements -- don't fidget or shuffle around. Fix your gaze in or above the audience -- don't look at your toes, or glance at the audience and then immediately look away as if avoiding eye contact. Talk clearly and loudly or don't talk at all -- don't mumble.
not moving you then don’t expect it to move them. Never look apologetic for being onstage .. just enjoy it. I used to stand so still they called me the corpse, a couple of thousand gigs changed that but I wish I was more confident earlier in my musical career
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.
But yeah you're allowed to enjoy yourself and live in the moment. For about anything else going on and play like its the last time.
Visibly interacting with other band members. Turning round to look at them when they have a key part in the song such as a solo, or even a crash on the drums.
Looking at the back row of audience, and acknowledging anyone who responds to you with a smile or nod, or a wave if you’re not playing. American politicians are taught to walk onto a stage and wave or point at people, often imaginary people, to generate a sense of interaction.
Practising small, irrelevant things until they're completely instinctive - taking mics off stands and putting it back (if you're likely to do that sort of thing), putting on and taking off the guitar, that sort of thing. Literally practising, like scales. Things you'd think were just ridiculously simple until you're onstage trying to do them and go all Mr Bean.
For the music that I play nerves or self-conciousness doesn't really come into it. Whether there's 5 people there or a packed room going nuts my job is to play the songs adequately and thrash about like a lunatic for as much of the set as possible. My main challenge is my fitness, i.e. will I die of exhaustion or drown in my own sweat before the last song is done? Who knows.... it's all part of the fun.
Thinking about it a bit more cynically (in the sense that we'd all love to think that what we do is pure art and it "just comes out") I suppose recognising that what you're doing is a performance, and an equal, if not bigger, part of that for the audience is what it LOOKS like on stage, with the sound often being a secondary. For me I became more comfortable when I could identify parts and passages that are a little easier to play or the lick is in a part of the fretboard where I can say, lift the guitar up and still nail it, or which riffs I can headbang like a nutter and not miss a note - and on the otherside which parts do I really need to focus on playing (either because they're tricky or I'm singing as well) and maybe just bop along to, or nod my head, get the power stance on etc.
I guess what I'm saying is get comfortable with your set, and have an awareness of which parts you could be a bit more engaging with the crowd and maybe what does that look like for your vibe/band/genre? I wouldn't do the above mentalness if I were playing at a blues jam, and likewise you wouldn't stare at your feet at an 80's hair rock gig. Give the people what they want.
One thing that changed the game for me a little bit confidence-wise is the simple truth that the audience WANT to have a good time. They already want you to be awesome and they're ready for you to be kickass and to be on your side. It's really very rare that a room of people expect you to be shite (or why would they have bought a ticket?!) and are there to laugh at you. And if they are? Well, show 'em that they were wrong.
I think interacting and feeding off of the other band members to convey that "we are having a good time" feeling is a good way to go.
I don't think "be confident and it'll be fine" works out. I like the mantra of "Be confident, but have something to be confident about"
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Many moons ago when a new band was getting ready for it’s first gig we videoed a practice (which we treated as a dress rehearsal). When we played it back we were quite shocked as to how small our movements were. You need to exaggerate everything – BE BIG, fill whatever space there is, command attention.
Rule of thumb, would you be comfortable walking down the street in the clothes that you wear on stage? If the answer is yes, go and change.