Apparently I look like I should work in Co-op.

octatonic

Just had a weird trip to the shops.

I need to tell you what I was wearing, because it seems that wearing, biker boots, black jeans and a Belstaff jacket (was on the bike) is too close to the Co-op employees uniform of black trousers and a black zip-up sweater for people to be able to tell the difference.

I was getting my bits and pieces, somewhat distracted by the task at hand and a woman walked up to me and said "Where are your eggs?", fairly rudely I might add.

I thought she was talking to the person behind me, who was not working there but look at egg-lady and she was looking right at me, clearly thinking I was an employee.

Because there was a delay in me responding while I was working it out she rather aggressively repeated her request with one word.

"EGGS!" she repeated, louder this time, as though she was talking to a simpleton.

At that point a small woman with a name badge walked over to see what was happening.

By this time I was able to respond with "Oh, do you think I work here?" to egg-woman.

Rather than apologise she just wordlessly stormed off to wander the aisles, no doubt on her egg quest.

The Co-op employee apologised for egg-woman, which I said was unnecessary but enquired if that was how people speak to her on a daily basis.

She didn't respond but she did not need to.

(I must remember to be extra nice to people who work in shops- what a thankless job.)

So I wandered a bit more and another person, this time a bloke, said 'Where is the hummus?' in my direction.

By this time I was wise to it and I responded with "I'm sorry sir, but Co-op has decided that you are all too fat and we've stopped selling hummus until you all lose some weight' and turned on my heel.

He was spluttering at me until I said loudly "I DON"T WORK HERE".

The employee who apologised earlier was working at the till when I was there, and Egg lady was a couple of people behind me.

We chatted while she rung things up for me and throwing egg-woman a quick look I bid the employee farewell with 'Have an Eggcellent Day'.

viz

octatonic said:

Just had a weird trip to the shops.

I need to tell you what I was wearing, because it seems that wearing, biker boots, black jeans and a Belstaff jacket (was on the bike) is too close to the Co-op employees uniform of black trousers and a black zip up sweater for people to be able to tell the difference.

I was getting my bits and pieces, somewhat distracted by the task at hand and a woman walked up to me and said "Where are your eggs?" ,

I think she'd noticed your tight trousers and was just wondering why she couldn't see 'em.

Handsome_Chris

octatonic said:

Just had a weird trip to the shops.

I need to tell you what I was wearing, because it seems that wearing, biker boots, black jeans and a Belstaff jacket (was on the bike) is too close to the Co-op employees uniform of black trousers and a black zip-up sweater for people to be able to tell the difference.

I was getting my bits and pieces, somewhat distracted by the task at hand and a woman walked up to me and said "Where are your eggs?", fairly rudely I might add.

I thought she was talking to the person behind me, who was not working there but look at egg-lady and she was looking right at me, clearly thinking I was an employee.

Because there was a delay in me responding while I was working it out she rather aggressively repeated her request with one word.

"EGGS!" she repeated, louder this time, as though she was talking to a simpleton.

At that point a small woman with a name badge walked over to see what was happening.

By this time I was able to respond with "Oh, do you think I work here?" to egg-woman.

Rather than apologise she just wordlessly stormed off to wander the aisles, no doubt on her egg quest.

The Co-op employee apologised for egg-woman, which I said was unnecessary but enquired if that was how people speak to her on a daily basis.

She didn't respond but she did not need to.

(I must remember to be extra nice to people who work in shops- what a thankless job.)

So I wandered a bit more and another person, this time a bloke, said 'Where is the hummus?' in my direction.

By this time I was wise to it and I responded with "I'm sorry sir, but Co-op has decided that you are all too fat and we've stopped selling hummus until you all lose some weight' and turned on my heel.

He was spluttering at me until I said loudly "I DON"T WORK HERE".

The employee who apologised earlier was working at the till when I was there, and Egg lady was a couple of people behind me.

We chatted while she rung things up for me and throwing egg-woman a quick look I bid the employee farewell with 'Have an Eggcellent Day'.

So, @Octatonic, where were the eggs?

octatonic

Fucked if I know- I buy ours from the local farmer.

mellowsun

Classic. 

Reminds me of Sunday, my wife and I were doing some voluntary work helping to refurb a garden at an English Heritage place near where we live.

Some retired folk walked past, tutted, and sat down on a bench nearby. 'Everything is volunteers now, no wonder it's in such a state. Boris will get them proper jobs now we're out of Europe'

I nearly pissed myself laughing. Afterwards, I wish I'd told the chap that I spend 60 hours a week running a software company, and this is my relaxation time.

RandallFlagg

I would have told her that we no longer sell eggs as we are leaving the EU, in fact all supermarkets will be closing down soon as we return to little England grocers, butchers and corner shops, all fridges will be outlawed and everyone will have to keep food in a pantry

strumjoughlamps

RandallFlagg said:

and everyone will have to keep food in a pantry

which is where you keep eggs

@octatonic what is wrong with hummus?

professorben

This happens to me on an almost daily basis, I work in Sainsburys ( not for) and am usually sitting 8ft up on top of one the freezer or chiller units, ladders, safety barriers, light fitting in pieces around me, obviously rewiring stuff or drilling.
And I'll get that " excuse me.......... Where's the orange juice???"
Unbelievable.

Handsome_Chris

professorben said:

This happens to me on an almost daily basis, I work in Sainsburys ( not for) and am usually sitting 8ft up on top of one the freezer or chiller units, ladders, safety barriers, light fitting in pieces around me, obviously rewiring stuff or drilling.
And I'll get that " excuse me.......... Where's the orange juice???"
Unbelievable.

@Professorben, surely you're just being churlish by not assisting, considering your elevated vantage point.

professorben

Handsome_Chris;1131725" said:

professorben said:

This happens to me on an almost daily basis, I work in Sainsburys ( not for) and am usually sitting 8ft up on top of one the freezer or chiller units, ladders, safety barriers, light fitting in pieces around me, obviously rewiring stuff or drilling.

And I'll get that " excuse me.......... Where's the orange juice???"

Unbelievable.












@Professorben, surely you're just being churlish by not assisting, considering your elevated vantage point.

No I now either punish or reward the hapless shopper with accurate or misleading directions based upon my personal assessment of whether they voted Leave or Remain.

richardhomer

How eggsasperating....

earwighoney

I'd have replied 'What's an egg?  Never seen one in my life before...'

monquixote

professorben said:

This happens to me on an almost daily basis, I work in Sainsburys ( not for) and am usually sitting 8ft up on top of one the freezer or chiller units, ladders, safety barriers, light fitting in pieces around me, obviously rewiring stuff or drilling.
And I'll get that " excuse me.......... Where's the orange juice???"
Unbelievable.

It doesn't just happen in supermarkets. 

When I was at the BBC I'd just gone live with a project to install a content production and asset management system so I was doing a floor walk around the departments that were using it to see if everything was going OK. One woman said to me "Yes that's all fine, but my lamp doesn't work" when I suggested that might be something she should take up with facilities management she said "You're all the same, YOU PEOPLE!".

EricTheWeary

MrsTheWeary used to get asked a lot of questions about where stuff was when she went to Macro. It took a few trips to realise her cheap blue fleece she wore for shopping looked like the ones Macro employees wear.

hobbio

I worked for the Co-Op years ago. It was before scanners, so we'd often get called for a price check.

The answer was ALWAYS 59p, whatever the item was. Pack of chewing gum? 59p. Bag od spuds? 59p. Leg of lamb? 59p. I swear that some people cottoned on and started removing the price from certain things to get a bargain.

I also used to go round and collect the special offer trolleys so I could put them back and pocket the £1 coins that we took out of the till every morning to get them out.

vasselmeyer

If you frequent Reddit, you should post this to https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/

octatonic

I do not, I'm afraid.

sinbaadi

Well played! Not often you get the chance to quickly make your "I should have said this:....!".

I've done this a few times to people. The awkwardness can be comical after the fact.

cj73

Handsome_Chris said:

octatonic said:

Just had a weird trip to the shops.

I need to tell you what I was wearing, because it seems that wearing, biker boots, black jeans and a Belstaff jacket (was on the bike) is too close to the Co-op employees uniform of black trousers and a black zip-up sweater for people to be able to tell the difference.

I was getting my bits and pieces, somewhat distracted by the task at hand and a woman walked up to me and said "Where are your eggs?", fairly rudely I might add.

I thought she was talking to the person behind me, who was not working there but look at egg-lady and she was looking right at me, clearly thinking I was an employee.

Because there was a delay in me responding while I was working it out she rather aggressively repeated her request with one word.

"EGGS!" she repeated, louder this time, as though she was talking to a simpleton.

At that point a small woman with a name badge walked over to see what was happening.

By this time I was able to respond with "Oh, do you think I work here?" to egg-woman.

Rather than apologise she just wordlessly stormed off to wander the aisles, no doubt on her egg quest.

The Co-op employee apologised for egg-woman, which I said was unnecessary but enquired if that was how people speak to her on a daily basis.

She didn't respond but she did not need to.

(I must remember to be extra nice to people who work in shops- what a thankless job.)

So I wandered a bit more and another person, this time a bloke, said 'Where is the hummus?' in my direction.

By this time I was wise to it and I responded with "I'm sorry sir, but Co-op has decided that you are all too fat and we've stopped selling hummus until you all lose some weight' and turned on my heel.

He was spluttering at me until I said loudly "I DON"T WORK HERE".

The employee who apologised earlier was working at the till when I was there, and Egg lady was a couple of people behind me.

We chatted while she rung things up for me and throwing egg-woman a quick look I bid the employee farewell with 'Have an Eggcellent Day'.

So, @Octatonic, where were the eggs?

They're just before the chickens

thecolourbox

cj73;1132031" said:

Handsome_Chris said:



octatonic said:

Just had a weird trip to the shops.I need to tell you what I was wearing, because it seems that wearing, biker boots, black jeans and a Belstaff jacket (was on the bike) is too close to the Co-op employees uniform of black trousers and a black zip-up sweater for people to be able to tell the difference.



I was getting my bits and pieces, somewhat distracted by the task at hand and a woman walked up to me and said "Where are your eggs?", fairly rudely I might add.I thought she was talking to the person behind me, who was not working there but look at egg-lady and she was looking right at me, clearly thinking I was an employee.Because there was a delay in me responding while I was working it out she rather aggressively repeated her request with one word.

"EGGS!" she repeated, louder this time, as though she was talking to a simpleton.At that point a small woman with a name badge walked over to see what was happening.

By this time I was able to respond with "Oh, do you think I work here?" to egg-woman.Rather than apologise she just wordlessly stormed off to wander the aisles, no doubt on her egg quest.

The Co-op employee apologised for egg-woman, which I said was unnecessary but enquired if that was how people speak to her on a daily basis.She didn't respond but she did not need to.(I must remember to be extra nice to people who work in shops- what a thankless job.)

So I wandered a bit more and another person, this time a bloke, said 'Where is the hummus?' in my direction.

By this time I was wise to it and I responded with "I'm sorry sir, but Co-op has decided that you are all too fat and we've stopped selling hummus until you all lose some weight' and turned on my heel.He was spluttering at me until I said loudly "I DON"T WORK HERE".

The employee who apologised earlier was working at the till when I was there, and Egg lady was a couple of people behind me.We chatted while she rung things up for me and throwing egg-woman a quick look I bid the employee farewell with 'Have an Eggcellent Day'.
















So, @Octatonic, where were the eggs?





They're just before the chickens

Depends entirely on your philosophical viewpoint

thomasross20

Great story, OP.
How rude of that lady not to apologise!