B & Qusic

randomhandclaps

As we are swapping bedrooms with our two boys and in the midst of decoration I seem to have spent an unhealthy amount of the past two weeks in B&Q.  I would just like to say that if anyone around these parts is responsible for any of those most horrendous cover versions that they very unhelpfully pump out whilst you are trying to calculate hardboard coverage, then you are an evil arse.  That is all.

Emp_Fab

Have you noticed lots of these muzak versions are missing the groove of the original, so they become regimented marches.  Like a Radio 3 orchestra attempting modern pop songs.

lustycourtier

I do find it strange, once licencing etc is paid can it be that much cheaper than PRS?

randomhandclaps

lustycourtier said:

I do find it strange, once licencing etc is paid can it be that much cheaper than PRS?

This is a real puzzle to me, unless I suppose if they are supplied premade by a company and feature in shops around the world.

Emp_Fab said:

Have you noticed lots of these muzak versions are missing the groove of the original, so they become regimented marches.  Like a Radio 3 orchestra attempting modern pop songs.

They also sound like shortly before hitting record the 'producer' hired a big guy to punch the singer repeatedly in the kidneys and ribs.

VimFuego

I believe it is similar to the music they play in abattoirs to keep the soon to be carcasses calm and subdued.

randomhandclaps

That's probably a very constructive use of it as there are plenty of times I stand vacantly in an aisle thinking that a bolt to the head would be sweet relief.

VimFuego

and the captive bolt guns can be found in aisle 3.

jonnyburgo

Wilkinsons play it too, Musak Biffy Clyro the other day

mike_l

I have a colleague who most lunchtimes goes to either B&Q or Wickes.

He is old though, so probably deaf........

VimFuego

I used to work on a small industrial estate on the outskirts of St Albans which was miles from anywhere and the only nearby shops were a Wickes, a Homebase and a B&Q. Many a lunchtime was spent wandering around aimlessly with the other lost souls who worked there.

mike_l

Scanning for victims Vim?

equalsql

I helped out on some muzak recording sessions many moons ago. The rules were 'no distortion' and 'no string bending'!
It was as much fun as it sounds 
:-S

imported_none

I worked at B&Q for 2 years and they didn't play muzak/cover versions but they did play the same 8 or 9 songs over and over again on a loop. I must have heard Keane 'Everybody's Changing', Take That 'Rule the World' and PJ & Duncan 'Let's get Ready to Rumble' more times than I've heard any other songs ever.

mike_l

imported_none said:

I worked at B&Q for 2 years and they didn't play muzak/cover versions but they did play the same 8 or 9 songs over and over again on a loop. I must have heard Keane 'Everybody's Changing', Take That 'Rule the World' and PJ & Duncan 'Let's get Ready to Rumble' more times than I've heard any other songs ever.

You poor, poor man. I take it you've had counselling?

randomhandclaps

imported_none said:

I worked at B&Q for 2 years and they didn't play muzak/cover versions but they did play the same 8 or 9 songs over and over again on a loop. I must have heard Keane 'Everybody's Changing', Take That 'Rule the World' and PJ & Duncan 'Let's get Ready to Rumble' more times than I've heard any other songs ever.

Company behaviour like that could easily explain some of these figures in the 5th and 7th column -

http://fogbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Work-related-stress-graph.png

chillidoggy

That's it, then. I'm giving up work if it's that bad for my health.

mudslide73

Kwik Save was the same. I had a mate who said he couldn't tell the difference between the musac and the real versions. Having said all that I'm in a cover band - isn't that nearly the same thing?

mart

mudslide73 said:

Kwik Save was the same. I had a mate who said he couldn't tell the difference between the musac and the real versions. Having said all that I'm in a cover band - isn't that nearly the same thing?

It depends ... do you ever use distortion, or bend strings?

Sambostar

I worked in a factory once where they had a seven song loop, the seventh song was Cher's 'Do you believe in life after love'.  You know the one with the synthesized wobbly voice tremolo.

After a few months I almost put my head in the vacuum packing press.

boogieman

I was in B&Q today. They were playing a rubbish cover version of Can't get enough of your Love. The good thing about it was it made me feel like a decent guitarist.

viz

Emp_Fab said:

Have you noticed lots of these muzak versions are missing the groove of the original, so they become regimented marches.  Like a Radio 3 orchestra attempting modern pop songs.

or the rpo doing classical music to a rock beat