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Comments
Remember, it's easier to criticise than create!
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."
That's all well and good until some twat nicks one. Not that I'd ever do something like that. Not me. No way.
Possibly
Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
Offset "(Emp) - a little heavy on the hyperbole."