today my son turned 13 years old

underdog

But I've not seen him since he was 10, today is the shittiest day of my year

Edit: sorry for the moping, self indulgent thread

Strat_a_tat_tat

Hope that changes for you real soon

kin

I know it won't help you today but each birthday brings him closer to the day when he'll be old enough to make his own mind up who he can see.

chillidoggy

Sorry to hear that, hope you're OK. I can't imagine what that must be like. Take care.

xSkarloey

I hope you find a way to get back to him. 

You have nothing to apologise about. At least you can talk about it. 

My thoughts are with you. 

dafuzz

*hugs*

Sorry, I don't know the background to this. Feel free to elaborate / ask for advice. Dealing with my ex so I can see my daughter regularly is an ongoing struggle for me, I'm sure others too.

Very best wishes in any case

Drew_TNBD

Mate, sorry to hear that. I have a lot of sympathy for this situation, all my best. Hope you can get it resolved.

underdog

Me and his mother split when he was 3 (we'd been together 10 years) other than the first couple months after the split, I've seen him regularly all his life, with periods of me being his main parent, those first couple of months after the split were spent in court getting access.

A few periods between then and him turning 10 where his mother stopped access but by then he had chosen to live with me and my wife during school week as his mother was some how incapable of getting him to school regular enough.

Then his mother got pregnant, she told him some lies, and due to his age the court have no interes in discovering why I've not seen him since.

Cheers for the collective shoulders to mope on.

randomhandclaps

Sorry to hear that mate.  Would tear me up.  Hope it all rights itself somehow.

No need to apologise for anything either.

Drew_TNBD

underdog said:

Me and his mother split when he was 3 (we'd been together 10 years) other than the first couple months after the split, I've seen him regularly all his life, with periods of me being his main parent, those first couple of months after the split were spent in court getting access.

A few periods between then and him turning 10 where his mother stopped access but by then he had chosen to live with me and my wife during school week as his mother was some how incapable of getting him to school regular enough.

Then his mother got pregnant, she told him some lies, and due to his age the court have no interes in discovering why I've not seen him since.

Cheers for the collective shoulders to mope on.

He'll feel an urge to get in touch eventually, and you can set the story straight. My friend Sam didn't see his dad for all of his childhood, because of his mum. But now they're very close and love each other and it's almost like it never happened.

thomasross20

Seems guys always get the raw deal wish things like this pop up. I don't have kids and maybe never will, but my sympathies to you and hope things improve with time

Deijavoo

randomhandclaps said:

No need to apologise for anything either.

Seconded. That must be so tough sir. All the best to you.

littlegreenman

My Dad missed my 13th, and 16th, 18th and 21st. But that was down to him rather than anyone else. I dare say your lad will miss you in his own way despite what's going on, becoming a teenager can be a big deal and not sharing it with you will almost certainly cross his mind at least a tad.

Fast forward 20+ years and me and my Dad now get on famously when we do get together and I've left the past where it belongs. Easy to say, but I hope in a few years when he's his own man you'll both be able to do the same, even though it sucks right now. You may never get these years back, but as long as it turns out right in the end you won't have to. Despite all the stuff I went through with him not being there over the years, in the end he's still me old man and I love him, even if he is a bit of a dick

Hootsmon

hang in there Bro

*thinking of you*

monofin

Man that must be hard for you.

All the best and hope you can work something out to get access

underdog

Thank you all. He was my everything, and I was his idol, so sad he misses so much and my 4 year old only remembers his brothers name, not what he looks like or things about him.

breakstuff

What a crap situation.

Don't worry about venting here.There's always loads is sympathetic ears and in most cases someone who has or is going through a similar situation.A problem shared and all that.

All the best.

jellyroll

I've been through something similar and have come out the other end. My ex took my daughter to the USA when she was 6. Now she's 18 and we are close (& argues with her mother constantly because she's "just like her dad"). Hang in there. NEVER give up on your son. You won't get the years back but you can have a future.

monquixote

That must be awful. 

Depriving you two of that relationship is a horrific thing to do. I think I'd go mad if I couldn't see my kids. 

I hope it works out for you in the long run.

underdog

The hardest thing is I could drive to his house in less than 5 minutes, I can see his school in the distance from my kitchen window.

boogieman

That sucks. Hope the situation gets resolved at some stage.
*Manhug*.