Words that grind your gears

Sambostar

'Gooday!'

No it's not, the heavens are spawning a thousand buckets of cold piss per second, the wind is howling an unholy gale force storm and I have forgotten what the sun looks like under fiver layers of cloud dank grey cover, day after day after day after furking day.  Oh God when will it end.

It's a furking shite day.

I much prefer 'How yer going?'

The answer is much simpler.

kjdowd

"lookbook" instead of "catalogue". A new one on me today, but has shot straight to the top of the charts.

Sporky

Everyone knows it's chimminey.

octatonic

Phil_aka_Pip

octatonic said:

Sambostar said:

Yeah I find that is deeply patronising to the people who pay their wage, whilst allowing them time to make up an answer on the spot.

I'm finding the 'I/we pay your wage' thing a bit tiresome, so let's add that to the list.

May be tiresome, but its true. And it's about time they started serving them that pay them ... oops perhaps they already are

Sambostar

Mary Poppins God damn it I thought I had erased that from my memory with thirty years of mind bleach and now it's back again.

On the subject of stuff in that genre, 'Whip Crack Away' from the dreaded Paint Your Wagon.

In fact anything anyone says or especially sings in musicals. Absolutely anything at all.

God I hate Musicals, in fact the word Musical itself as well.

They are sent here from hell in an effort to test your self control in not committing mass genocide from the effects of repetitive, extraneous lyrical melody.

rossyamaha

Targets! 

I jest of course. Ish.

rossyamaha

Whatever (also whatevs and any other mispronunciation or spelling around). It seems to flow so smoothly and often from my kids mouths. 

bluenile

The misuse of literally always works as a handy twat filter

Sarge

Bump.

Heartfeltdawn

"Sloppy"

Used eternally by sports commentators.

Sporky

rossyamaha said:

Targets! 

I jest of course. Ish.

My new job is in technical sales but has no targets or commission. It's lovely!

rossyamaha said:

Whatever (also whatevs and any other mispronunciation or spelling around). It seems to flow so smoothly and often from my kids mouths. 

What about bee-eff-dubs? I like BF-Dubs.

Rocker

When a shop assistant asks "are you OK?", when she/he means "can I be of assistance/whatdaya want?", I always answer "yes thank you, I want.....". The look on their faces is priceless.......

axisus

Rocker said:

When a shop assistant asks "are you OK?", when she/he means "can I be of assistance/whatdaya want?", I always answer "yes thank you, I want.....". The look on their faces is priceless.......

You should say 'not really' and collapse on the floor

Sambostar

Rocker said:

When a shop assistant asks "are you OK?", when she/he means "can I be of assistance/whatdaya want?", I always answer "yes thank you, I want.....". The look on their faces is priceless.......

I don't, I call it as it is, an open invitation to give them my thoughts on life, the universe, why we are here, the banality of modern society and the social acceptance of ginger prejudice, it usually takes about 4 hours.

Snap

octatonic said:

"Man flu" when referring to actually having flu.

A friend's girlfriend wrote it today on FB: "Thanks Mike, I now have your man-flu".

No you don't.

You have Mike's flu.

and on this, people saying "the flu" - I've got"the flu".

Right, you big ponce of a hypochondriac......

1: its flu, not the flu
2. you more than likely have a bloody cold, not flu, which is horrendous and last about 2 weeks, kills the infirm, and will have you laid in bed for at least a week, not just a bit of a temperature and some aches and pains, take some paracetamol and stop chuffing whingin you big sap.

and "man flu" takes it up to another level of ponce. Any bloke who says "ohh, I've got man ful" needs a firm kneeing up the arse, and a dead leg, maybe a dead arm too.

Here's one- when you send someone an email, and they reply "thanks for reaching out...."

wtf are you on about?

Nikko

Snap said:

octatonic said:

"Man flu" when referring to actually having flu.

A friend's girlfriend wrote it today on FB: "Thanks Mike, I now have your man-flu".

No you don't.

You have Mike's flu.

and on this, people saying "the flu" - I've got"the flu".

Right, you big ponce of a hypochondriac......

1: its flu, not the flu
2. you more than likely have a bloody cold, not flu, which is horrendous and last about 2 weeks, kills the infirm, and will have you laid in bed for at least a week, not just a bit of a temperature and some aches and pains, take some paracetamol and stop chuffing whingin you big sap.

and "man flu" takes it up to another level of ponce. Any bloke who says "ohh, I've got man ful" needs a firm kneeing up the arse, and a dead leg, maybe a dead arm too.

Here's one- when you send someone an email, and they reply "thanks for reaching out...."

wtf are you on about?

A Chinese burn could also be in order.

Snap

yes, and maybe a losing streak in a game of raps. Or slaps, at least 5 free slaps are in order.

snakemanStoo

Nah, to be made to walk barefoot across a floor of scattered lego pieces.

Sporky

And 13-amp plugs.