Mary had...

stonevibe

"Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the side and every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front, but she didn't wear that one very often."

Or my personal favourite.

"Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal. It stole into her room one night and ate her fucking soul."

fretmeister

Mary had a little lamb
It was full of life and frisky
Then it caught BSE
Now it's black and crispy.

TinLip

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a bear

I've seen Mary's little lamb 

but I've never seen here bare

speshul91

mary had a little lamb

she tied it to a pylon

50,000 volts went up its arse

and turned its wool to nylon

boogieman

Mary had a little pig
And it was always gruntin'
She tied it to the garden fence
And kicked it's little head in

Evilmags

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor was astounded

Evilmags

Everywhere that Mary went
Gynaecologists surrounded

scrumhalf

Mary had a little lamb
she also had a cat
then Tommy Cooper came along
and killed it - just like that.

Nunogilberto

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
And now she takes her lamb to school
Between two halves of bread...

Nunogilberto

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would... dance...

Emp_Fab

Mary had a little lamb

She kept it in a bucket

Every time the lamb got out,

the Bulldog used to put it back.

PolarityMan

stonevibe;37301" said:

"Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal. It stole into her room one night and ate her fucking soul."

This one was pretty funny i thought.

Phil_aka_Pip

Mary had a little lamb,

Perhaps you heard before.

But Percy passed his plate again,

To have a little more.

@Nunogilberto you beat me to it

west

Mary had a little lamb,
she kept it in her yard,
when she took her panties off,
his wooly dick got hard ....

lloyd

a yeast infection it's pus was white as snow

Hootsmon

...dock was called Fishy by her friends 

equalsql

Mary had a little lamb

It really was a glutton

It kept on eating Hagen Das

And now it's frozen mutton.

Hootsmon

had a little lamb

the obstetrician fainted...

BGG

Mary had a little lamb

She couldn't stop it squeaking

She chased it up the garden path

And kicked it's fecking teeth in.

Hootsmon

Mary Had

got fucked by a young local lad, Tom Wad

so Had and Wad, in order not tae make their Dads  mad

had tae get wed

then the Wads had a lad .....who, as you well know, could have been a bastirt

Dalefty

And for some reason I thought this was going to have something to do with Stevie Ray Vaughan's Mary Had A Little Lamb;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIeHeUCtM2Q

DaLefty