Observations on getting old(er)

MtB

Back to the OP, when I go into a shop these days the assistant says "....can I help you Sir.." and I turn round to see who's behind me!

WTF. Some of the youff are too polite. 

55th B'day earlier this month.

johnswiss

I'm 46 and found myself reading reviews about toilet seats the other night, and today I fitted it and felt knackered afterwards. That's all.

Grunfeld

Rocker said:

The point I made, one that most seem to have missed, is that one becomes considered irrelevant and unimportant the older one gets.  It happens to everyone at some stage.  Including yourself.

I'm not sure this is necessarily the case because there are so many counter-examples to the notion.
For starters, people can feel invisible and unimportant at any age! 
Think of the child who is seen but not heard; the teenager who's overlooked because he or she is not even an adult; the 20-something who has fresh creative ideas for the business but is ignored because of lack of experience; the 30 and 40 year old who is discovering they have sacrificed everything important about themselves for a relationship and a career in which they are just playing a role, and who long to live life again and do things differently. 
And conversely, think of many of the people you have hopefully met who are in their 70s and 80s who have great bearing, wisdom, and presence.  People who can be wise and funny.  (And of course some are a pain in the arse with 70 years of practice.)
Invisibility has a lot about social context and state of mind. 

I've just recently read a fascinating book on the subject of loneliness and one of the ideas is that when we experience loneliness we trigger a state of what psychologists call hypervigilance for social threat.  We unknowingly begin to experience the world in increasingly negative terms, and both expect and remember instances of rudeness, rejection, and abrasion, giving them great weight than other, more begin or friendly interactions.  The cognitive bias is not easy to spot.
I'm not going to compress the argument but it's plausible to expect that others will come to mirror and confirm one's experience.  So you'll get a vicious circle of confirmation bias and a self-fulfilling prophesy of negative expectations.

The short version is:  some people are invisible all their lives; half of the problem could be them.  

Rocker

chrispy108 said:

You're confusing their age with their rudeness. They didn't bump into you because they're young and you're old, they did it because they're rude.

You've also just admitted to assaulting people. Why don't you just avoid the collision if you can see it coming?

Good point about people being rude.  I never thought of that.  As for myself, I have no swerve as such - I can only walk in a straight line - thus I am unable to avoid people walking into me.  My balance is fairly precarious too so rather than end up sprawled on the ground, I developed the technique to stay upright.

Philly_Q

Rocker said:

Apart from the aches and pains, which take longer and longer to go away, one thing about getting older is that you become more and more invisible.  It is almost as if the world is for the young and the old should get out of the way.  An example, I was walking along the footpath in our local town recently.  Two guys, in their early twenties or so, walked out of a shop and crashed into me almost knocking me down.  They simply walked away without even an apology.  Or a half hearted 'are you OK?'.  Not even a 'sorry' for almost flattening me.  To them, I had become invisible.  I hope it stays fine for them.....

I've always had that invisibility thing.  Especially where women are concerned, which is unfortunate.  But it's nice when some drunken twat stumbles onto a tube or train and looks for someone to philosophise at.  It's never me.

I don't think there are many positives to getting older, except that staff in guitar shops treat you nicely, even when they realise you're the shittiest player they've ever seen in their lives.

Sambostar

 Not my place to say but I think youn spend too mcuh effort on HiFi cable supports rather than people, much the same as I like to drink real ale.  Honestly think 'Old' has nothing to do with it.  Never really thought as anyone as being 'Old'; personally, but however you want to think by life`'s parameters I suppose.  We';re all guilty of it.

fields5069

I feel less invisible now, the older I get. The older you get, if you make some attempt to look healthy, maybe wear some current-ish clothing (not yoof clothing, but certainly not the all-encompassing short-sleeved darts-player-esque overshirt) then you may well be surprised. The reason most people become invisible is, let's face it, because they do morph into something quite abstract in looks and dress sense - a grey, blue, brown, whatever blob of stuff. The hair goes in a lot of men, not much to be done about that. If you get some style back into your life, whatever your shape, if you carry it well and breeze around with the authority which you actually have, then you will be surprised. It doesn't have to be much - a nice pink shirt and jeans, tucked in whatever the state of your gut, some decent grooming, job done. :-)

Philly_Q

fields5069 said:

It doesn't have to be much - a nice pink shirt and jeans, tucked in whatever the state of your gut, some decent grooming, job done. :-)

I don't think that look would work for me.  Sounds a bit Jeremy Clarkson, actually... 

fields5069

Philly_Q said:

fields5069 said:

It doesn't have to be much - a nice pink shirt and jeans, tucked in whatever the state of your gut, some decent grooming, job done. :-)

I don't think that look would work for me.  Sounds a bit Jeremy Clarkson, actually... 

Misappropriated by that.... blob of stuff, yes. I was thinking more ex-rugger bugger. He carries the look off about as well as Donald Trump would.

A nice clashing v-neck jumper over the top would elevate it out of that man's sartorial reach though. :-)

TheBlueWolf

People narrowly avoid crashing into me a lot. Using a walking stick I try to plan ahead a little and gauge which direction they're going in.

My theory is people are either a bit ignorant or, most probably, are distracted by the various demands of life and genuinely didn't see me.

The young uns round my way are no doubt up to mischief ( we all were at that age ) but are a decent bunch.

rlw

You go off/get bored with sex.