I need some help on how to get organised

Niallmo

You can't change who you are but you can change what you do. 

thomasross20

What are these things you want to do?

jellyroll

My suggestion would be to separate the concepts of "earning a living" from "artistic fulfilment". It might give you greater clarity of thought and freedom in both areas. 

Roland

holnrew said:

Life is tough like that. I'm coming out of a deep depression and I have loads of things to fix that I neglected during that time. Yesterday I cleaned my kitchen sink which stank and had a film ofbacteria over everything in it. Now I feel more able to clean the rest of my dishes and get my kitchen clean, which starts a ball rolling. Looking after myself first makes me feel more ready to do the other things. I suspect you don't have as much difficulty with personal hygiene as I do, but there are other ways we neglect ourselves, and organisation is related to self esteem. If you don't feel worthwhile it makes it harder to do things we feel we don't deserve, like a happy stress free life. One thing my last CBT lady said has stuck with me, that I won't ever feel worth it if I don't start acting as though I am and do the things that make life more comfortable.

I dunno I kind of rambled there and none of it may apply to you, but I guess what I mean is start small, let yourself feel good about it, and the ball kind of starts rolling from there.

This post cuts to the heart of the matter: first, to be something you have to act as though you already are, and secondly to take it in small steps.

We've all got our methods of prioritising, of motivating ourselves, and checking what we've done. They can help to keep us focused on the bigger goals, help us balance our time, help us to remember and make space for essentials. They can also help us fill our lives with "stuff", and cram so much in that the quality gets squeezed out.

Acting as though you are already where you want to be, and not trying to do too much, changes what you decide to put into those to do lists.

johnswiss

I know it's not always the same for everyone but I found having kids gave me a bit of a kick up the arse. I don't know why, I have less time but maybe I use what I have a bit better, or it feels like that anyway. And if you have spells just at the computer that feels okay too because hey you have a kid and that's hard work but also a really worthwhile thing you're doing, the most worthwhile thing. 

Nikko

johnswiss said:

I know it's not always the same for everyone but I found having kids gave me a bit of a kick up the arse. I don't know why, I have less time but maybe I use what I have a bit better, or it feels like that anyway. And if you have spells just at the computer that feels okay too because hey you have a kid and that's hard work but also a really worthwhile thing you're doing, the most worthwhile thing. 

Id agree with this. You find that you are a little more focussed on the things you want to do in your spare time, when the spare time is quite limited. It certainly gave me a kick up the arse, and made me more organised...because I had to be.

it is very important though that you DO make some time for yourself. I thought I was being a little selfish at first, but its important for your own wellbeing. If you are mentally exhausted, the whole 'being a husband and Dad' thing becomes even more difficult.

Moominpapa

I think @octatonic made a useful comment about keeping logs. From your first post it seems like you're experiencing something I'm all too familiar with - a sense that time has passed since you last told yourself "I've got to be more productive" and then you find yourself sitting at the computer and you look back and think "what the heck have I actually done since I made that resolution to do more?!!" Following the @octatonic idea how about drafting out some plans for things that you really want to do, and then scrupulously keeping a log after each thing you do. This serves two purposes: on the one hand the written record will show that you are actually doing things and encourage you to do more. On the other hand, a lot of blank spaces might just give you enough of a 'guilty conscience' nudge to see something filled in. The log thing won't be a panacea, but it might be a useful part of an overall strategy.  

BigMonka

It's important to be honest with yourself about how you work too - I find it hard to get much done in the evening (particularly after kids are in bed and I've spent some time with my wife) so if I haven't done something productive during the day then I spend the evening feeling like a failure and that I haven't got enough time to do all the things I want to do.

So I started setting an alarm and getting up 30min earlier and doing a not-too-strenuous 20min workout before the kids get up. By breakfast I feel like I've achieved something that day and it gives me extra motivation to get things done during the rest of the day.

Or if you're more productive at night then accept that and find ways to make it work for you.

CabbageCat

It's easier just to accept that doing something you enjoy is being productive. I've had moments where I've set myself a productive project (learn instrument, learn language, make stuff, earn money) and the fulfilment I've gained from it is not really any greater or more life-affirming than building a massive construction in Minecraft or taking down a raid boss in World of Warcraft.

Achieving something is just another positive stimulus. Don't beat yourself up for pursuing a different one instead. We're all just as dead when we're dead.

Winny_Pooh

You could leave the forum completely. That would free up some time for cooking, basket weaving or doing yoga. 

Jalapeno

As one similarly afflicted with a "Butterfly mind" in the past, try and drop stuff that isn't core as it's a just a total distraction.  Lists are good for discipline too.

Drew_TNBD

thomasross20 said:

What are these things you want to do?

Quite a few things. I'm teaching myself to code Python and C# in Unity, and the LUA scripting language. I'm also learning the ins and outs of Blender and game design - I'm thinking I want to make a game.

Then there is the music stuff - recording stuff for work, as well as for my band. Writings songs, etc...

Exercise stuff - Running, cycling, weights.

My problem is that I'll have a burst of action on any of these things, and then huge chunks of downtime where I don't have any effort or drive. I'm hoping a proper routine will help address this.

Drew_TNBD

Jalapeno said:

As one similarly afflicted with a "Butterfly mind" in the past, try and drop stuff that isn't core as it's a just a total distraction.  Lists are good for discipline too.

If I stuck to the 'core' things, I really would end up shooting myself in the head!!

It's the core stuff I want to get away from tbh. The day to day doldrums existence is really taking it's toll. I want to see big changes in my career, in my music, and in my life in general - kid on the way takes care of that last one and probably kills the need for the other two! ha.

Rocker

@Drew_fx, you need to accept that you can't do everything.  At least not everything at the same time.  Make a short list of what you want to do, scrub the least important items on your list until you have a manageable number.  And 'allow' yourself some time off.  Rest or a complete change is important.  More important than most people think.  Good luck mate.

camf

Is it really about organisation? Isn't it about focus? I think you can be pretty disorganised in your life but if you're really focused on something - and can stay focused - then you're well on your way to getting a result. How you get rid of the other crap is immaterial and varies in every individual's own circumstances... but that focus on a single goal is what seems to get most people where they want to be. That's probably not especially helpful. Good luck, though.