I have an ad on bandmix looking for a vocalist to potentially put together an acoustic duo/trio. Exchanged a few messages and a few song ideas and booked to meet up. Had to manage expectations a bit with some of the song choices but this wasn’t a problem as you sometimes never know what will work until you try it. She is apparently a member of several choirs and has been for years. She turned up yesterday with some lyrics for songs we’d discussed.
Arrived, obviously nervous, but refused a brew- “only water when I’m singing…” A bit overly technical I thought but live and let live. Turned out to be totally tone deaf- with no idea how to pitch or control her voice, with pretty poor timing too. At times it was painful. I tried to give the benefit of the doubt for a few songs to see if she found her range/nerves wore off. But it really was terrible-. At one point I went into my lounge where my OH was sitting to grab a capo. Her WTF is this look was reassuring that I wasn’t missing something.
So for the first time in my half dozen or so blind auditions I’ve had to let someone down there and then… no “I’ll let you know” no “I’ll have a think about it.”
Then she asked me if I liked her voice? I honestly couldn’t lie and say yes but I’m not someone who thrives on conflict and direct negativity so came up with something about nerves and not being ready-also said to keep singing with her choirs. Should have told her to record herself and listen back but thought of this after the event.
The cheek of it was after she left I received a text saying she didn’t think we really gelled. I totally get the need to feel like she retained some control but it really made me chuckle. Wish I’d recorded something now to remind me of how bad things can be. Maybe I should also insist on hearing a recording beforehand. Maybe just give up on the whole idea.
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It's usually immediately clear within 5 seconds that it isn't gonna work - but I'll never be rude even if it is a waste of time. I'll do a couple or so songs to keep the vibe positive (I'm no Simon Cowell), followed by a "I'll be in touch" and subsequently sending a text to say we've found someone more appropriate?
I did once go round someone's house, sat down with an acoustic and after shooting the breeze asked the guy right ... what song do you want to do.?
- "Oh .. I'm an entertainer - you've got to see my video here on the telly with a previous band".
He outright refused to sing in the room with me the whole time I was there.
It's one of the reasons I learnt to sing. I just got tired of Search For a Star and figured I could make a better fist of this...
"Who is this? Do you want to order a pizza or not?"
Sorry OP, I'm not sure what you can do. Tell her you're moving to Costa Rica?
If it was ok/good then maybe she's telling the truth about the other songs.
If she wasn't even good on the 4Non Blondes tune then it's a firm no.
when do you want to meet up?
some washing up 5 mins before playing and refusing because it would soften my nails.
Nope. Even on that one her tuning was off and she followed my harmonies when I added them.
“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
thanks for the eternal love and support then dear!!!
Music - will I enjoy playing the songs and style of music or am will I be out of my depth - either my skills are not up to the job or the job will not be using my skills?
Mates - will I enjoy being with my bandmates such that when we go through a tough patch, I still want to hang out with them and help make it work?
Money - will I earn enough to cover my expenses, my wages, my dreams, or is this another pay to play situation?
Mission - what does the group want to achieve - have some fun? Serve some purpose? What targets are we wanting to hit - maybe chart positions or festival appearances, TV, radio or magazine appearances or interviews?
I don't need all 4 to work in a band but finding out the band's expectations for each of these goes a long way to helping me to make a wiser decision that when I started out and was simply happy to get the job.
I don't think the second text requires much more than a "Thanks for the offer but agree we didn't gel - good luck in your search". Politeness costs nothing, but 'no' is a complete sentence and you don't have to justify your decision any more than you would after a bad date or interview.