Useless superpowers

quarky

Guitar related, how about being able to detune a guitar by telekinesis.. What would yours be?

octatonic

Become Yngwie Malmsteen.

HAL9000

I reckon the most useless superpower is probably the United States 

Heartfeltdawn

True Bypass Man - no tone suck around this crime fighter. 

Yodel Boy - never around when you need him but there's always a note claiming he was there and he'll be back tomorrow. 

The Mighty Milliband - bacon is his Kryptonite. 

Phil_aka_Pip

wank-widdle at the speed of light

HAL9000

Procrastinator Man...

Bewildered cop: 'This looks like a job for Procrastinator Man'

Procrastinator Man: 'I'll do it later'

Sambostar

Ginger supremiscist.

Winny_Pooh

Theres loads of Super Tone Suck Man guitarists out there playing Les Pauls & PRSs into botique amps.

Emp_Fab

You've so got to see Mystery Men !!

sinbaadi

Shepherd: Can loosely approximate the location of sheep.
Negative Buoyancy Boy. Does not float.
Breeze. Like storm but an irrelevant waft.

randomhandclaps

octatonic said:

Become Yngwie Malmsteen.

I concur completely with the exception of an Alive style plane crash starvation survival situation.

57Deluxe

Bend minds...

PolarityMan

Left handedness

10thumbs

This thread reminds me of a black comedy called The Misfits , on telly about 5yrs ago.

Shy guy nobody noticed , had the power of invisibility , but nobody noticed he was gone.

Gorgeous girl had the power to make any man want her.

Really ,really annoying twat , couldn't be killed .

Paranoid girl could only hear the thoughts of people who were thinking bad things about her.

also , the power to make somebodies hair fall out, the power to manipulate milk etc.

Brilliant show , first two or three series were excellent , went a bit downhill for the last two though.

ICBM

I have the power to bore people rigid from thousands of miles away.

quarky

Or the ability to play every song badly.